How many women out there these days give up sex way too quickly?

Here’s the deal when it comes down to men and sex, and you need to think of it the way that you think of sex as a woman:

Do you like it when a guy is quick? When he slips right out of his pants, rips your pants off of your ankles, pries your legs open, and basically tries to shove himself inside of you as quickly as possible? You don’t like sex that way, you like sex to be slow. Sure, quickies can be fun, but you need to set a foundation first.

Foreplay, lots of kissing, sensual touching, each piece of clothing hitting the ground slowly. Lots of great oral so you can get off and get warmed up first. That’s how you enjoy sex. A night out with great conversation, intimate hand-holding, followed by great seduction and some incredible, sensual sex.

That’s how you enjoy sex, so why are you giving it up so quickly? So many women give up sex way too fast for the process to be enjoyable at all. They think to themselves, If I sleep with this guy, he’ll come back for more. He’ll want it again. I’ll be able to keep him.

But in reality, the more you tease him, the more you keep him on edge. The more you keep him on edge thinking about you, the greater chance he can develop real feelings for you. Sex really clouds the issue for a lot of men, it really does. It makes a man think only of sex, how he can keep seducing you, or how he can keep trying to turn you on with the sexual talk.

When you’re getting to know a man, you want to stay away from the sexual talk, and you want to stay into the emotional talk. There is no hard rule for when it’s right to sleep together. But my suggestion is to take three weeks. Date somebody for three weeks. Tease him for three weeks. See how quickly he will call back during that time. See if he’s still excited about seeing you. See if he can still turn you on.

Then–and only then–sleep with the guy. Make him wait, hold off on the sex, have that control over yourself and over the direction you’re headed in. It’s fun, it’s empowering, and it will also keep the guy on his toes. As men, we love to be kept on our toes. We love that intrigue. We love the chase. And of course we love the reward.

And if you allow us to chase you a little bit, just a little by not giving it up so quickly, you know what’s going to happen? You actually might land the men that you really want.