When you’re talking to somebody, you need to go over — fully intrigued, and ready for a great conversation.
It can be anyone, not just women. But I’m going to use women as an example because I know a lot of you guys are much more nervous about approaching the female boogey-woman than approaching, say, a business contact who could double your income.
You have to think to yourself, “this is an opportunity right now that I can go have a great conversation with a total stranger, who may or may not change my life.”
The person may have some interesting information for me. This person may give me something that may change my perspective on something.
This human being that I’m about to speak to may just be one of the nicest people that I’ve ever met.
This person I’m about to speak with, may share something with me that will actually help me come up with a decision that I’ve been grappling with.
The list can go and on. But the bottom line is that when you’re going over and talking to somebody, you want to go over and have full on curiosity for who they are as a person. The more curious you are, the more information you get, the more information you get, the more you can connect to this, the more you can actually learn.
Life is all about learning. Every moment, we want to learn something new. The more we learn, the more our brains are engaged. The more interesting life actually becomes.
So when you start small talking somebody, you’re asking them a series of questions usually.
Where you from usually comes out.
What do you do for a living usually comes out.
That’s a cute dog, what it’s name? Whatever it is. Whatever you’re opener might be. You’re literally asking questions to gather information to find something that you can actually connect with somebody.
For instance, a woman recently that she said is in Oncology Research.
Oh cool! that’s interesting.
Oh my god, she’s studying cancer.
Aren’t you curious when someone says that, what inspired them to do that? That’s not exactly the most common career path. So when someone tells you about them, you want to use words like “what inspired you to do that?”
I’m curious, what inspired you to do that? What inspired you to get into that field?
Or, let’s say you’re in Chicago.
And they come from Indiana.
And they said that they don’t like the big city. Well tell me, what do you like about your small town, what is the thing that you like the most about it? Have you ever imagined yourself living in a big city?
So these are ways that you will transition from a conversation… to a great conversation. This is how you pick a conversation starter and go to a real amazing conversation: by literally capitalizing on the words that come out of her mouth. The more you listen, the more you react to it, the greater the conversation, and then you don’t run out of things to talk about.
The reason why you run out of things to talk about is that you’re glossing over the amazing things that somebody is saying. So don’t gloss over anything ever again. Just listen carefully to what they say and react to it, and be intrigued and be curious.