Today I’m going to teach you guys a really great lesson.
It’s the lesson of how to get rid of the first date jitters.
Consider this email I got yesterday:
Can you give me a few ideas for conversation starters on a date? I’m going out with this girl that I really, really like. I think she’s amazing. I met her the other day, we talked for a few minutes and tonight’s our first date.
I’d like her to be my girlfriend, I really want her and I just don’t want to ruin it. Can you give me some help, some tips, some pointers, some conversation starters?
My answer, Joe, is real simple.
You don’t know if you like this girl at all. Too many men do this. They get this vision of the woman inside their head.
You’ve heard of beer goggles? Well I call them dating goggles. A man sees a woman, gets her phone number and immediately thinks that he wants her as a girlfriend. But he’s only looking at her visually, he doesn’t know what she’s all about and he doesn’t want to ruin it because he thinks want her—yet it’s really only a fantasy version of who she really is.
So when you go out on a date with this vision, you don’t want to ruin anything because you want this vision to end up being your girlfriend.
But here’s the deal: you don’t know who she is.
She may have bad breath.
She may have a smelly pussy.
She may be really bad in bed.
She might be a gold digger.
She might be a mean person.
You don’t know who this person is, so get that fantasy out of your head.
So when you’re on that first date, act as if you’re hanging out with a new friend, just getting to know them.
The best first dates are always coffee shops that have some music playing softly in the background.
Or take a walk in the park during the summertime and talk about the beautiful things around you.
Make the first date activity-based, so you always have something to talk about.
Just stop having this fantasy of who she is in your mind and you won’t get nervous and the conversation will flow.
You are the gift.
And when you’re the gift, you don’t give your power away to anybody on a date. Let her get to know you, get to know her and see whether or not she deserves you.