The Difference Between European and American Women

June 18, 2011 20 Comments Men Uncategorized, Understanding the Opposite Sex

My regular readers know that I travel to Europe a lot. I’m asked this question via email all the time: “What’s the difference between European women and American women?”

Really the difference is not much. I like European women, and I like American women. Sure, there are neurotic American women, there are uptight European women, there are sensual European women, but the bottom line is that people are people.

We were recently in Germany, not exactly the most friendly country in the world, which I thought was actually fine, because it also means that Germans tend to be more direct with you. You can plow through people really quickly in Germany. You get blown off so many times in a day that you get used to it, and you realize very quickly that it doesn’t matter. When you finally do have a great connection with someone, it’s clear and you know it right off the bat. While we were walking around Germany, we talked to some great people, met some really interesting men and women and everything was real.

When we were in London, it was really the same thing. People in London are a little more friendly, a lot more outgoing, and a bit more boisterous and outspoken than in Germany. But the bottom line is that people are people. It doesn’t matter where you are. It doesn’t matter if you’re in the Philippines, doesn’t matter if you’re in Germany, doesn’t matter if you’re in London.

If you desire to meet somebody, it all starts with you. You can go to Germany and say, “You know, Germans are a little bit uptight, a little rigid.” Then guess what? You’re going to use that as your excuse not to talk to people. You’ll say, “The Brits are a little standoffish and a little closed,” just because you’ve heard rumors about that, or you spent a weekend in England in the past not meeting anyone. That will be your excuse not to talk to people while you’re there. You can go to the Philippines and say, “Filipinos are very passive as a culture.” That will be your excuse there.

Whenever I go to another culture, I decide who I’m going to be. I’m going to be who I am, and I’m going to attract people along the way. There are certain types of people I don’t enjoy being around. I don’t like passive people, to me they’re not really fun to hang out with. I don’t like closed, rigid people, I don’t enjoy that. I don’t like hanging out with a bunch of loud and boisterous drinkers. The bottom line is, in always behaving like myself, by communicating who I am and opening myself to the different environments that I’m in, I’m going to attract people who are genuinely attracted to me because I’m attracted to them. That’s what it’s truly about.

I meet and connect with people all over the world. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the Philippines, in London, Germany, or the United States. I will crack through, and I will meet people everywhere I go. There are some countries (just like there are some areas in this country) where people are more friendly than others, but that doesn’t matter. I never allow whatever the prevailing stereotype of that area is to dictate how much fun I’m going to have while I’m there.

I decide. It’s my decision to be who I am and connect with the people I want, just like it’s your decision to do the same. When you’re a great communicator, you can go anywhere in the world, meet people, and have an amazing time and you don’t even need to speak the language.

For those men who decide they want to become better communicators, I’ve got a brand-new, very cool Art of Communication and Seduction Seminar and Workshop that’s happening at four locations across the country this year. Click here to find out more. I suggest that all of you who want to learn to be great communicators should attend.

It’s mainly for men, but even women can attend—I guarantee you will learn A LOT about the way the male brain is wired. This is all about discovering and crafting your own personal set of communication skills and how to attract the opposite sex. It would be fun and beneficial for both sexes to have a few women join in on one of my seminars for men, because it would teach the men a lot too. It would teach the men all about the way women think.

Granted, I’ve got my own women who come, role play, and give priceless feedback on what the guys are projecting in their approach and conversations with them. But man, it would be a lot of fun to have a couple of women there learning how to be master communicators as well, give the men a run for their money and seeing which sex is actually the better communicator.

(Hint: I already know the answer, but it would be fun to expose it even more.)


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Alex says

2012-12-13 22:10:55

agreed John!
Rob says

2011-06-26 16:10:06

I am an Englishman currently studying in Munich, Germany, where I meet a ton of people from all over Europe. Just this weekend I got to know students from Germany, France, Bulgaria, Spain, France, and Slovakia who I'll be seeing again soon after having a great time together. My experience is consistent with David's: a person's nationality doesn't matter. Everybody wants to meet cool new people who are relaxed and fun to be around. When I first arrived I found that people were uninterested or even unfriendly towards me, but now I am meeting so many men and women that I am having trouble choosing between who I want to spend my time with. The people haven't changed, I have: now I'm settled here and have had even just a few months' more experience being a sociable guy (I'm 21), I am much more comfortable in my own skin, and that makes people much more comfortable interacting with me. As for the language barrier, it's interesting. Although I speak decent French and German, I am definitely not as confident conversing in these languages and sometimes that makes me get inside my own head. But, the flipside is that - especially speaking to people in their native language - the fact you're not expressing yourself as easily as you'd like is outweighed by the fact that they'll admire you for trying, and find it cute when you make mistakes. Even if you hardly have a language in common - today I was sat on a coach for six hours with a Slovakian who spoke no English and barely any German - so much of communication is non-verbal that it can hardly matter. If you smile at each other, tap your chest and say where you're from and it turns out they love English / American guys, you're probably going to end up with more fun and chemistry miming to each other than you would if you were two people speaking the same language, having a dry conversation about the news. As for Mara's experience, yes, there are deep cultural differences of which you have to be aware. I find the stereotypical 'loudness' and openness of the Spanish and Italians obnoxious, the directness of Germans rude, and the sense of humour of Bulgarians incompatible with English humour. But these are extreme caricatures of traits, and you go into a conversation with an Italian thinking they're going to be an asshole or a Bulgarian thinking they're going to misunderstand you then you're never going to have a great vibe together. In the real world, people expect people from foreign cultures to be different, and that's why it's fun meeting them. Nice article David. Rob
sunny says

2011-06-22 15:58:47

Hey Joe, You are right. I just come back from Germany and don't know a single german word but I still met lots of interesting people there. Only thing matter is your attitude. TIm, I do recommend bootcamp sooner than later. It has changed my life for a good.
Joe says

2011-06-22 09:00:57

Good lord, there's a lot negativity in these comments. No wonder you followed up with the "poor me" post. I spent 9 months in South America and my overall sentiment is that people: A. want to talk to you because you are foreign B. want to talk to you to practice their English I'm sure in any foreign country you will find plenty of people who will want 1 or both. Hell, a few girls just want to hook up with you because you are foreign. Sidenote Another reason we're lucky to be American: so many people want to learn (and practice) English. DAVID! THE CLICK HERE BUTTON OR LINK ISN'T THERE. How can I find out more about the Seminar & Workshop?
Shogo (Coach) says

2011-06-22 11:02:34

Hey Joe, nice blog. Shoot me an email at, we can set up a phone call and I'll give you some free coaching. I'm at the seminars and I'll tell you all about them and exactly what it is that we do. Cut and paste this link:
Shogo (Coach) says

2011-06-21 15:29:38

Thank you Carlito, I've lived in Asia for a while and women are women, people are people everywhere. It's all in what you believe to be true. If you believe that all Asian women are sexually uptight and only interested in marriage (there's nothing wrong with women like that), then this is exactly the level you will be connecting on in the women that you meet. John, you need to practice getting rid of the horny scumbag mentality. Life is all about connecting and meeting new and interesting people. If you are only talking to women because you're trying to get laid, I suggest you stop this behavior. It might help you meet some people in Cincinnati you can actually go on a date with.
Tim says

2011-06-21 13:52:37

David, I was defiantly thinking about attending a bootcamp, it sounds like a blast. But with that price tag I might have to wait to save up some money. haha :) You see I am a poor college student who works part time, so I will have to start out with the mastery series for right now.
Carlito says

2011-06-20 09:59:54

@Fred, I have lived in Asia all my life and trust me the stereo typical belief about Asian women is absolute BS. Most of them like to have sex even if they are not in a relationship. I'll state countries as example Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia,Vietnam. Philippines, etc. Besides why worry about sex, shouldn't you focus more on communicating and befriending them. Besides, I think all David is saying is that you should not worry too much about the culture when you are communicating and attracting people.
Tom says

2011-06-19 23:09:34

Good god! $2500! Thats some serious money for a bootcamp. For that price, you should come out a Casanova clone just like David. Hell, you should be able to start your own dating school.
David Wygant says

2011-06-19 19:08:54

Hey Tim A bootcamp is 2495. Are you thinking of joining me at one? Let me know and we can set up a time to talk and go over all your goals.
mara says

2011-06-19 13:54:26

I'm Scotish and have lived for years in Spain and i can assure you that there is a deep cultural difference between Scotish, Spanish and American men. They are NOT all the same as their backgrounds are totally different. I'd love an American to stop and chat without necesarily thinking that he is looking to get laid. Between people who communicate verbally and with body talk most people get the message
Wilma says

2011-06-19 08:47:47

While I agree that being a good commuicator works across cultures there certainly are some different cultural norms that take a bit to get used to. I think what does work cross culturally is being genuine. That's what people are attracted to. @Bob - "Globetrotting" is not as expensive as it might seem, look into it and find a way. It's so much more accessible and easier than it's ever been in the past. Go for it, you won't ever regret it.
JJ says

2011-06-19 07:03:28

@ Leanne . I'm from oz. Yes there are quality women, however in Syd the culture is genuinely stuck-up . May sound like an excuse but I would love to be proved wrong!
Bob says

2011-06-18 23:07:21

John, Good one! Hooking up with women while in a foreign country, for a few days is really pointless, anyway. Meeting women is a whole other matter than just being a good comunicator, and making friends in a foreign country though, as I think David is implying here. Not sure David realizes that the average person cannot afford to globe trot around the world, vacationing and gallivanting around, as he does (of course, getting paid to boot) to meet people and be good comunicators in strange countries. So, the blog is really impractical for 99% of us who can't travel around like he does.
Tim says

2011-06-18 22:19:34

how much does a boot camp cost all together?
ZBK says

2011-06-18 22:11:51

Sadly, American women don't know what it is like to be a real woman. All they want in life is a job and a paycheck. So yes, foreigners visiting the US should stay away from American women as much as possible, just as the locals do! Good luck.
john says

2011-06-18 20:39:23

ok,, i'm just throwing this out there. But, If you are an American, and you are visiting,,say,, London,, then WHY BOTHER trying to meet women when you are there ANYWAY. Aren't you just going to come off as some scumbag who is just trying to get laid anyway? I mean, you can't start a relationship with a woman that lives THOUSANDS of miles away, so the only point of trying to meet them is for a one night stand, right?? I've never been lucky enough to get to travel overseas, so I've never tried meeting foreign women, (hell, I can't even meet women in Cincinnati), but doesn't the language barrier become a problem in places like Germany, France, or Japan? Or, is it pretty easy to find people who speak english? How do you say "I'm a horny scumbag" in japaneese anyway?
Leanne says

2011-06-18 20:19:34

There's not that much difference between American and European women. That's why men need to journey to Australia to find good quality stock...! :) ;) :) lol
Fred says

2011-06-18 19:59:47

David, have you ever been to Asia? The girls are very close-minded and traditional. They don't want to have sex usually unless your going to get married or in a serious relationship. What about these types of girls. Is this an excuse too?
JP says

2011-06-18 18:46:34

Great article Dave...and so true. I've been to 35 countries and I've found if you're outgoing and a good communicator, you can rock anywhere. BTW: I'll call you this week to talk about that project we're working on... Best, JP