Have any of you downloaded the new iPhone software?

Listen, Apple:

Every time I download new software when the new iPhone comes out, it reminds me of how greedy you all are.

I’ve got an iPhone 7. It’s fully paid off.

My cell phone bill is $50 a month.

I don’t need insurance.

I don’t need a new iPhone. My phone works perfectly fine.

I used to be the person that would update or upgrade my iPhone every single year. I couldn’t wait until September came so I’d be able to get my new iPhone that was literally exactly the same as my old iPhone.

Sure, I was told that there were many new things that were in my iPhone that would help my user experience be far greater.

But in reality…

I didn’t notice any difference. I didn’t notice the pictures being clearer, or the videos being better. As a matter of fact, I didn’t notice any of it at all.

But thanks to some great marketing by Apple, every year I upgraded, and just kept my monthly payment for $31 a month.

But now I feel free.

Free to no longer have a lease. I own my phone, and it’s a great feeling to own my phone, so I’m going to enjoy it.

But for those of you who have upgraded software, you’ll know exactly what little buttons I’m about to talk about right now.

There’s this new feature where, when you are driving, you can’t receive a text.

You know the principle behind it is great. You don’t see the text come across the screen, so you’re not distracted by your phone while you’re driving the car.


People are so obsessed with their phone that they still will look at it in traffic no matter what.

And this is where it gets even more dangerous, because you go to hit the home screen button, and there’s a new thing that comes across where you have to say you’re not driving.

It makes you look down at the phone not only once, but twice.

You need to push the button.

And by pushing the button you’re actually looking down at your phone once again.

Which makes you look at it two times, which makes driving even more dangerous than it already is.

Another glitch is that when I’m at the gym, I’ll go and look at my phone, and I will hit the home screen, and I don’t have to tell them I’m not driving.

Wait a second. I’m lost. Shouldn’t it be I’m not walking?

Should it be that I’m walking with my phone, not that I’m not driving with my phone any more. It should be that I’m walking with my phone.

You understand where I’m coming from with all of this?

The iPhone does this so you constantly need to be upgrading your phone because the new software always seems to not work best with any of the old phones.

But also, the endless cycle of pressing buttons and upgrading keeps you hooked to your iPhone even when you’re trying not to use your iPhone.

We shouldn’t be using our iPhones while driving… but we have to look at our iPhones while driving to not look at our iPhones while driving.

Jesus, I’m getting a headache jus dictating this.

It really is just an endless cycle. And the only way to escape it is to do what I’ve said for years.

We all should really be spending more time staring at each other, and not staring at phones.

And we all should be driving a car staring at the road to protect other people around us.

I can understand what Apple’s trying to do, but you can’t break the habit that they actually created in the first place.

Your iPhone is the problem, not the solution.