Get Over Your PastLet’s talk today about your upbringing. How many of you realize your upbringing actually affects what you are in a relationship?

Let’s go even deeper — a client of mine recently came to me and said “David, I don’t understand — I can’t seem to ever get close to a woman. The second they want anything more than just sex and some fun I shut down emotionally. I don’t understand. They’re such amazing people. I don’t understand why I can’t open up.”

During our coaching session we went deeper into what was going on. And I got him to admit that when he was a child, he spent most of his childhood trying to open up to his parents and being shut down constantly.

At one point in his life, he decided he’d lock himself in his room and create his safe world. His safe world consists of never sharing anything with anybody. Basically, just satisfying himself.

The life he decided to lead was a very independent life. The trouble was he needed people, but couldn’t let himself get close to them.

Whenever a woman tried to close to him, he immediately shut down, because his past programming — his upbringing — told him that it wasn’t safe to go there. He didn’t feel safe, because he didn’t know how long she would be around, because every signal time his parents opened up to him a little bit, they would basically shut him out again.

Our past experiences often program the way we react and behave in certain situations in the future. In relationships, those past experiences can stop you meeting potential partners or they can lead you into relationships that aren’t good for you.

Today you need to really look back at your past, and the way you were brought up.

Take a look at things that happened to you, take a look at the stories you’ve created, and take a look at the way you act in relationships.

Really think deeply about how your past may be affecting you now, and try to uncover any blocks you’re not dealing with.

It might be time to explore some coaching too, because a lot of the time we can’t do this on our own. And this is something that I really think all of us need to work on, because I’m going to tell you something…

I’ve done it myself and it enabled me to grow as a man. But this isn’t about me today. It’s about YOU!