I’m reading a book right now, and there is something called the Navaho Forgiveness Ritual. It is a ritual that the Navaho Indians have for preventing woundology from becoming an addictive pattern.
While we certainly recognize the need for people to speaking about their wounds, and have them heard from friends in the entire group, they understood that by speaking about their wounds over, and over, and over again actually gave the wounds power. Especially when done to excess.
When you speak about your wounds in excess, you’re actually giving them more power.
When a person had a wound or a grievance to share, the tribe would actually meet, and the person would bring it to the circle.
The person was allowed to air his wound three times… and three times only.
Everybody listened with empathy and compassion. They didn’t interrupt at all, and they just allowed this person to voice their wounds and grievances.
When someone gives life to wounds and grievance, you want to just keep going over and over again.
On the fourth occasion that the person came back into the circle, everybody turned their backs.
The group all said at once, “enough.”
We don’t want to hear you express your concerns over and over again.
We have heard it, we received it, we have listened to it three times.
Now you need to let it go. We’re not going to hear it again.
This served as an incredible powerful ritual of letting go of pain and false support.
Now, imagine if we did this with our friends.
Imagine if we listen to our friends literally tell us about their wounds, and their victim story three times in a magical circle of forgiveness.
Imagine if we actually told our friends that we have heard enough on the subject, and we told them that it was time to let it go.
Imagine if we told them that the more we give their wounds into the universe, the more power that they’re going to give that energy.
Imagine telling them that you love them, but you’re not going to listen to them anymore.
I know if we did that, you would have a lot of friends who would probably be angry with you. Because if you think about it, how many times have you gone out with friends and played the game of speculation where you literally have talked about the same thing over and over again, and you have speculated exactly what may or may not happen from talking about the wounds. Think about it.
How long has this gone on for? Have some of your friends literally talked about the wounds for years? They’re still living the same victim wound story over and over again.
But the definition of being a true friend is that we truly support each other in the journey of spiritual, emotional, and soul evolution.
I truly believe that we have zero choice in this world to actually take a huge leap of faith, and risk standing up for somebody as a true friend.
What we need to do is draw a line in the sand for those that we love, and do our best to nudge them away from their addiction to the wounds that they have.
You see, when we do that, we’re actually going to transform the victim archetype and actually allow them to remember who they truly are.
Thoughts become beliefs.
Beliefs become outcomes.
When you believe that you’re a victim, when you continually talk about the wounded story, you know what? That is exactly who you become in the universe, and that is the world that you create.
When you create that world, you’re actually creating that world for other people as well. Imagine how that is effecting your children. My mom was a victim, so I learned the victim mentality at young age and I have to fight sometimes to stay out of victim mentality because I learned that valuable lesson from my mother.
Imagine if you have friends that actually took you out of a magical circle and kicked you out of it after the third time.
That is what it is like to be a true friend, and that is the definition of a true friend.