In love with a computerLast night I watched one of the most disturbing movies I’ve ever seen. It was Joaquin Phoenix in the movie “Her.”

Spike Jonze is a great director and always seems to make some funky moves, but this was definintely out there. Scarlett Johansen played the voice of an operating system that Phoenix’s character falls in love with, and it made me think…

It’s crazy how so many of you are negative. You’re so nervous around women. Most of the guys I’ve coached have spent their whole life terrified of talking to women. Most guys have some kind of porn addiction. And so many of them don’t have a clue how to change things.

What disturbed me so much about the movie was that I saw the future for so many men. You guys are really lonely. I get that. I read your posts and I think to myself, “They’d rather complain, bitch, and talk about the things they can’t do, instead of walking through the fear and trying to actually become the kind of men they want to be.” I see so many guys who would instantly fall in love with an operating system that could talk to them.

There was a really creepy scene in the movie too where Joaquin Phoenix and Her are actually having sex. It’s only verbal but it’s just really nasty. They actually do a dark screen during it just to give you an idea of how alone, lonely, and sick it actually is. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not just a men’s disease. There’s a female character in the movie who also falls in love with her operating system as well.

The thing about it is, it’s such an accurate synopsis of our society today. Society is littered with lonely people trying to connect in any way they can. Most people in society are terrified of human interaction, so they put themselves on Tinder, OKCupid, and other things in a half-assed attempt to meet someone. It’s not actually that far-fetched that one day soon they’ll be an app where your iPhone makes love to you. In fact, I’ve said it thousands of times, watch the way women touch their phones. Watch how women caress and romance their phones. I’m amazed there isn’t some kind of vibrator app on their yet. They just slip on a special attachment, turn on the app, and away they go into la la land!

But seriously, this movie, “Her” really shows society for what it’s becoming. If it was possible, I bet people would fall in love with an operating system. Why? For one, it’s easy. Secondly, your operating system knows your writing and browsing behavior, so it knows all the buttons it needs to press to turn you on. It could actually be the world’s most perfect relationship.

“Why Can’t I Find A Myself A Real Girlfriend?”

Of course, it’s unrealistic, but it’s the perfect relationship for so many people. It allows you to fall in love with something fake. There’s no risk when you fall in love with an operating system. Your operating system knows you inside out. Show me another “person” who knows you as well as your operating system. That’s one of the biggest issues in today’s society. Nobody wants to take a risk. Women don’t want to open themselves up. Women don’t want to smile. Women are still waiting for the man to come over and approach, but most guys have the disease of social anxiety and can’t go near them.

Men are too afraid to commit to something, so they’re constantly searching for a magic pill. They’re looking for some kind of answer, or something that will give them the power and courage to face a woman. We’re a society searching for any shortcut we can possibly find for love. “Her” is just another shortcut to love. A beautiful, sexy voice at the beginning of the movie that allows you to choose what kind of operating system you want. You can have a man or a woman. It really plays on our desire for life to fall into our lap. You’ve heard me say it a thousand times, but people still expect love to land in their laps, and it won’t.

Nothing worth having is ever going to land in your lap. Think about it. Falling in love is like playing the lottery. Wouldn’t it be great if you brought a ticket and knew you were a winner? Wouldn’t it be great to know you would get all that money before you even brought your ticket?

Nothing works that way folks. Life is a lottery. Love is a lottery. You need to take risks every single day. Stop relying on technology because it’s soon going to push us to the point we no longer know how to take risks. You need to spend your time offline in the real world, meeting real people, and having real relationships. I know it’s lonely and we all crave attention. We all crave attention so much that when it comes our way, even if it’s in the form of an operating system, we’ll take it.

That’s why so many men go to happy ending massage parlors and hookers. They feel good because they get some of the attention they need. And men are great at creating fake romances based on some of these relationships. I’ll talk about that in another blog, but watch the movie “Her” and think about how you want your future to look. Do you want it to be spent in the arms of a beautiful woman, or with an operating system called, “Her?”