What Turns Me On About A Man By Sexy Blonde

When David asked me to describe what turns me on and off about a man, I immediately thought of those Playboy centerfolds I used to steal peeks at in my Dad’s bedside drawer. Printed alongside Bambi’s perfect 36C’s and perky airbrushed behind, there was always a list of her turn-ons and pet peeves: “I love waterskiing and puppies and sunshine and hate people who are mean!” While I do concur with Bambi, I’m hoping my list will help guys better understand what women want–and what will make women want you so bad they can’t keep their clothes on.
1. Smell A man’s smell is the most primal force of attraction. If he stinks or has chronically bad breath, no amount of beauty, charm or wealth can save him. But a good-smelling man will literally be begging me to get my tongue out of his armpits. Smelling yummy is rarely about cologne (a splash can be nice, too much and you’ll smell like a used car salesman). I go crazy for soap and water, chlorine or salt from swimming, a fresh sweat from exercise, and even that musky morning after scent. A man who works out, avoids cigarettes and loves to shower will rarely be showering alone.

2. Generosity – Before you jump to conclusions, you skeptical men folk, let me assure you that I’m not talking about diamond tennis bracelets and weekends in the Caribbean (not that there’s anything wrong with them). A generous man is one who gives and who shares. He switches seats with me at the movies so I can see clearly over a toddler’s head while he contends with the fedora-wearing NBA player in front of him. He lets me nibble off his plate. He’s a good tipper. Sometimes I buy dinner, sometimes he buys dinner, but when we’re at the drug store counter, he adds my items to his and pays for them without a thought. He’s showing me what it would be like if we ended up together. And it’s extremely attractive.

The ugly flipside to generosity is cheapness. I once dated a man who didn’t make very much money, so I took pains to find inexpensive activities for us to do together. When I called to invite him to a friend’s dinner party (Free food! Free booze!), he declined due to the current price of gas. That’s cheap. And a total sex killer.

3. Manners – Guys, I know it’s confusing in the post feminist world. Do we or don’t we expect you to open our doors for us? Well, we may not be expecting it, but if you do it, it’s going to get you laid. I had a boyfriend who was a true southern gentleman. Never could I open my own car door or carry a bag heavier than a clutch purse. This man respected me and my equality. He did not believe I belonged barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. He was just raised to demonstrate his respect by treating me like a princess. And I’ll tell you what, it made me want to treat him like a king…in the bedroom.
A man who can fix my car, explain to me the Cuban Missile Crisis or translate for our taxi driver in Mexico is a man I want to sleep with. If you’re handy, well-read, multilingual or simply interested in continually learning and trying new things, it’s a turn on. Let’s face it, I’m a woman in my 30s — if I really dig you, I’m looking at you as a potential father to my children. So if you can help me figure out the difference between the Shiites and the Sunnis, I’m thinking you’ll be the go-to-guy for lessons in shoelace tying and bike riding. And oddly enough…that’s hot.
In my 20s I wanted a bad boy. Now I want a good man who experimented with badness and has since put it behind him. That bit of a past gives him a quality my friends call “edge,” as in “I was going to fix you up with this guy but I’m not sure he’s edgy enough for you.” The edgy guy has dabbled in danger. Maybe he tried some interesting drugs, partook in a forbidden sex act or got arrested for jumping to a friend’s aid in a bar fight. Perhaps before the MBA and the suits he was a ski bum or a bass player. What’s attractive about this package is that the edgy man has nothing more to prove. He sowed his oats. (And bonus: he’s probably not going to judge me for having sown mine.) Having done what he needed to do, I know he’s ready to trade the threesomes for a twosome that will last. And he’ll never run out of good stories.

6. Muscles I Don’t Have – I love men’s bodies because of how different they are from mine. For the same reason you guys love our boobs, we love your muscles. Barring daily testosterone shots, there’s no way I can get that cut just inside the hip that connects the abs to the legs…picture a naked Ken doll if I’m not describing it well. Or the hardness of your shoulder, that’s nice. You don’t have to have a six pack. But if you can lift me up off the ground and make me feel like I weigh 2 pounds, I’ll make it worth your while.

7. PDA – Some women love Public Displays of Affection and some may think it’s tacky. I say it’s a matter of degree. We don’t have to shag in the street. But touching in public can be both a sexual thrill and a wildly romantic gesture, as if to say, “You belong to me and I don’t care who knows it.” Grab my hand when we cross the street. Come up behind me at dinner and kiss my neck. Slow dance with me in a puddle. Aw hell, I’m starting to sound like Bambi.

I could keep listing for days. And that’s because I really like men. Think of that — just by being a man, you’re turning some woman on. Guys, it’s simple: Smell good, walk tall, smile at children and animals, be sweet to her friends and family, be positive and open-minded, show her how you feel (a little ass grab never hurts), keep flexing your brain and your brawn, take good care of her and she will take good care of you…in and out of bed.

Now go forth and turn her on!