The Exclusive Talk
Exclusive means that you are exclusively with somebody, and you’re no longer dating other people. I get emails all the time from people asking me when the right time is to have the “exclusive talk” with someone they’re dating.
I don’t know why you need to call someone up and say, “Hey Jane. It’s David. Listen, do you want to have the exclusive talk tonight? It would be great and wonderful. It would be so much fun talking about it.”
You know, I have never had the exclusive talk in my life. I’m 47 years old. I’ve had lots of relationships and lived with lots of women, but yet I’ve never had the exclusive talk with any of them.
I have never actually sat down and said to anyone, “You know what? You and I are now exclusively dating.” Maybe that’s because I’ve always had a confident feeling when someone is spending almost every single night with me and is telling me wonderful things about the way they feel. In that situation – and unless they are a magician or from an alternate universe like on the TV show Lost — that they are exclusively seeing me.
I mean, they’re sleeping at my house five or six nights a week. I’m talking to them on the nights they’re not at my house. So unless they’re spending their days with someone else, I know they’re exclusive with me.
Even when I’m first dating someone and I’m seeing them only two or three nights a week, I’m usually texting with them throughout the day so I know they’re dating me. You are talking about relationship stuff, talking about each other, and exploring each other.
I’ve never had the exclusive talk yet. In life, either you vibe with somebody or you don’t. Either you’re going to give them the time or you’re not.
So for those of you who wonder when you should have the exclusive talk, let me ask you a question? Why do need me to tell you when to have it, when you already know and already feel that you’re exclusive with somebody?
Does this make sense to you guys? Let me know.