The other night, I was hanging out with my brother and his wife and their son, Nicholas, who happens to be one of the most adorable almost five year olds, or oldest four years olds on record.

Hanging out with them, my friend Brett and Tom Brady (he is Tom Brady’s younger look alike. Don’t worry, it’s an inside joke. Just laugh, chuckle, and feel like you are a part of it)

There was a moment we were all sitting there, and then Nicholas, Esther and Eric all just did a group kiss.

It was that moment that, I think Brett and I realized, in our 55 years on the planet, well, we never really had with our own families. And this goes back to childhood.

I never remember when Dusty and Helene and I were doing a three way kiss, ever.

It didn’t exist in my life. I had the dreams of what a three way could be, ever since I was around 11 or 12, and somebody told me you can have two girls and one guy, so that was my version of a three way (which by the way, after doing two three ways, I never really found them that exciting to begin with anyway).

But I’ve got to tell you, the three way that I witnessed the other night, was a three way that I think everybody needs to witness, and everybody needs to be a part of.

It was beautiful to see the three of them kissing, showing love like that.

In my short 22 month marriage, I never remember a three way kiss with my daughter and her mom.

And in Brett’s marriage, it was the same thing.

It is in those moments where you actually realize what a family really means. Some of us really do come from screwed up, dysfunctional families.

I have an amazingly dysfunctional, screwed up family. Now, I am not blaming my life on my childhood. I am not thinking about how my life could be different. I am not thinking that I would be a different person.

But I’ve got to tell you, it definitely gave me a view of what family was and what family wasn’t.

It also made me not realize, or not think about what a family meant.

But sitting in that moment, Brett and I looked at each other and said…

Yeah, I can have that.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’ve had moments of that with my girl friend and her daughter.

Beautiful moments where the three of us will kiss and hug, and it actually is unbelievably amazing to experience, and powerful to experience.

So I am getting that, and I am realizing what it really means to me as a man, and what it really means to me to feel that way.

Family is whatever you want to define, whatever you want it to be, and however you need it to be.

Some of us like to bicker as a family. Some of us like to sit around all in the family style and watch TV.

And some of us long for the tender, loving moments. The moments that, well, we never realize we wanted. Never realized we can have. And then once we see it, we realize that that’s what we want to experience.

Define what you want in a family, define who you are, and define how you will show up, and watch it happen.