How To Keep The Fire Lit

You are in a long-term relationship, and sex with your partner has become as frequent as a Detroit Lions win. So, what do you do to get the fire burning again?

Here are some ideas and suggestions to help rekindle the fire in your relationship:

1. Go out on a date with your partner and reconnect emotionally with him. Enjoy a night together without the children, without ESPN SportsCenter on, without the Lifetime TV movie of the week playing, and without your BlackBerry next to you. Go out on a date like you did in the beginning of your relationship.

Get all dolled up, put on your favorite perfume, and go out and flirt with your long-time boyfriend or husband.

2. Set up a treasure hunt in which you are the treasure. Most cities have cheaper hotel rates on the weekend, especially in places where a lot of offices are located. Get a babysitter for the kids, and tell your husband that Saturday night you have a surprise for him.

Next, tell him details about where to meet you, for instance “Meet me in the parking lot of Target at 6:00 p.m.” You want to throw him totally off base. When he gets to Target, text him and say “Pick up two bottles of [your favorite bottle of wine]. Further instructions to follow in 20 minutes.” (Note that it doesn’t have to be Target. It can be anywhere that sells your favorite wine). In twenty minutes, text him again and say “Meet me in the lobby of Hotel ____. it’s located at the corner of ____ & _____. Text me when you get to the lobby.”

When he does, text him back and say “Go up to Room ___ and knock 4 times so I’ll know it’s you.” When he gets to the room, you have candles lit everywhere, you are wearing something sexy, you have music playing, you have a bubble bath bubbling, and you’ve got massage oil by the bed.

The night will then be all about pampering each other. The treasure in this treasure hunt is you, and you will be in for some major passion and reconnection.

3. One night a week, set up a pampering night. Take turns so that one week it’s your turn to pamper him, and the next week it’s his turn to pamper you. “Pampering night” can involve an array of different things including a picnic in the bedroom, dating each other, massaging each other, or getting creative again with your sexual desires for each other.

It’s all about spicing it up to keep a relationship fresh and fun. If you desire more tips on how to spice up your relationship, feel free to email me. Just write “mother in need of love” in the subject line. I will be sure to send you some more of my favorite spicy little recipes to get your love life back on track.