Get Your But Out Of Dating

Collin

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Somewhat related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbGkxcY7YFU

Reply

john

Monday, August 29th, 2011

I want to learn how to say "where's the tuna?" BUT, I don't have $10,000. :)

Reply

Kdar

Monday, August 29th, 2011

ya you are right that fcking but has never done a good for me. NO IF NO BUT = GREAT LIFE ;-)

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Collin That video was really annoying. COuld not get past the first 40 seconds. It annoyed me never got to any point at all.

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@John BUT:) you do have 700 to come to the chicago seminar in 2 weeks:)

Reply

Shogo (Coach)

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@John C, it was great having you there! You definitely took off rolling by Saturday night! Steven, you'll never know if it's going to end badly unless you go out there and put your "butt" on the line. john, that's right it's easier said than done. It's a deeper mindset change that has to take place than just ignoring it and "turning the voices off" inside your head--so I'm glad you're working on yourself and hacking away at it every day!

Reply

Collin

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Hahaha David, weren't you just preaching the necessity of patience in life?

Reply

john

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Lol, I hope so, cause I just totally screwed up "how's the tuna?"

Reply

Steven

Monday, August 29th, 2011

I know, I know, stop saying "But". That's just not realistic. Sometimes I AM too tired to talk to someone or I'm having a bad hair day or they're just plain out of my league. A "But" is like a reality check to keep you in your place and make sure you don't start doing crazy things that might hurt you.

Reply

Mel

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Steven- goin on a long shot here... do you link those out of your league kinds as ones that will hurt you? Reason I ask, I tend to think that & have to fight it. Shogo gave me a great pep talk that no one is out of your league but in your mind. Gotta admit, I've had guys that I wasn't initially attracted to, or honestly didn't know they existed, grab my interest through their personality & words. Perhaps that has happened to you. So, I try to reflect on those instances.

Reply

Shogo (Coach)

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Hey Steven, share with us how you hurt women when you're on a date with them...

Reply

lee

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@steve you are making alot of excuses.. ure actually talking ureself out of talking to her... most atrractive girls even though they dress amazing and look amazing.. dont know there amazing. If you walk away you will never know. if you speak to her you could really connect... if you play safe in life ure going living life ure just existing. Have you invested in davids no excuses product... it takes a good 4-5 listens to really sink in but its the foundation. it has exploded my confident :)

Reply

Jj

Monday, August 29th, 2011

'try' is another one

Reply

Jj

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@ lee. I like that audio series. Whats so inspiring about David, he doesn't just teach or guide like other gurus but he motivates u. Thats what maked him so good for me and changes my mindset. Lol @ but should have said however!

Reply

Kevin

Monday, August 29th, 2011

I wanna jump off the Empire State Building, BUT I'll die. oh wait! David said not eliminate "but" since it's just an excuse not to do something. So, here I go! :)

Reply

John C

Monday, August 29th, 2011

David....great bootcamp over the weekend......Thanks!

Reply

Steven

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Kevin, that's exactly it! For some guys,like me, talking to women is like jumping off the empire state building. It's just going to end badly for everyone. I don't care so much about getting hurt, I've been hurt a lot before and I know I can take it... I just don't want to hurt the other person.

Reply

john

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@steven,,, I know where you're coming from. I'm the same way. I can't even count how many opportunities I've passed on lately, because I can't shut up the "monkey chatter" in my head telling me, "Don't ask for the number, you'll only look stupid", and "she can't possibly be into me", or "I've got NO shot", so , even after a decent conversation, I just say bye, and leave without a number or a date. Happens almost every day. And these guys will tell you to just turn the voice off, but it's easier said than done.

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@John C Can you share with the guys what your biggest takeaway was from the bootcamp. Besides the suntan:)

Reply

Intern Dan

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Steven, You're just putting artificial limits on yourself. Is the risk of getting hurt really so bad that it's not worth going after what you want in life?

Reply

Maryanne

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Love the ass on the golden retriever...hee hee hee

Reply

Steven

Monday, August 29th, 2011

It doesn't take a genius to know that bad things are going to happen. It's insanity to do something over and over and expect different results. I want to KNOW that things will work out before I do it. I don't want to hurt anyone because I was too gung ho and just had to ask a girl out, even though I knew it'd end bad.

Reply

Anti intern Dan

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Intern Dan I disagree with everything in your statement. Putting limits on yourself is a necessary part of life as a man, I mean if every man thought they were actually able to pick up a woman, our world would be full of men who well lets be honest here, thought far to much of themselves and their capabilities. I really think you ought to re-think your choice of careers, cause honestly men should just stay in the kitchen.

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

There ain't no but's for me, when I become the first fully functional unconfident artist/player/heartbreak, except for the butt's of many women I will be feeling on. I will make art until women's(the ones who hurt me) hearts are broken, no if, ands, or buts

Reply

David S.

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Steven is definitely correct on this one. Buts are a necessity of life. They are a sign that you know your limits. You dont have to stay within those limits all the time but its good to know what they are and use them in your life. Everybody is getting on him and saying its so easy to talk to attractive women and they probably dont even know how attractive they are, thats all bs. Every man, woman, and child is different you can't lump most of them into a certain box and think that most believe or behave a certain way. Once in awhile its kool to shoot for a ten because she maybe a ten looks wise but a 0 personality wise and I'm looking for a girl with a 20 not just a 10 in looks.

Reply

Pro Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

to be honest Tom I strongly agree with what u have to say woman deserve to be degraded and pushed to the sidelines of society if its not in the kitchen then well it's not for them. They are selfish, cruel and while (worthless other then for meeting sexual desires)and really don't hold much value in my books.

Reply

Intern Dan

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@ David S. So when is it okay to go outside the fake limits you set for yourself? When is it not? We're not talking about some sort of weird scientific advancement that would use people as batteries to power machines or anything... we're talking about living a rich and fulfilling life. David S. why are you so quick to try and take that away from someone? and Tom, your whole plan is built around the buts you've created and reinforcing them to fit the story about yourself that you're playing out in your head.

Reply

Bobby

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Steven... that's true, but you're generalizing things too much. The things you're doing over and over that aren't working are your methods and mindset with women, not the fact that you're talking to them.

Reply

Steven

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Bobby, I'm just being me. Women aren't responding to me and when they do and when we date it's worse than if they had just gone and rejected me. Because I end up hurting them in the end. And unlike Crazy Tom, I don't want to hurt women. I want to avoid hurting others at all cost. Maybe then they'll stop hurting me.

Reply

Maryanne

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Anti Dan You sound like a woman who is need to getting some action. I have to tell you that if all guys could hit on women no one would ever have trouble getting dates. The world would be a lot more fun!

Reply

Maryanne

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@David S I am a 10 in your book. Come on now with your rating system. You sound like a 6 to me. You should hang out with a bunch of women and hear how we talk about men.

Reply

Maryanne

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Tom You will never be a player. Maybe an anti player.

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Hey Steven Why are women hurting you? Do you think they are doing it intentionally?

Reply

Steven

Monday, August 29th, 2011

No, they aren't doing it intentionally, like I said, I'm not Crazy Tom. It's like I'm cool at first and sure I can get a woman to go out with me but then somewhere down the road, like a month or two in I get blindsided with "I just don't think of you like that anymore." I don't know how I lose them. The first time it stung, by the 4th time I felt like I'd been gutted. The worst part though was seeing how upset she would get having to tell me that she no longer "liked" me. All I wanted was for her to be happy and instead I end up hurting her. I feel so bad when I see how bad they feel when they reject me. They always say "but you're a really great guy." and that just makes it worse. I feel like a monster, making them upset like that.

Reply

Chris D

Monday, August 29th, 2011

"It’s insanity to do something over and over and expect different results." such a cheesy quote

Reply

Sean D

Monday, August 29th, 2011

I had an interesting experience today. I got this girl i met around my college, one whom i was interested in. so a buddy of mine lives in the apartment above hers and i was visiting Aido for the night. i saw her jeep there and i thought she was home. we've been friends for a while. I knocked twice intending to ask her out, she wasn't home. I saw her after that but it felt like the moment slipped and It was like I had no motivation to ask her out this time. what happened there? This was today and I'm kinda exausted from that experience, so I'm sure i'm not explaining myself all the way so if you need clarification about that ask me.

Reply

Sean D

Monday, August 29th, 2011

on to the real reason im posting, and it was something i learned today actually, I origionally wasn't going to even attempt to ask her out today. My friend pretty much encouraged me to go for it. It's kinda the same thing and no but. basicly the phrase he used was, "grow some balls, dude!"

Reply

Chris D

Monday, August 29th, 2011

anyways steven you can feel sorry for yourself all you want, life is a bitch, but you see the thing is unless you stop making excuses for yourself like this girl is out of my league, you will never get anywhere worthwhile and that applies to everything in life. stop making excuses to justify your mediocrity. i also don't agree with david on this one. but can also be a good like "i'm tired to day, but i will still get my workout done or go out". the word that should be erased is "i'can't"

Reply

Paula R

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Fellas, in the last little while I've heard a lot of talk of this whole "ranking system" shit. I feel like its a bad idea to do this, because you'll always been looking for something more. If you feel like your partner is a 7 for looks and a 6.5 for personality, you'll never satisfied unless your partner looks like Beyonce/Chris Hemsworth and has a personality like Mr. Rogers (because nobody hates Mr. Rogers). Why can't you look at someone and see if you're attracted to them or not? Why can't you talk to someone and just decide that they're interesting/funny/whatever or not? You're setting yourself up for an unhappy existence. Aww, Steven. I feel so bad that you're so broken. You aren't hurting women, it's just that no one likes to have the "breakup" conversation. I totally believe that you will someday find someone where it will last longer than that, because unlike certain other commenters, you're not aggressive, cruel or misogynistic. However, you need to realize that you're not hurting them because of who you are and stop apologizing for yourself. I think that you should go look at Intern Dan's posts about being a "good guy", because it sounds like you are absolutely a "nice guy". Breakups happen, and they hurt a lot for both parties, but it is not at all your fault. These women are hurting because they don't want to hurt you and they have to deal with the knowledge that they might. If it says anything, it's just that you ARE a good person and they don't want to hurt you. :)

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Pro Tom "to be honest Tom I strongly agree with what u have to say woman deserve to be degraded and pushed to the sidelines of society if its not in the kitchen then well it’s not for them. They are selfish, cruel and while (worthless other then for meeting sexual desires)and really don’t hold much value in my books." Women aren't selfish or cruel, SHALLOW women are, stop putting words in my mouth troll, and stop copying my name, I don't know if you are john or shogo, but don't put words in my mouth.

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Maryanne "@Tom You will never be a player. Maybe an anti player." Why must you try to kill my confidence? you say we need more confident people in this world, yet you try to strip confidence from others, sorry but you ain't taking my pride down.

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Steven "Bobby, I’m just being me. Women aren’t responding to me and when they do and when we date it’s worse than if they had just gone and rejected me. Because I end up hurting them in the end. And unlike Crazy Tom, I don’t want to hurt women. I want to avoid hurting others at all cost. Maybe then they’ll stop hurting me." Crazy Tom? you say I want to hurt women? no man, I don't want to, and I try not to, it's just fairness that makes me do what I gotta do, whether I like it or not, I don't like to do it, I am the guy who at a party tries to make everyone comfortable and cool, but when people spit in my face, I can't let them just walk away like that. I was raised by my dad(before he died) to not take shit from anyone, and to always make things, fair. "No, they aren’t doing it intentionally, like I said, I’m not Crazy Tom. It’s like I’m cool at first and sure I can get a woman to go out with me but then somewhere down the road, like a month or two in I get blindsided with “I just don’t think of you like that anymore.” I don’t know how I lose them. The first time it stung, by the 4th time I felt like I’d been gutted. The worst part though was seeing how upset she would get having to tell me that she no longer “liked” me. All I wanted was for her to be happy and instead I end up hurting her. I feel so bad when I see how bad they feel when they reject me. They always say “but you’re a really great guy.” and that just makes it worse. I feel like a monster, making them upset like that." See, with some women, they did actually break my heart intentionally, so I had to do something back(not physically harmful by the way, because I am no woman beater, i would never touch a woman like that in my life) in the interest of fairness, I do not do the things I do for fun, it's for fairness. and some woman told you she doesn't like you? I would be happy if a woman told me that, because I've been told way way worse, and sometimes I've even taken it without making it fair, sometimes I let them walk away. have you ever been told that your a ugly worthless person? because I have. I've been to the bottom of the barrel, if a woman told me she didn't like me, then I'd be a happy guy, because no woman was that nice to me. so put your boots on and keep your head up, because what she said was nothing, it could've been way way worse. Also stop bottling up those feelings, or one day you'll implode, I never bottle up my thoughts, if I wanna fight another guy, I will. if I wanna call out a woman about her shallowness, I will.

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Paula D "because unlike certain other commenters, you’re not aggressive, cruel or misogynistic." I believe you are referring to me? I am n misogynistic, I do not hate women. hate is such a strong word. I'm just sick of shallow women's(shallow women only, not all women) shit I have to deal with. it's not only women too, it's guys who like to provoke fights with me or guys who prevent me from talking to that woman, leading me to fight that guy. I am not cruel either, I am fair. funny how you ignore what women have done to me(remember, not all women, because you like to put words in my mouth,I'm only talking about the women who fucked with my emotions), like I'm the bad guy. I didn't cause anything, they did. and I am only aggressive when I fight another guy, I am actually soft spoken with women, I only yell when I get stepped all over on. I mean come on, and you know, I'm not asking for pity,(so don't pity me) but I mean come on, why can't I vent my frustrations after being stepped all over on, I mean what? am I supposed to let them just walk away with what they do to me?(the women who have fucked me over, not all women) Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

And why is it that people think I'm crazy? so because I defend my feelings, by not letting people step on me, that makes me crazy? If someone were to slap you lets say, would you just let them walk away? I know I wouldn't, I would feel ashamed, I would feel cowardly. if someone were to embarrass you in front of everyone, would you cry, or say something back? I would not be happy with myself again if I cried in front of a large group of people, and trust me it's happened before, and I still cannot get over it. call me a nut job all you want, but I'm no monster, I'm just ahead of the curve, I'm so ahead of it that I'm clever enough not to take anyones shit and let them step over me without consequences. and you know, I don't have double standards, if I ever messed with someone, and they gave made things fair by making me face the consequences, then hey, guess what? I deserved it.(but I've never been mean to anyone for no reason, only to make things fair. the only time I messed with someone for no reason was when I was kicking my "girlfriends" boyfriends, but mind you, I was 3 years old) I am artist, and an agent of fairness because life is unfair, and I know that life is what you make it, and what I make it, is fair.

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@David I don't know man, I try to be myself, and people call me crazy. I'm not crazy, it's who I am, people see me as different, and what do people do when they see someone out of the norm? when they see a guy like me, not being a puppet, or robot to society? they say I'm crazy. you cannot be yourself with people, because they are so judgmental. it's like, what should I do? should I change who I am(which would make me sick to my stomach), should I be another puppet/robot to society? to not be considered crazy?

Reply

Steven

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Chris D, you're right, I'm just trying to hide my mediocrity. I'm sorry I bothered you with my post. You seem to have your shit together and I thought if I could just get a piece of that... things would be better. If it's alright with you I'll stick around and try to learn. I don't have to post. I can just read quietly. And Tom, you think you have it so bad... I've definitely got it worse. I mean, you get to live out your life like your hero the Joker. You're going to make hurting shallow women into an art! What can I do? I don't have anything like that. If I could be anything I'd be my Tauren Deathknight in WOW... but I know that I can't be. And I'd rather be rejected outright than always wondering why they say I'm a good guy and then go off and fuck a total asshole! You're the lucky one here Tom, not me.

Reply

Paula R

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Steven, if I could hug you, i would. It really sounds like you need a hug. :( I don't even know what to say. I hope you find happiness and if I prayed, I'd pray for you. (ps. what server? :P)

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Hey Guys If Tom wants to be the Joker and Steven some online warcraft guy. Do you have any idea what character I would be in this?

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@Tom I like this version for you the best.

Reply

David Wygant

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Steven Is this who you want to be?

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

@David Nah, too comical, I find myself more like a Nicholson and Ledger Joker Cesar Romero is still great though.

Reply

Cisqo

Monday, August 29th, 2011

It was an episode in Friends when Ross showed Chandler a girl saying he likes her and Chandler replied 'go talk to her, what can happen?' Ross: 'i could die' :))

Reply

Cisqo

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Hello everyone , my name is Francisc and I'm afraid of girls because they hurt , they are bad and they also bite :))

Reply

Tom

Monday, August 29th, 2011

And I don't want to be The Joker, he's my favorite villian of all time but he's a homicidal maniac, what I do, is express my feelings the way the joker expresses his feelings, I'm a guy who likes to spice things up a bit, and using The joker's style helps. also it's not only the Joker, there's so many artist, who inspired my art. there wouldn't be greats without an inspiration, would Eddie Murphy have become famous without Richard Pryor being a great comedian? no, would Michael Jackson be the king of pop without his father Joe Jackson?(as bad as he was, he was influential, but still abusive) no Same with me, after my father died, I grew up on television, so many heros and villains I looked up to, so many romance movies I cried to while eating ice cream, so many action movies that made my heart race, so many horror movies that gave me nightmares. damn too many inspirations, mostly from tv, but my #1 is my dad, he taught me, fairness.

Reply

Maryanne

Monday, August 29th, 2011

I was a huge Batman fan as a kid, My dad loved the show and we used to watch the reruns together. Makes me really miss him a lot.

Reply

Maryanne

Monday, August 29th, 2011

Tom I just saw your post as I was posting mine yours came up. I guess you and I shared the same experience with our dads. Who knew you had a heart :)

Reply

Thomas

Monday, August 29th, 2011

It's a lot harder than it sounds, I think you just need to be reasonable with yourself. There were times this summer when I'd see a cute girl waiting for the subway and I wanted to go speak too her, rarely did it end up happening. At first, I got pissed off at my approach anxiety but eventually I realized I just didn't feel like being mr.charming early in the morning. On the other hand if your in a situation were there is nothing reasonable holding you back you just gotta go ahead and do it. Don't worry about offending people/looking stupid/feeling like a failure. Approaching itself is a big deal and if you can do that your ahead of 99% guys. The worst thing that can happen is you look like a loser/jerk and you've now become more de-sensitized to the situation (yup....the worst thing that can happen actually benefits you)

Reply

Alan Skinner

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Dating is hard for me for two reasons: One, I battle Social Anxiety Disorder, and Two, most women end up giving me the "friend treatment". I am a nice guy and just have to believe in myself a little more than I do. Having just recently divorced, it's going to take time to rebuild my damaged confidence. I just recently went through a heartbreak on top of the divorce when I asked a girl out and she ended up telling me that "She just didn't feel that way about" me. It hurt a great deal. Also, I would be floored if a girl came up and talked to me. That's never once happened to me in my life. C'mon ladies, I'm a nice guy. Take a chance on me. I know one day I will make someone a very happy woman. I'll get there, but it's going to take time. That's the reality of the situation.

Reply

Intern Dan

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Steven... I can see you're a sweet guy and you've even got some of the women here posting support for you. You seem to have mastered at least the pity part of the "Pity Method". However, that's not going to get you what you want. You need to man up. I know you've been hurt but you can't let it stop you. I get the feeling from what you're saying that you're letting people walk all over you. No one respects a person that allows themselves to be walked on. They feel sorry for them and want to hug them... but they don't want to get naked for them. @Tom: why do you fight?

Reply

Alan Skinner

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

How do you post a pic on here?

Reply

Mel

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@ Jj- Master Yoda says- Do or do not. There is no try ;)

Reply

Shogo (Coach)

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Alan, to get a picture up: go to Gravatar.com and use the same email address that you use to post on the blog. Looking forward to seeing you around the blog!

Reply

Tom

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Intern Dan, I fight with other guys to prove a point, I may not get so much women, and those guys may want to pick on me, but they better learn who they're picking a fight with, because they could make me look like a loser or whatever, but I'll fight them. all in the interest of fairness. I don't have comebacks in talking, and I get anxiety when a guy embarrasses me in front of women. the only way I know how to come back, is to fight. now I may win or lose, but I guarantee one thing, they'll look as hideous as they made me feel. also fighting other guys helps my look with women, they say I'm not masculine, yet I could beat up their so called "masculine guys". that's what I call being a hypocrite. so many fights I've been in because of women, the most violent one was in 2005, this guys girlfriend called me names because she was drunk, so I called her names, then the boyfriend said I was a loser, and embarrassed me in front of my friends. I didn't want to fight, but the way women, my friends, and the whole crowd in general were looking at me, I just had to for the sake of my pride. I will admit I was a little bit high, I told the guy to F himself, then I threw a beer bottle and it hit his leg, everyone was screaming, and he got his own beer bottle, and tried to stab me with it, then everyone started fighting, guys were fighting with bottles left and right, so I got myself a few beer bottles too, whoever came at me was gonna get hit, now I didn't get stabbed, but I did get scratched. one guy threw glass in my face, so I started losing, I was swapping and throwing bottles left and right, trying to get them all off me, it went from me and the boyfriend fighting, to me and my friends against the boyfriends guys, and then the whole party got involved. I saw the boyfriend and popped a bottle on his stomach, yes it hurt him, but I messed up my hand, it was bleeding bad. some guy said he was calling the police, and I didn't care, I kept fighting, however when I heard the police were coming, I tried to run away, but some asshole tried to push me off the 2nd floor balcony, so I fought him off, and decided to throw him off that balcony, but when I heard the police were actually coming, I let the guy go, threw a bottle at him, but the boyfriend and his guys got me, and they hurt me bad, then ran away also when they heard the cops were coming. I had little strength, I was bleeding in my arms, hands, back and face and I couldn't walk right. I took the day off, and went to the hospital because the cuts in my hand weren't closing. I may have lose, badly that night, but I didn't leave without my pride. my friends were guys who still work with me at best buy, those guys are a bad influence, but hey, that's where I work, I need to play the politics to get the paycheck. it's things like that which make me angry, at women, and their boyfriends who try to brag.so many fights have happened, but that was the most violent one, my mother was mad at me for some reason too, I don't know why either, because I was the one who lost the fight, she should've supported me, her son, especially when I fought for the interest of fairness.

Reply

Langknow

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Hey David , you can be Jim raynor from Starcraft , a terran forces rebellion commander going against the confederates , Zerg and Protoss forces. Plus he's a ladies man too . :-)

Reply

Nick the photographer

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Steven your comment "I just want to make them happy" is the key to why your not moving forward with relationships. If I had to guess you're doing 'nice guy' stuff. I'm sure the women on here will tell you that doesn't appeal to them, well the quality women, there are some that will allow a guy to do 'nice guy' stuff but only for so long. To use a quote from a woman in No More Mr Nice Guy "if he won't stand up to me, how do I know he will stand up for me." I think someone else said it "grow sone balls". Be exciting, be a challenge for the women, do unexpected things. Sometimes that means walking away when she expects you to give her that good nite kiss. But be a gentleman, open the car door. You can achieve anything you want, the only limit it self imposed - the "but". Sit down and write down your goals, in all areas of your life. Then look at what you need to do to achieve them. Then the steps you need to take. Then take action. You will be surprised how each small step moves you in the right direction. Be confident in yourself - you will be surprised how women can "see" this and it's instantly attractive to them. No buts...... Everyone have a fantastic day

Reply

john

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@davidwygant,, you can be Tunamaster.

Reply

Occam

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Tom: I posted in another chat that you must carry around a lot of hostility, be really lousy at looking at yourself and your own actions and being honest, and blaming others ("it's all their fault, man!") while you remain pristine and unexamined. I guessed that you had an attitude of "no one disses me and gets away wif dat" . . . while doing nothing to earn respect. You'll only get it by earning it, and you sound like a real piece of work. One that'll do anything *except* work on himself. And boy, you sure need to. You'd apparently rather hide, blame, and "work others over", anything except look at the mess you are and straighten that out.

Reply

John C

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Hey Guys-Internet was down for a day , but obviously the bootcamp experiece is fresh in my mind.......I think the most valuable aspect of bootcamp that I learned is not to force social interactions with women, and to be more relaxed and to let things progress more organically......all you really need to do is share a bit of yourself, listen to what a women has to say, and you may end up with a connection......If not, no big deal......Observe and share moments with people.........

Reply

David Wygant

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Alan Your in the right place. Keep the posts coming and we will build that confidence up again. You and I go back a long way and I always enjoy helping you out!

Reply

Intern Dan

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

Tom, you don't look masculine when you fight, you look like a little boy throwing a tantrum. By all means stand up for yourself, but getting beat up in bar fights is not the way to go about your life. You just need to relax a bit and realize that true power comes from being strong in character in all situations, not just strong enough to fight people. Let their insults roll off your back... remember when someone insults you they're doing it because they feel crappy about themselves.

Reply

Steven

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

I hear that a lot, about manning up and growing balls and all that kind of stuff. I just feel bad because I know that if I stand up for myself I'll have to stop someone from getting what they want. I've learned all my life from school and church that I should give people what they need from me. You know, if they ask for a shirt give them a coat too. Isn't being charitable a good thing?

Reply

Paula R

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Tom: Maybe if you had watched Mr. Rogers as a kid you would have grown up happy. You know, happy, kind to others and loving yourself. Hell, maybe you should watch Mr. Rogers now. We can all learn from Mr. Rogers :) @Steven: It's admirable that you want to be kind to others, but I've found that you have to take care of yourself as well. I've been known to fall into the "selfless" trap in relationships, where I sometimes do things I don't want to and never advocate for what I want.. but overall, that will just make all people involved unhappy. Steven, happiness comes from within. There's a saying that you can never make other people happy without being truly happy yourself, so maybe you should work on your personal happiness and try a little harder to get what YOU want. Even though there are other people in this world, YOU are also important. Try to remember that.

Reply

Tom

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Paula R, I did grow up with mister rogers, loved that show as a child, but I haven't watched it since.

Reply

Tom

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@Dan "Tom, you don’t look masculine when you fight, you look like a little boy throwing a tantrum. By all means stand up for yourself, but getting beat up in bar fights is not the way to go about your life. You just need to relax a bit and realize that true power comes from being strong in character in all situations, not just strong enough to fight people. Let their insults roll off your back… remember when someone insults you they’re doing it because they feel crappy about themselves." Don't you get it? I need to fight, it gets the monkey off my back. that fight I had at a party in 2005 was great, regardless if I got hurt, because I know they got hurt too, so fairness had served it's justice. whenever I fight win or lose, I make sure the other guy is hurt, thus making fairness. the only thing I didn't like about the fight in 2005, is the beer bottles, I only threw it at the guys leg to get the fight started, instead everyone started fighting with beer bottles from the barrels. it's not easy fighting while having a bottle smashed on your head, thrown at you, people trying to stab me with broken bottles, and almost getting thrown off a 2nd floor balcony by a guy you don't know. don't get me wrong, it sucked, but I got away with it, battered and bruised yes, but I won my pride.

Reply

Intern Dan

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

When I was in high school I played football so I could hurt people and get hurt. I only felt "good" when I was covered in bruises. I remember one time I tackled a guy and I felt vertebrae get dislocated. But I knocked the wind out of him, so i won. I still have to go to the chiropractor every week to repair this damage from over 10 years ago. When I was in pain it was like my body felt how I felt on the inside. You know why we like the pain Tom? Because we're so stuck in our heads and the pain is strong enough to get us into the moment. We forget about our troubles. We can live in the moment without pain Tom. It's possible, and so much better.

Reply

Steven

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

I know I'm supposed to be important but I don't want to be conceited or anything like that. I'm not trying to make waves. Don't women want a nice stable guy who they can depend on?

Reply

john

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@steven,, I haven't read this whole thread, but about women looking for a dependable guy. I have seen crackhead bums who will NOT work with hot girlfriends. Did you know that convicted serial killers get boxes filled with marriage requests, and random gifts of money from women? Women dream of dating and marrying, sleep with, and chase, drugged out rock stars that have their Dick in a groupie every night. So no, not ALL women are looking for a great dependable guy, even though logically, they should. Attraction has nothing to do with logic.

Reply

Steven

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@John, should I just give up?

Reply

john

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

@steven,, NO, NEVER GIVE UP. What part of what I posted above even suggested giving up? If anything, what I posted would suggest that women would be looking for you wether you are a "nice stable guy" or not. Like I said, I haven't read the whole thread (still haven't), I was responding to your question about "Don’t women want a nice stable guy who they can depend on?"

Reply

Steven

Tuesday, August 30th, 2011

I'm no rockstar and I'll never treat women the way serial killers and convicts treat women. I'm just trying to be a nice guy. That's all. I don't want to make any waves. When all is said and done I don't want the world to be any different for having me in it. I just don't want to ruin anything.

Reply

Dale

Wednesday, August 31st, 2011

If you stop over thinking simple situations, such as going up to a couple of girls who you want to talk to during the day or at night, you will begin to notice that your in complete control of how you want your life to be like with women. Focus on conversation and not on the outcome! Meet people because thats just what you do rather than thinking to yourself "shes gonna reject me". She will not be able to reject a guy who has an interesting and realistic conversation with her.

Reply

Jing

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Now that is what you call a BUTT. Love it LOL!

Reply

Get Your But Out Of Dating

About David

Recommended for You:

Hope Is For the Terminally Ill

Why P#ssy Isn’t The Holy Grail!

The Power Of Investing In Yourself

Have Patience: What to Do If She Does Not Call Back

82 Comments | Join the Discussion!

Cancel reply

Collin

john

Kdar

David Wygant

David Wygant

Shogo (Coach)

Collin

john

Steven

Mel

Shogo (Coach)

lee

Jj

Jj

Kevin

John C

Steven

john

David Wygant

Intern Dan

Maryanne

Steven

Anti intern Dan

Tom

David S.

Pro Tom

Intern Dan

Bobby

Steven

Maryanne

Maryanne

Maryanne

David Wygant

Steven

Chris D

Sean D

Sean D

Chris D

Paula R

Tom

Tom

Tom

Tom

Tom

Tom

Steven

Paula R

David Wygant

David Wygant

David Wygant

Tom

Cisqo

Cisqo

Tom

Maryanne

Maryanne

Thomas

Alan Skinner

Intern Dan

Alan Skinner

Mel

Shogo (Coach)

Tom

Langknow

Nick the photographer

john

Occam

John C

David Wygant

Intern Dan

Steven