MonkeyI was out the other night and I ran into an old friend. He was with another guy friend so we hung out.  We started talking about life, women, and everything else. My friend suddenly announces, “You know, I haven’t masturbated in nearly a month. I wanted to build up all that sexual tension for when I meet the right girl.”

“That’s a cool thing to do,” I said.

When you build up all that energy between partners, when you have sex again it’s going to be a really powerful explosion. Anyway, this other guy looked at him as if he was out of his mind and said, “Man, I masturbate twice every day!”

Honestly, if you’ve never sat around with a bunch of people having the masturbation conversation it’s a real mind trip. So I looked at the guy and said, “Twice every day? Do you have a set routine or what?”

His answer took me a little off-guard.

“Nope. I do it once in the office and then once at night. Don’t worry I don’t do it in my work cubicle. I go to the bathroom, go into the dumper and do it in there.” He explained.

“What turns you on in the office?” I asked.

“It’s the cubical receptionist I walk past every day. She’s so hot. I get so turned on I have to go snap a load.” He confessed.

This guy was starting to creep me out now. Snapping a load off in the middle of the day at work, and thinking of the receptionist he drools over 24/7. If only she knew, one of the guys in her office goes into the bathroom and jerks off thinking of her. Imagine how she’d feel for a second.

So then I thought I’d find out what he had going on at night. “So you still need to jerk off at night? What turns you on then?”

Without a thought, the guy answered me…

“Yep. In the evening, I normally look at pictures of actresses. I love that Kristen Stewart from the Twilight movies.”

This guy is 48 years old and he’s still jerking off over pictures of actresses?

He clearly hasn’t matured past the age of 17. In the end, I said goodbye to my friend and left. It was getting a little too weird hearing a grown man talk about masturbating to Kirsten Stewart, a teen pin-up to millions of boys still at the wet dream stage of development!

It made me think how much like monkeys in a zoo men can be. Men masturbate profusely. Have you ever been to the zoo and watched a monkey? It eats its banana and jerks off at the same time!

So here’s the question of the day…

Is there anyone else like me that believes masturbation is just a pipe cleaning exercise between partners, or is it a way of life to you?

I just don’t get the whole thing about thinking of the girl you just passed in the street, or looking at pictures of film stars. To me that’s something you’d do when you’re 15 years old and at school. Masturbation is there to relieve the tension between partners and that’s it. But twice a day?

Isn’t that when it starts to become a habit?

So let’s be honest. How many of you still whack off to pictures of celebrities?

I know most of you probably use porn so I don’t want to know about that, but how many of you have masturbation fantasies about film stars or perhaps even people you know. Who’s brave enough to comment below?