There is this rumor going around with all of these spiritual books, “Write down what you want, and you will attract it.”

I love that shit. They’re offering you a shortcut! Do you remember that book The Secret? Write yourself a check for a million dollars, and it will just show up!

Not by working at McDonald’s, it won’t! That’s just not how it works.

There is no shortcut in life. You attract who you are, not what you want.

If you want a relationship that is based on love, great sex, confidence – whatever it might be – then you’d better be that person. When you walk over to a woman full of fear, and you see that she’s confident, guess what? She’ll walk away.

And then you will always wonder why you always seem to attract these really timid and scared women. Well, that’s who you are.

You attract who you are. Many people don’t realize that you have to work on yourself first. All of the guys who have come to my bootcamps realize this: the more you work on and embrace yourself, the more you love yourself – the greater the chance that someone else is going to love you back.

If your goal down the road is for a great relationship, then you’d better work on yourself now. You are always going to attract who you are.

Many people look at their past relationships and they don’t take inventory of them. They always place blame – well, I was this way with her, and she was this way. She did this, and I feel bad… bullshit.

The reason why you were a certain way with her is because that’s who you were. You have to take responsibility for everything that you are, and realize that you can attract who you are.

In my current relationship, I attracted me. I’ve attracted me in all of my relationships. I like this version of me that I’ve attracted now more than any other version of me that I’ve ever attracted. And this actually forces me to look deeper inside me and realize that I have to take responsibility for myself.

So it’s not just about writing down what you want – that’s fucking lala-ville. That’s just airy-fairy shit. “I want a big dick” – you can’t just put that shit out into the universe and expect it just to come to you.

You have to BE the big dick! You have to be that person. If you want a hot girlfriend, you have to be a hot guy. If you want a girl that is confident, you’d better be confident! If you want a girl that’s really a sexual dynamo, you’d better be that.

You have to be all these things first. Otherwise you’ll just attract people that will teach you lessons. You have to look back on your lessons, and when you make your list of what you want, make your list of who you want to be.

If you make your list of who you want to be, you’ll attract that person.