Young man following womanToday I want to go over an email.

I want to share it with you because I get emails like this all the time.

So many women seem to be in a dead-end relationships waiting for a man to come around an change hos mind and want them just as bad as they want him.

Does this sound familiar to you?

This is an email I got from Maria:


I am with a man who I enjoy and have feelings for. We see each other once a week or less—it all depends on his crazy life. He tells me that things will calm down soon and he can give me more of his time.

This has been going on for over a year and half now.

What do you think I should do? I am starting to get really depressed by this whole situation.

— Maria

This is a great e-mail to answer.

And I’ve got a really simple solution for you, Maria:


If the man wants to be with you, he’ll be with you.

But he seems like he’s stringing you along.  You’re sex to him.  You’re a hook-up to him.  You’re somebody he wants to see every once in a while—like now.

He doesn’t want a relationship.

When I want a relationship with a woman, I want it.  I wouldn’t string them along.  I’m not one foot in, one foot out; I’m not on the fence.

Whenever, I’ve ever been on the fence in a relationship, it’s because I really didn’t want it.

Sure I would tell you lots of great things.

I would tell you that I want a relationship.

I would tell you that I want something special.

I’d make up excuses about not being ready right now.

I’d make up other excuses about how crazy things are at work and once things calm down I’ll be able to concentrate on what we have.

But in reality, I didn’t want you.

And I know that’s hard to hear, but it’s the truth.

He just doesn’t want you the way you want him.  And he knows it.  He enjoys the little bit of you that he can get, and he enjoys the little bit of him that he can give.

Being depressed and obsessed over a guy that doesn’t want you isn’t healthy.

Obsession is usually not a healthy word.

So stop giving men such a long period of time to walk all over you.  You deserve far better.  You’re a better woman than that.  You deserve a lot better than some guy stringing you along like a Christmas ornament on his sex tree.

Go get a real man and feel the intensity of his desire for you. Then you’ll know when a man really wants you, because it’ll be nothing like you’re feeling now.