It’s The Day After Christmas

All the presents have been unwrapped.

By now the parents have driven you crazy. You look around the house and think to yourself, “Okay . . . now what can I return that I don’t like?”

Well it’s too late to return Mom and Dad. I don’t think there’s any store that will take them back, unless there’s a new store called People Depot, where you can return all the parents and friends you no longer want to have around.

Can you imagine that? The day after Christmas, going in and returning all the people in your life you really have no need for anymore? That would be a really interesting thing to do. Walking into People Depot with a cart stuffed with your mom, your dad, a friend you don’t want to be around anymore (who’s got still some wrapping paper in his hair because you unwrapped the gift halfway and realized you just didn’t want it).

And as you walk up to the register, they scan his foot and go, “Nope this person’s not from this People Depot store. He came from” So now you have to rebox everybody back in the box that they came in.

We can’t return people to stores. That’s from some left over Kris Kringle fantasy for those of you who still believe in Santa Claus.

So what are you going to do today? It is the day after Christmas. Everybody’s out and about, shopping, returning gifts, playing, going to the movies . . .you already know exactly what my advice is.
Get out of the house! Head to all the stores and ask people one simple question. One really easy simple question: “So tell me — was Santa nice to you this year? Did you get everything you wanted? And why on Earth would you think about returning a waffle iron? Waffle irons are so cool.”

So go out, be inquisitive, start conversations, and just have fun with people. First things first: Get out of the house. Have a good time.
It’s the day after Christmas. It’s only five days before the most overrated night of the year — New Year’s Eve! Oh boy. I just love New Year’s Eve.
Five . . .four . . . three . . . two . . . one!! Everybody!

The greatest night of the year, New Year’s Eve. Are you going to have the night that you imagined you’ll have? We’ll talk a little bit about the hype and the reality of New Year’s Eve later in the week.

But for today, get out of the house, go return your parents to People Depot, and go strike up some conversations and see what happens.