how to be the perfect womanWhat makes you the perfect woman to a man?

For me everyone needs to strike the word PERFECT from their vocabulary. I like to call myself the most imperfect, perfect man. So when I take you on a date, I’m looking for you to be the most imperfect, perfect woman. The pursuit of perfection sets us up for a ton of disappointment. A great example is an email I got yesterday which I’m going to read to you now.

“Hey David,

Thanks for all the great advice. I’ve made lots of positive changes since coming across your work, and I really appreciate it. I’ve heard you say many times that as a woman I need to make myself more open, and flirt more when I’m out. I did, and I met a very nice guy that I’m attracted to. He’s also attracted to me and we’ve been talking for about three weeks. I’m in my 40’s and he’s in his 50’s, and we’ve been on a couple of dates already.

We speak on the phone, and text every other day or so. Conversations vary from interesting to sexy. The last conversation we had was about his most recent girlfriend. This conversation shocked me because he described her as the perfect woman for him. Now I’m wondering how I can compete with perfection.

As the conversation continued, I discovered what went wrong was, she wanted children, and he didn’t so they broke up. I don’t want any more children so that’s fine. My question is, should I even put my time into getting to know this guy? How do I find out if he’s over his ex-girlfriend, and if she was so perfect, how will I ever compete?

Thanks so much,

Angela”

Angela…

If this woman was so perfect he’d still be with her regardless whether she wanted children or not.  The problem is he’s using her as a benchmark for everyone else. All you can do is to be amazing. All you can do is be yourself. All you can be is authentic, raw, and honest. You don’t need to impress this guy. You don’t need to compete with the ghosts of girlfriends past.  

All you need to do is keep connecting with him. If you’re just you and he likes what he sees, and keeps coming back for more, then the chances are you’re going to become his next perfect woman. 

Because isn’t that what life is all about? We’re all searching for the one. The thing is, most of us think we already found the one. We’re now looking for the next one, or the next perfect person. I wouldn’t even ask him if he’s over his ex. I wouldn’t even bring up the subject again. Don’t let yourself get caught up with what he said about this woman being perfect for him.

I’d just keep moving forward and see whether his actions meet his words. If he continues to talk, keeps texting, keeps calling, and keeps making you feel wonderful, that’s all you need to know. And remember women everywhere…

You’re already beautiful, amazing, and imperfectly perfect!