You know, I was thinking.
We have this thing we call our “love life.”
And when you think of the word love, what do you think of?
But, if you call it your dating life, what do you think of?
According to a lot of you, on a poll that I did recently, I hear words like frustration.
I hear words terror.
So I want to put a different spin, a different perspective on it. If we walked around and called it our love life, wouldn’t we walk around expecting the fall in love?
Think about it. Our words become our beliefs.
Our beliefs become our actions.
So if we walk around and say, my love life is great….
I’m looking just to fall in love every single day…
I believe in romance, I believe in soul connections, I believe in awesome sex…
Deep, passionate kisses that last for hours…
Instead of dating and staring at each other face to face at a table…
Would your beliefs change? Would your life change?
Why don’t you just think about it as a romantic night with a total stranger? Do something you would do that’s more romantic.
Take a walk. Look at the moon.
Watch the waves on the beach.
Connect. Talk. Be authentic. Be raw. Be vulnerable. Because this is your love life, not your dating life.
Dating seems to be an exchange of information and stories, but hopefully the stories and information will match to give each other another chance.
But when you reframe it as your love life and it’s not so structured as a “dating life,” well then maybe you go out with the idea of falling in love.
I know some of you are doubters and feel negative things about yourselves… so aren’t you setting yourself up for disappointment?
Not at all.
I’d rather fall in love 50 times a year until I finally fall in love with somebody who’s there to stay. I’d rather fall in love in the moment and experience the moment than sit there and swap stories.
I don’t care about what you and your ex did. I care about who you want to be now.
I care about the lessons that you’ve learned and how you’ve embraced your history and made the changes in order to have the love life.
In order to love, you have to have no fear. In order to live, you have to have no fear. In order to be successful in everything you have to have no fear.
Change the word around it.
Call it a love life and not a dating life.
See if it changes your perspective and see if it changes the way that you meet. See if it changes the way you fall in love.