andrew luck neckbeard david wygantI remember watching one of the NFL playoff games and being able to count all the guys wearing the thick, hipster neckbeard.

What’s up with that? It seems to be the trend in certain circles.

I think it’s gross. It literally looks like the only thing missing from your neck is balls.

Take a look right now. Look at your crotch. Look at the way your public hair starts right below your belly button. Imagine that on your neck. That’s exactly what these hipsters look like when they have the neckbeard.

If you walk around any of the so-called “hip” cities—Venice, Williamsburg, Chicago, Miami, San Francisco—you’ll find them.

You’ll see a ton of guys, usually very skinny, scrawny guys that have absolutely no build at all, but what they do have is public hair growing down on their neck.

It’s the hipster neck beard that seems to be all the rage right now, the new trend.

But if you ask any woman, not one of them wants to start kissing a man that looks like he’s wearing a vagina below his chin.

They used to say that men who had goatees had vagina envy, but if you look at the new hipster neckbeard, it really looks like they’ve got 70s vagina envy.

hipster with neckbeard david wygantSo what’s up with the hipster neckbeard? Do men have vagina envy? Do they really believe women want to make out with that type of face? Or are they trying to steal the women that have turned to the other side? (A lesbian looking at a man with a vagina underneath his chin might think to herself, “Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t be with a woman now. Maybe I should go back to liking men…”)

This is a trend that needs to stop immediately.

We need to get rid of the hipster neckbeard.