Written for Match.com

Secrets of Women

A dating coach reveals 27 things every man needs to know

Over the last 10 years of coaching men, I have been asked time and time again to come up with a list of the best secrets for meeting, approaching and attracting great women.

Well, guys, there is no magic pickup line that will work in every situation, but there are guidelines that will help you understand a woman better, so you can be more successful in making a connection.

For those of you interested in being successful with women for the rest of your lives, take note of these simple things that will help you understand women far better than you do now.

10 secrets you need to know

  1. All women like surprises; women believe they should be surprised at least once a month.
  2. All women have fantasies. A man should take the time to find out her fantasy.
  3. Women want a man to “be sensitive yet fight for them” be sensitive yet fight for them if they needed to.
  4. Women want a man to be gentle and rough at the same time.
  5. Women want to be told they’re beautiful, then after a time told they’re sexy.
  6. Women want their man to notice when another man tries to pick them up, but refrain from jealousy.
  7. Women will alter their appearance with a new hairstyle or buy something skimpy for themselves, not a man.
  8. A woman will groom herself that day if there is a chance for her to meet someone that night.
  9. Women believe in the fairytale and will look at most men in the first 30 seconds as if they could be the prince they have been looking for.
  10. If a woman really likes a man, she will spend all day trying to look good for him and still not feel perfect, yet at times she will not be made up and feel perfect.

10 ways make yourself attractive to woman

  1. Be confident in who you are.
  2. Have a sense of humor.
  3. Show good manners.
  4. Be respectful.
  5. Be controversial.
  6. Be sensitive.
  7. Ask her what she wants and likes.
  8. Don’t just tell her you do, but put your trust in her.
  9. Tell her about one time your feelings got hurt.
  10. Kiss her softly, then kiss her passionately.

7 sure-fire ways to repulse a woman

  1. Tell her what you don’t want her to wear.
  2. Look at another woman while talking to her.
  3. Show her that you have no direction in your life.
  4. Be too proud of your qualities.
  5. Drink too much or have a serious addiction.
  6. Insult her style, friends or family.
  7. Use stupid pickup lines like: “Do you want to have sex?” “Can I smell your roses?” “Baby, that’s the sweetest butt I’ve ever seen!” “Hey you, come here!”

The best pickup line:

Observe what she is doing, then walk over and have a conversation about what is going on at that moment. For example, she is in the video store and looking at “The Departed.” You can either ask her about the movie and what she knows about it, or if you saw it you can say, “Loved that movie…” and start the conversation from there. Good luck!