Here’s a note to every single person out there that still has their mall Christmas tree in the middle of their living room.
Keeping the tree and the lights up past January 1st is beyond tacky.
The commercialization of America is over. We are done.
There are no more Christmases until well, until next Christmas. It’s time to take it down, you holiday embracing person who’s had the Christmas tree up since Thanksgiving.
I know how much you love the lights and the twinkling and all the trees and the garland and the fake snow and the Santa and the lights, but take it down.
It’s time to move forward.
Look: if you need to embrace holidays, then you know what? Start putting up a cupid for Valentine’s Day.
Then you can find a little short Irishman. Maybe pick up the Lucky Charms box and cut him out and maybe a leprechaun will come to your living room as you decorate for St. Patrick’s Day.
Take that down and put question marks and jokes all around the house and get ready for April Fools Day.
May Day is around the corner. I’m not sure exactly what that is, but I think you take ribbons and tie it around a tree. You can do that in your yard and be festive about May Day.
Cinco de Mayo is coming, so buy yourself a couple of cases of Corona and literally set up a beach in your living room.
Then there’s Memorial Day and the Fourth of July. Hell, for the Fourth of July you can decorate your house with lots of Americana and other great things.
And then there’s Labor Day, which… okay, I have no idea what you can do for Labor Day.
But then you’ve got Halloween. And then of course your favorite time of year, Thanksgiving, where you can decorate Christmas for six weeks all over again.
So don’t worry.
If you don’t want to let the season and the festivities and all of it go just yet, there’s plenty more to come.
But for now, take down the tree.
Take it down. When I go to someone’s house after January 1st and I see the tree up, I literally shutter.
I shutter in so many ways.
Take down the tree. Even the malls are taking it down.
If you don’t want to take it down, have the mall come and take it down for you.
It’s time to move forward. That’s what life is all about.