crazy womanI got a great email from one of you guys the other day. It’s the kind of warning story I hope will never happen to you, but I’m glad it happened to someone. Now you know what signs to look out for.

With his permission I’m sharing this email with you now:

 1. Look for the Red Flags

 Dear David,

 I met this smoking hot woman on an online dating site.

We texted for days back and forth.  Her texts rambled a bit, but she was so hot I thought a date couldn’t hurt. If only I’d known then what I know now.  Our correspondence continued. She started getting deep, telling me she moves in with guys instantly. I figured she dated dumb guys in the past. Certainly I wasn’t going to be moving in with her right away.

So I asked her out. She wouldn’t stop talking.  She talked in five to ten minute clips. I couldn’t follow anything she said.  We went back to her house, which was kind of run down.  It scared me just a little bit. She didn’t even have living room furniture. It was weird.

We hung out, we smoked some pot, had a little bit of wine.  At 3:00 in the morning, I realized I needed to go home.  I had work the next day. When I told her I had to leave things got really weird. She says, “Well before you leave, tell me what you’re going to teach me

I thought, what do you mean teach me?  It’s 3:00 in the morning; I’m fucking tired. She said, “What are you going to teach me?  I taught you things all night long. You took my energy and I taught you things all night long.  What are you going to teach me? 

I looked at her David, and at that moment, I said, “I’ve got to get out of here.” 

She blocked the door. She wouldn’t let me leave.  She threw her hands up on the door and told me I was interrupting her because I wasn’t telling her what I could teach her.  So I told her I’d tell her in the morning.  She goes, “You stole my energy.”

I finally get out of there and she sends me this text. It’s beyond any text I’ve ever received. I’m forwarding you the actual text in another e-mail.

You took my time, energy, and knowledge freely.  And repeatedly corrected me to say you learned about me.  Nothing from me.  The lack of acknowledgement, let alone reciprocity, became present in full colors.  Instead of being able to hear me and my experience and knowledge, you interrupted me again and again.  You became combative and kept interrupting me.  I don’t understand how we can talk about stuff with intention or bringing new ideas or perspectives to encourage growth all night and yet I didn’t get not one thing back from a successful man like you.  Craziness and disappointed.  

David, what the fuck?

I’m so happy that Jim shared this text and e-mail with all of us.

What the fuck?

She’s nuts, my friend.  And this is what happens.  We get too enamored by a woman’s beauty. We’ve done it generation after generation.  We get so caught up in the way they look and the way they sound and the way they feel we forget to look at who they are.

We tend to ignore the danger, Will Robinson.  Ahhh. Here are a few easy steps to help you determine if a woman is worth taking on a second date.

 2. Look Beyond the Beauty

It’s easy to get wrapped up in a woman’s beauty. Scientifically, after pheromones, we’re first attracted to a woman’s physical features. Kudos to this guy for having the balls to ask out a woman he thought was smoking hot out on a date in the first place.

Think about it, she’s dominating the conversation, talking for 15 minutes at a time. Who wants to be talked to non-stop?

The date you described sounds terrible. You wouldn’t have put up with it even for a minute if you weren’t insanely attracted to her.

Here’s a trick: the next time you go on a date, wait until you’re about an hour in, take her hand as she’s speaking, close your eyes, and just listen. She’ll think this is romantic as hell. It’ll look as if you’re attracted to the sound of her voice and you want to get lost in the sound.

In reality you’ll be attempting to determine how you feel about the person under the skin. If what she’s saying is interesting to you, if you like the way her hand feels in hers ask her out again.

If not, be honest. Let her know sex is on the table but not a relationship. If she’s open to it, great. If not, you’ve had a first date with one smoking hot woman, there’s no reason you can’t get another.

3. Look to Make Sure She’s Into You

For those of you just looking for sex this may not pertain to you, but for those of you looking to start something serious this is a vital step. Re-read the crazy woman’s text.

You took this from me.

You knew what you were doing.

You took my time, energy, and knowledge freely…

This woman is not interested in you. She’s interested in having a partner she can bend to her will. She wants someone to be her boyfriend, she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend. Do you understand the difference?

You could be anyone and she’d treat you just like this because she’s looking for someone to fill a role. A relationship takes two people. If she’s not asking you questions, if she doesn’t seem interested in the answers, if she’s looking at her cell phone every time you open your mouth she has no interest in you. Get out of there as quickly as possible.  

There is a reason why, in life, you need to trust your gut. I’ve met many women who are super hot and I’ve met many women that are super crazy. In life you need to start trusting yourself. If she is super hot and super crazy – run. There will be another one down the road, no reason to try to and make it work with somebody you don’t even like.

That’s truly crazy.