Thailand Valentines DayAlright, I had to tell you happy Valentines Day.

So let’s get that out of the way.

We don’t have to talk about Valentines Day.

First off, as a man, we had our Valentines Day about 10 days ago, when the Ravens beat the 49ers in the Super Bowl.

We had our favorite chips, our favorite dip, our favorite friends, our favorite drinks, our favorite couch, and our favorite game.

We couldn’t be any happier than when we were  watching the game that Sunday.

For all you non-sports fans that can’t relate to this–sorry, I can’t help you.

But for the rest of us normal people, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

So let’s talk about Valentines Day.

If you’re single, or if you have a girlfriend, you’ve got two options today:

If you’ve got a girlfriend, you need to go through the rigmarole for her sake. Hallmark blessed us with a paper holiday in the middle of February, in order to keep us occupied for some-odd reason or another.

So as a man with a woman, you’re forced to acknowledge it; otherwise, you’re going to have lousy sex for the next two months because you’re the asshole boyfriend that didn’t deliver on Valentines Day.

Chew on that for a bit.

Better yet, get your ass in gear! Make it a special day for her, make sure that it’s all about her today–do that and you’re going to have peace and calm for the next six weeks.

It’s almost like the groundhog seeing his shadow; you’ll make it all the way to springtime. You’ll be on cruise control; you’ll be fine.

Or, if you choose to ignore this advice and be a typical guy, then you’ll have pain and suffering for the next six weeks when spring hits.

If you’re single today, get it out of your head–who cares?

You should be happy that you don’t have anybody right now so you don’t have to pay triple tonight at a restaurant.

You don’t have to get a stupid card or write anything mushy in there.

You don’t have to buy a gift, and spend all this money that you don’t have because you’re still paying off Christmas bills.

Don’t worry about it. It’s just a day. It’s no big deal.

If you’re single and you can rally a bunch of people, have an I-Hate-Valentines-Day party tonight at your house. Or, meet at a local bar and have an I-Hate-Valentines-Day party there.

If you’re single and you want to meet some women today, go grab some of those chalk-tasting, disgusting candies that say “Be Mine”, and give it out to all the women in your office. Give it out to all the women you meet in all the elevators. Go out to a bar tonight and give it out to the women that you meet.

You’ll find women to be very receptive today. They don’t have a boyfriend, so they’ll be keen to your advances.

So there’s a quick little reminder of what you can do to make this Valentine’s Day fun.

Just because Hallmark forced us into a holiday in the middle of February doesn’t mean you still can’t find a way to make it profitable for your social life.

Have fun.