You know what SHK stands for? It’s a Should-Have-Known person. We do this to ourselves every day of our lives.
We do it when we eat something bad for breakfast. “Ugh, I shouldn’t have had those greasy eggs this morning, man. They made my stomach feel horrible. I really shouldn’t have had that doughnut. If I didn’t have that doughnut a couple hours ago, I wouldn’t feel this way right now.”
“I shouldn’t have bet on the Jets again. I knew they were going to lose. I’m just throwing my money away.”
You know, we do this every single day in all aspects of our lives. “I never should have made that business investment. I should have made that phone call earlier. I really should have left on time for that meeting. “
It’s in everything. In life, every single one of us has a “should have done that” moment.
“Shouldn’t have dated that person. That’s the wrong type of person for me. Why do I keep dating that type of person?”
“I never should have slept with that person. I can’t believe I did. Why did I call that person back? I know better than that.”
Here’s the deal: If you know better, then why do you continue to do it? The reason why you continue to do it is because you don’t trust yourself. You’ve never really taken the time to get to know yourself and accept yourself.
We all make mistakes, every single day. Every day we make mistakes left and right. That fact is never going to change. But if you want to start minimizing your mistakes, if you want to stop your crazy bad decision-making, what you’ve got to do is start understanding the mistakes that you’re making. And then you’ve got to start recognizing when those same situations start to come up again.
There are too many good things that you can have in your life, too many good moments that you could be experiencing but you’re missing out on them. Every single time you touch a scalding hot pan, you tell yourself that you’re never going to do it again, right? But what happens?
It’s time to wake up. You know better.
David,
I used to be one of these people. I feel that there is a correlation between people who willfully make poor decisions and people who aren’t comfortable with who they are. For the longest time, I thought that I was a brilliant person, with awesome potential in the scientific field. So much so that I let it rule my life. I had a masochistic nature, and willfully made poor decisions. WHY? I was uncomfortable with who I was, so I would set up distractions. Especially with women! Story time: I’m not a bad looking dude, and I’d say that my hair is one of my distinguishing characteristics. At the time of this story, I was seeing this women on and off, and I hadn’t seen her in a while. I went to get a hair cut and I had the hair dresser cut it short for a change. She asked me, “clippers or scissors?” I always get a scissors cut, because I KNOW that the clippers cut my hair too short. Yet I proceeded to answer with “clippers, please.” My hair was crafted into a buzz cut! This is not what attracted the girl that I was seeing, and I knew it! Yet I proceeded anyways. You guessed it, she acted unfavorably and gave me less attention and attraction. I just wanted to punish myself. I guess I should have known.
I’m not like that anymore. Now that I respect myself and I live in the moment; I make decisions for the well-being of myself.
Thanks, David
–Dom
Hey People! I am back from holidays and want to whish you an awesome year 2012!! Hope everybody can reach their goals and dating goals aswell…
Hey Dom, that sounds like she was just dating you because of your hair. As you cut it off she did not pay attention to you anymore. What kind of people do that?!? I mean, I had short hair for looooong time, and now I am letting it grow long. People treat me the same as before!
By the way David, yesterday finished your book on the way back home. Had something like 10 hours in the train and read it all at once!
I really enjoyed and am going to begin with the excercises you have in there. I have been working already with Shogo a couple of them, anyways there is still a lot of things to do still!
And for today’s topic, I have met during my whole life, a lot of people that come to me asking for advice in different areas, and when I told them what to do, they always answer me, “I know it, I know that I have to do it, but I just do not….”
That means then, that they do really not know it? Or are just insane?
Life is about taking risks, it is easy to look back and say, I should of, could of, done this. If one never made mistakes there wouldn’t be nothing to learn and life would become boring. Because when your life changes, and you look back from where you came, it gives you a great feeling!
Thanks for the New Years Wishes Jose, and right back at you. And Dom, I’ve also made dumb decisions because of pretty girls. SHK!
I hate the should’ve known feeling. I usually get it with food. I’m generally pretty good about what I eat but damnit, pizza is just so tasty. Then I eat it and feel terrible and I can’t exercise because I feel to terrible and then I get annoyed with myself because I just should’ve known better.
Not doing something leads to regrets.
Doing something leads to experience.
i feel that i am connecting with women on a deeper level ive been. this shk feeling is the regret i feel when i dont connect to the degree i feel i should have. i had this feeing before christmas andi feel it could have helped me avoid heartache if i only had known. im over that and thank god! because now im on to a different woman. the fact is i met his beautiful young brunette while shopping for dress shoes. we had solid connection and call her sweer kicks you know fr the shoes she had on. problem is that nonholida times dont have their own festive spirit. i feel that xmas is a crutch to me but when its over thres no more party. which is the case for me. i got her number but i need first date ideas….please give me first date ideas! i live in the midwest…good god i hope she doesnt google-stalk…lol!
SHK for me used to be about not trusting my gut instinct enough. I let other people talk me around and out of things. The last time that I did that was with the kids dad. I am currently going through Court and will wind up “donating” in total about $800,000 (yes, you read that right – our legal system is different to the States) to the man that arrived with an old Ford and new fridge as his contribution. This has been an incredibly expensive lesson to learn.
Saying that, though, sometimes there are people in life that are just damned good at hiding things. For the SHK with the kids dad, there was no evidence supporting my gut instinct until five years ago. Sometimes, we just need to accept that some people are walking con’s and masters of deception.
Thankfully, I know that my experience with him is a one off. Most men I know and those that I have had previous relationships do not act like this. I see this is a reflection on him, and if anything, feel pity for him. Life can’t be easy keeping up a constant charade and lie.
there is a song i should known better…but u r right…right now is a time for me to start planning on what i am going to do this year and not worry about what happened last year…that turned out to be disastrous. but we all learn by our own mistakes…
I should have know (actually I did know) dating a girl 25 years younger than me, would never work….But what the hell, I figured, one last chance at that kind of ass and excitement would be worth the final result. Didn’t expect it to last a year, (more like a month or two) so the pain was a little more than expected, even though I knew it was a total wrong connection, in almost every way. She had three small children, that there was no way with my lifestyle, that I could take on, and I told her honestly, up front the truth. Maybe she thought she could change my mind? Hell no, I have so many plans, and things to do, that there is no way I could do it tied down with a bunch of spoiled rug rats! Do I regret it….? Well, maybe now, but I am quickly realizing it is time to get serious and realistic, and find my true soulmate, that is in the same mindset as I am, and on the same pager. Damn, trouble is, after sleeping with a hottie, that even the 20 year olds were drewling over, then moving to something my age,or at least 10 years or so within, it is harder than hell to get any kind of sexual chemistry, or interest. I guess I will just have to get used to it. It was a hell of a ride while it lasted, and I can truly say, I will never regret my one last chance at feelling like a winner, 30 years younger, having a hot babe at my side, and the confidence it built, was incredible! I could walk up to any woman and she would become instantly attracted to me because of the confidence I exuded from “having” the hottest girl in the bar. Now I don’t have her, but need to learn to maintain that same high confidence level, and use the same techniques,and experience, so I can keep getting the same interest I had when I did have it.
I’ve been in pleanty of those situations, and still get myself into them, it’s one of the things I want to cut down on in the new year, which started off pretty well for me. I ended up meeting some great old friends and a couple of new people, who knows what will happen there and got my first tattoo today, and I already feel like a brand new man. Hopefully this is a sign of many great things to come.
Is it just me or is this version of Bob really great!
Who knew
Funny one, because if you don’t try you won’t know. I am the other way. I don’t try and tell the guy that I think he is amazing and wonderful and now regret it! opps, so he is with someone else now only to find out he liked me… I am more, I should have done that! Dear me… :-/
jeez,,, bad example.
I mean ANYONE should know not to bet on the Jets.