The Best Time to Text a Woman (and What Matters More)

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Do you have any idea what it means if you send a text right at 7:00 PM?

It looks like you’ve been staring at the phone all day long wondering whether or not you’re going to text her. At 6:55 she’s probably just walked in the door. Maybe she’s working late or simply socially anxious. 7:00 tells her you’ve stood there all day long, neurotic, compulsive, and uncomfortable waiting for the “right time” to text her.

Waiting a few minutes doesn’t solve your problem either. It looks like you’ve been staring at the phone all day long and decided to send a text at 7:02 just to seem a little on the cool side. Sending texts shouldn’t be random. 7:14 is one of my favorite times to text.  I like 7:14, because it says, “I got home, got comfortable, and I had a thought about you.”

Sending a text at 5:00, 5:01, makes you a 9:00 to 5:00 texter. You are the guy that stares at his phone all day long and texts her right as she gets off work. What about a text at like 10:33 at night, what does that one mean? Well, I think there’s like a 10:00 text off. I believe that you should not text after 10:00. When you text after 10:00, you come off as needy. It seems like there is nothing else going on in your life.

Texts should only be on the two’s and the four’s, and never on the three’s or the one’s. I like an 8:14 text. Seems like you had dinner, your chilling out, sitting down to watch a movie, and you text right at 8:14. In the middle of the afternoon is another great time to text. Think about sending her a text around 11:14 or 2:14. If you text at 12:14 or 1:14, it looks like you were texting during lunch, and didn’t have anyone to talk to.

If you text at 11:14 or 2:14, it looks like you have a life. Maybe you did your morning meeting. You were able to hang out a little bit, get some work done. So you did an 11:14 text. How about early in the morning text?

Well, she’s going to get up around 7:30. The 8:14 text doesn’t really work out well, because it looks like you’ve obsessed about her for 44 minutes in the morning. I kind of like the 8:44 text. Once again, keeping it on the four, because if you do 8:44, it happens to be a really good text. It’s a great time to text.

Does it really f*cking matter what time you text her?

Does it make any difference at all?

No, it really doesn’t.

You text her because you feel like popping in and saying “Hey.”

Anyway, hopefully this didn’t f*ck with your heads too much. Let’s talk a little bit more about texting. How many times do you stare at that phone when you get the text at the right time. Remember the right time? Forget it. You’re staring at the text and you can’t tell If the message was delivered or not.

You start getting upset. You look at it and wonder how come it didn’t say delivered?

So you push your thumb down, you hit the copy button, and you think to yourself, “there must be something wrong with my iPhone.”

You push paste and hit send, and the message doesn’t get delivered either.  You think to yourself, what’s going on?

You can drive yourself nuts. How about when you’re waiting for a text back from her, and you see the little bubble?

Yes, she’s texting something back!

Then she stops. She’s no longer writing. The bubble disappears. Hours go by. You think to yourself, “What the f*ck happened?  Is she having sex with somebody else?”

“Does she not like me anymore?”

I was getting the bubble treatment. When you least expect it, you hear a ding. And then you run to your phone, and it’s your sister. The next morning comes, and still, no bubble from her. You think to yourself – “What the hell is going on?” 

I got the bubble. The bubble! I got the bubble two minutes after my text. Did she forget?

Sure enough, 24 hours later, you get a text from her.  She tells you she was busy. You think to yourself, “Bullshit.  You weren’t busy.  I got the goddamn f*cking bubble five minutes after.

I saw the f*cking bubble going!  You were writing me! Did you need to think about it and decide I wasn’t worth it?”

Texting is the new way to make us neurotic.

Usually we stare at our phone and go, “Come on, ding. Come on, ding. Come on, ding.”

How about you, do you send a cute picture text like you do on dating sites and it doesn’t deliver.

You send it again, and she texts you, “Jesus, why did you send me four pictures?”

The f*cking thing said it never delivered!

Texting can drive us nuts.

So What Actually Matters When You Text Her?

Here is the real secret after all that talk about the twos and the fours: the time on the clock is not the thing. What matters is the energy behind the text. A woman can feel the difference between a guy who is relaxed and a guy who has been rehearsing one sentence for three hours.

The best texts come from a place of “I was living my life and thought of you,” not “I have been staring at my phone praying you respond.” One is attractive. The other she can smell from a mile away.

So stop engineering the perfect moment and start being a guy with an actual life. When you text from that place, the timing takes care of itself.

The Texting Mistakes That Quietly Kill Attraction

Let me save you some pain. The double text before she has even had a chance to reply. The paragraph so long it needs a table of contents. The “hey” with nothing after it. These are the little things that drain the spark before it starts.

Then there is the big one: using texting to chase reassurance. If every message is secretly asking “do you still like me,” she feels it, and it pushes her away. Texting is for building a little momentum and setting up real life, not for managing your anxiety.

Keep it light, keep it playful, and keep it moving toward an actual date. If you struggle to keep a conversation flowing once she replies, my guide on conversation starters for dating gives you natural ways to keep it going without overthinking every word.

How Often Should You Actually Text Her?

Enough to stay on her radar, not so much that you become her full time pen pal. A good rhythm is a few genuine texts that add something, a laugh, a plan, a thought, rather than a constant stream of updates about your lunch.

The guy who texts all day every day trains her to stop valuing his attention. The guy who texts with intention, then actually asks her out, stands out. Quality over quantity wins every time.

The Point of Texting Is to Get Off Texting

Here is what nobody wants to hear: the whole goal of texting is to stop texting and see her in person. Texting is a bridge, not a destination. The men who fall in love with the bubble are the ones who never actually get the date.

Use texts to create a little warmth and then make the move. Suggest a coffee, a drink, a walk. Real attraction is built face to face, and no perfectly timed 7:14 text will ever replace that. If you want the deeper mindset behind all of this, my guide on authentic dating is where it starts.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best time to text a woman?

There is no magic time on the clock. What matters far more is the energy behind the text. A relaxed message that says you thought of her while living your life beats any perfectly calculated minute. Text when you genuinely feel like it, not when you have overthought it into the ground.

How long should you wait to text her back?

Reply when you naturally see it and want to, rather than playing timing games. Deliberately waiting hours to seem cool usually just kills momentum. Being responsive without being glued to your phone signals confidence and genuine interest, which is far more attractive than strategy.

How often should you text a woman you like?

Text with intention rather than constantly. A few genuine messages that add something, a laugh, a plan, a real thought, beat an all day stream of updates. Texting too much trains her to stop valuing your attention, while texting with purpose and then asking her out stands out.

Why do I get so anxious waiting for a text back?

Because texting turns attention into a waiting game, and the silence feels personal even when it is not. The fix is having a full enough life that her reply is a nice bonus, not the center of your day. When you are not desperate for the ding, the anxiety fades.

Should you double text if she does not reply?

Give her room to respond before piling on another message. A double text before she has even had a chance reads as needy. If real time passes, a single light, genuine follow up is fine. But chasing with multiple texts usually does more harm than good.

What should you actually text her about?

Keep it light, playful, and moving toward meeting in person. Reference something from your conversation, share a genuine thought, or set up a plan. The goal of texting is to build a little momentum and then get off the phone and onto an actual date.