dating someone beneath youA lot of people date beneath them. Men do it. Women do it. A lot of people do it.

If a man dates beneath him it is called “Big Man Complex”. He wants a woman to look up to him to make him feel like the king, to make him feel powerful, when really an equal can make him feel that, as well.

So, a lot of men will date a woman because they like to be the teacher. They like to date a woman and be the bigger guy. You know, the one that recommends books and things to do, and they’re constantly teaching. They’re constantly trying to bring their experiments, their projects up to his level. A lot of men do that.

A lot of women do the same thing. They meet a man that’s got potential, and they’re trying to get the man to realize his potential. And they become this amazing cheerleader, this great cheerleader so they can be the man to be what she wants, what she imagines him to be.

But it usually doesn’t work because when you’re dating beneath you, you’re not dating somebody who is your equally high vibrational partner. If you’re constantly trying to bring someone up or get them to feel better about themselves, get them to learn about themselves, you’re basically going into a teacher mode. Eventually, either the teacher or the student will get bored.

You see, I’ve been guilty of that. I’ve done that. I’ve suffered from Big Man Complex. So, I’ve done it. But when you date your equal, the two of you will bring out the best in one another. It will be a relationship based on co-creation. You’ll understand one another. You’ll speak the same language as each other, and most importantly, you’ll really start to become the person you always imagined yourself to be.

You see, relationships are amazing when you find someone who is your equal because you can co-create, understand each other, and have a completely safe environment to do so. And that’s what makes a relationship great. You feel safe and secure and able to expose who you are, to know that your partner is not judging, to know that your partner is your partner, somebody who is your equal in so many ways.

So, think about the relationship you are currently in right now. Is it a relationship built on equality? Or is it a relationship based on, well, trying to bring the person to your level?

You see, one thing I’ve learned in life — and one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned — is that you’re never going to change anybody. You’re never going to change anybody. You might see the potential in somebody, but the fact of the matter is they may not see the potential in themselves.

So, you may spend all of these years trying to make them what you always imagined them to be, and they might go along with it for the time being. But it will start to frustrate you because they’ll be all that they can be, whatever that is. Whatever that is, that’s all they can be.

So, the one thing that I’ve really learned over the course of my lifetime on this planet is to fully accept somebody for exactly who they are. If somebody needs my help or wants my help, and they’re really inspired to be helped, I will give it. But I’m no longer going to bring somebody along for the ride, because it’s a ride that they may not want to be on.

It might sound good, because remember when we first meet in a relationship: You meet somebody, it all sounds so great. Man, they’re going to do this for me and they are going to show me this and we’re going to co-create this and all this stuff. But in reality, they may not be ready for that. They may not really want that. They may slip back into being themselves.

And the big question is, do you love them for who they are if they slip back being themselves?

Now, somebody may take down their initiatives. They know that you’re an avid reader and they start reading books. They know that you’re into travel and they start planning trips. Or, they know that you’re into restaurants or they know that you like self-help books, so they start reading things.

That’s a different thing, because that to me is part of co-creating: two people taking the initiative together. But if you’re constantly trying to bring somebody up to your level, then nothing is ever going to work between the two of you. They are going to be involved in this relationship that is definitely more one sided. You’re doing all the work and they are just along for the ride.