chasing womenYou know one of the greatest things about life?

It’s recognizing the different phases you go through.

Recently a good friend of mine emailed me. He’s in his 40’s and he just spent some time in Columbia chasing young women. He told me I should go and join him. I thought about it, and then I realized that I’m so past that point in my life. It just doesn’t sound fun anymore. I told him that too.

He told me I was, “Turning into an old man.”

I told him I’ve already done all that. I don’t need to do it anymore. There’s other things I’d rather be doing.

You see, I love hanging out with my younger coaches, hearing their stories about the women they’re chasing, and the things they’re learning and doing. It’s great, they’re in the pussy-chasing stage of their life, and it’s a lot of fun.

While I was in my 20’s and 30’s chasing women was just the greatest activity I could ever think of.  When I wasn’t in a relationship, there was nothing more fun than going out to Whole Foods during prime time, flirting with a girl, getting her number, going out with her, and sleeping with her (or not). It was fun.

I enjoyed every single moment of my ‘player’ days.

I was a player, I’ll admit it to any woman I meet. I’ll admit it to anybody.  I played through my 20’s, I played through my 30’s and I loved every minute of it.  I had a great career, and then I decided to go into coaching. By going into coaching, I made the decision almost like any other player who retires, that I would do things differently.

The things that used to be important to me were no longer important. Chasing women, validation, fun, and sleeping with strange woman… all that stuff was such a blast.  But as you mellow with age and go on with your life, you no longer have to play the game you used to play, because you no longer need the validation.

You see, I’ve mellowed.  At my age right now, I enjoy helping other people do the things that I used to do all the time. I used to love doing all the things a lot of guys write in and want to learn.  So now being like any other coach in any other sport, I’m “the master” teaching it.  I’m no different from a football player that goes into coaching after his career is over.

He doesn’t want to play the game anymore, doesn’t have the hunger to play the game, but still enjoys being around it and teaching. That’s what it feels like. I feel like I’ve retired from the chase, but I enjoy teaching others and helping them to succeed. I enjoy teaching men the power of attraction. I enjoy teaching women how to understand men.

It’s such a different phase in my life, and I’m enjoying it just as much as I enjoyed the constant chase.  Now I like my alone time.  I really do.  I never used to have that much alone time.

It’s fun. I actually enjoy my vacations a lot more. I enjoy sitting by the pool and reading and taking long walks, not having to wonder where the tail is at, where all the women are. It’s so much more relaxing. It’s much more fulfilling. My connections run deeper.

My friendships are deeper. I’m more present. I remember when I was in my player stage of my life, I remember not being present, ever. To be honest, when I was in my 20s, I was such a dog chasing women all over the place, that my friends nicknamed me ‘Spot the Dog.’ They never knew where I was going to be next.

I remember one day, we were out heading somewhere for the day. They lost me, and they had to backtrack 10 blocks because I was too busy talking to women along the street.

They told the woman they needed to put a leash on me because I was consistently ‘dogging’ women. I was always getting lost. Everything I did revolved around meeting women in my 20s and 30s. Everything. No matter where I went, everything was planned out. That’s why I think I’m so good at helping guys understand how to do this stuff.

I was there. I lived and breathed it. It was my life.

I used to know the exact time when to go to the market, and the exact days. When I was online dating, I know the exact second that was best to meet women. I still know it, I just don’t use it for myself. It’s been a lot more fun helping other guys succeed.

What phase are you at in your life?

Are you still going through the player stage? Is it all about the number of women you can have? Or are you looking for a deeper connection now? What is it you’re looking for? Let’s talk today!