Let’s open up the debate. I’ll tell you my opinion on this, but I want you to tell me yours.

Recently a female client of mine went out on a first date late at night on a Friday night. Now by late I mean that this guy plays softball and they met for a drink at a local bar at 11:00 p.m. after he finished playing. Her friend has a theory about this:

If a woman meets a man for a first date after 8:00 p.m., regardless of what
transpires on the date (and even if nothing physical happens between them),
a man will always view this woman as a “booty call” and will never view
her as possible girlfriend material.

Here’s my answer to that theory. First, on this “late night” first date that my client went on, they were spontaneous – they arranged the date that morning, and they fit it in their schedule because they wanted to see each other immediately. Two, she didn’t sleep with him and she didn’t fondle his wiener. All they did was make out in the parking lot. Three, the guy never called after the date nor did he try to sleep with her that night. He did the “reverse close” by telling her “Wow. I’d love to go back to your place, but it’s only the first date and it’s not a good idea.”

Let’s talk for a minute about the “reverse close.” It’s a method used by men to make having sex the woman’s idea. I teach this, and I use it too because sex is always more amazing when it’s the woman’s idea. If you push her into having sex, sex may be good, but it’s rarely going to be great. So the reverse close is a great technique.

Back to this “late night” date my client went on, and her friend’s theory that going on this date late at night may have been the reason this guy never called my client after the date.

You never know why someone doesn’t call you back. You’ll never know! Stop torturing yourself. The only way you’ll ever know is if you get on the phone with the person and say “Why didn’t you call me back?” Even then, you’ll probably never know since it’s unlikely you would get an honest answer to that question.

For those of you who are obsessed with the post-date recap – you know who you are – all you are doing is mentally torturing yourself. If you want mental torture, go to the movies and watch a Lindsay Lohan movie or, even worse, stay home from work on a beautiful sunny day and watch Dr. Phil all day. Because I’m sure after TiVo-ing seventeen hours of Dr. Phil, Mr. MindFindBind will definitely help you find the perfect match. Dr. Phil, Oprah’s worst invention, is after all an expert…on everything.

If a date goes badly, or somebody doesn’t call back, you will never know the reason why unless you call them on the phone and get a 100% honest answer. So stop torturing your friends and yourself, and start looking for the next date. Or, as I’ve stated above, there’s always a Lindsay Lohan film or a Dr. Phil episode about “why he left me”…