Hollywood dreamDo you imagine living in Los Angeles as something sexy and glamorous?

Have you ever dreamed of being in Los Angeles and living a day to day adventure like in “Entourage?”

Could it be a little bit like in “Curb Your Enthusiasm” where you have long lunches with friends, an constantly make fun of other people and get into weird situations? Well, let me tell you a bit about the Hollywood dream, and a little of what the “beautiful” women that live here are all about. Any of you who live in Los Angeles or have ever been here, this may be the funniest thing you read for a while, because you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. There’s always been a constant flow of new models/actresses/waitresses/hookers in Los Angeles. Women come here from all over the States (and world.)

She has dreams and aspirations. Everyone tells her she’s going to be an amazing actress one day, so she comes to L.A. From there she’s tossed around from pillar to post. She arrives and meets her other model/actress friends. They all support each other immensely, but we all know if it came to them going for the same role they’d happily slit each other’s throats.  Then she starts dating all the dysfunctional men that run Hollywood; the producers, the directors, and the actors. They toss her around like a turnip in a salad. A couple of years later she’s over that game. She’s tired and jaded. She doesn’t trust men anymore. She’s been abused in so many different ways. So what about her career?

She’s probably serving you that wonderful meal you’re about to enjoy in that fancy restaurant. What’s funny is she’s probably not even much good at doing that. Her dreams are dying. She can’t stand it anymore. The model/waitress/actress sometimes becomes hooker/happy ending massage girl. Note- The happy ending girl doesn’t do anything except jerking guys off but it’s not exactly the Hollywood role she dreamed of. 

How is this all going to end for her?

It’s usually a 7-year cycle. They haven’t settled down. They’re not dating. They’re angry and frustrated. They need to find something. They take up Yoga class. They chant and before long, they’re taking their teacher training. That’ right. Every one of these women is teaching Yoga somewhere. They scrap together the $1200 it costs to certify and become instructors.

They change their name a little too. It used to be Mary, now it’s Maria-May or something like that. Here’s the beauty of Yoga. You get paid $40 or $50 a class to teach Yoga. You do the math. They’re not working all the time because there’s so many of them running around. So now, they’re even more broke than they were before. At least now they’re spiritually grounded.

It’s a vicious cycle in L.A. So many people romanticize about life in L.A. I strongly suggest you look at the truth if you ever get a pang to come and join the “party.” It’s a place full of lost souls, who find Yoga. If you’re not attracted to women who walk around in Yoga pants all day, and dress themselves down because they’re angry and don’t want to look pretty anymore, then stay away from L.A.

I’d love to hear your experiences with L.A. Maybe you know someone who came here looking for their fortune and ended up getting the hell home!