There are many people in my life that I know right now that are repeating relationship patterns over and over again.

And the sad thing about it is that they’re not aware of it at all.

As a matter of fact, they’re 100% clueless. Why?

Because when you hear their relationship stories about their past, about their past husbands or past wives, or their past boyfriends or past girlfriends, they see themselves as a victim.

Instead of embracing the messenger that came with the beautiful lesson that they experienced, they see themselves as a victim.

They miss the entire message altogether. They miss the beauty, they miss why the relationship was given to them.

There is a victim in every relationship story that they’ve ever spun. That’s what explains why so many people today go from marriage to marriage, relationship to relationship, recreating the same the same relationship dynamic each time.

Yet, with a totally different person, is this is the person different? They may look different. They might be taller, shorter, skinnier, curvier.

They may have blonde hair, brown hair.

They may be bald, they may not be bald. They may have a great head of hair.

But each time, they’re literally creating the same dynamic over and over again. Why? Because they did not get the message with the first spouse. So they go onto another one who continues to try to relay the message the last one tried to relay.

And so many people never get that message.

They come at you with a victim story.

They blame everything that went wrong in the last relationship on the other person.

He didn’t want a family.

She cheated on me.

He was just somebody who couldn’t keep up with me.

She did not want to change. I tried so hard to get her to understand.

The excuses are always about blaming.

What I want you to do right now is not to kill the messenger anymore. I want you to stand in front of a mirror.

That’s right, a mirror.

I want you to stand full on in front of a mirror and I want you to point your finger at the mirror.

Just like you would if you were pointing a gun.

How many fingers are pointing at that mirror?

There is one finger that points directly at that mirror, one of them is thumbs up to the sky, and what are the other three fingers doing right now?

You’re right: they’re pointing at you.

Because those three fingers are pointing directly back at you, giving you the greatest lesson in the entire world. And what is that lesson?

Well, if one finger is pointing at somebody else, and one is at the sky, and three are pointing back at you, guess what? The majority always seems to win.

So instead of killing the messenger, start looking within and realize that you’ve had the same relationship over, and over, and over again. And until you grow, and until you learn, and until you take responsibility… Until you stop creating the victim story that’s inside, you’re never going to grow.

Look at the person you’re with right now and tell me if you’ve been a victim in your own life. Tell me honestly if you don’t think the person standing next to you or in next room right now on the other computer, if that person is not the exact same person you were just with.

Harsh reality. Cold hard facts. But it’s time for you to wake up and stop seeing yourself as a victim and start looking at the messengers that come in, and embrace the message.