Twas the day of Christmas.
And all through the blog, not a creature was stirring, not even a Bob.

First of all, I wish everybody a merry Christmas. So, here we are, Christmas 2011! What is everybody doing?
I’m going to be really politically incorrect. Screw this “Happy Holidays” crap.

Let’s just face the facts: Today is Christmas day, and on Christmas you wish people a Merry Christmas. Most people aren’t really super religious anymore, so deal with it. It’s Christmas, it’s the day of gift-giving, it’s the day of massive disappointment on many kid’s faces because they didn’t get the presents they really wanted. It’s the day of putting on a fake face when your mother gets you that sweater you didn’t want.

Or your girlfriend or boyfriend gets you something you never really craved. It’s the agony on a child’s face when its grandparents come over and instead of a giant car or a big wheel, you get the itchy sweater that grandma knit and a check for $17.

It’s also the elation of being a child and not being able to fall asleep. We used to try to go to bed at 6:00pm on Christmas eve because we wanted Christmas day to come faster. We were up all night long staring at the tree wondering what was in there. I actually already knew, because I knew all the hiding places of the presents. Each year I would know every single present that was under the tree. I didn’t let my sister and brother know about it, I really did keep that a secret.

Christmas used to be amazing when we were kids. Now as adults, it’s lost all of the magic. We don’t get much of anything special because we already buy ourselves everything we want.

So what’s everybody doing this holiday season? How are you sharing this holiday season with others?

Today at Christmas I’m going to watch reruns of all my favorite Lassie episodes. There’s Lassie’s Christmas story, 1958. I’ll post it on the blog. There was some really unbelievable acting in the 50s, I’ve got to show you this.

Really, I have no idea what I’m going to do yet. But I know what I’m not going to do. I’m not going to open my presents and think about what presents I don’t like. I’m going to embrace all the presents that come in. As of now, Santa hasn’t paid me a visit yet.

But you never know if St. Nick will slide his ass down that chimney, and if he does, hopefully he won’t get stuck because my chimney has a pretty narrow shaft.
Anyway, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! Do any of you know who said that line? If you do, you get to go to Tom’s house for Christmas. It’s not tiny Tom, it’s tiny who?

And for those of you who always wanted to be a Santa in a mall, check out this strange group of guys.