3 Reasons To Avoid Dating Married Men
I must get at least 3 emails a week from women, asking me what they should do about the married man they’re dating. Their problem is always the same. They love the guy more than anything, and he says he loves her, yet still he won’t leave his wife. Have you been in this situation? Are you currently dating a married man?
If you are seeing a married man then this is going to be a big virtual slap across the face. But it’s one you seriously need. Here are 3 reasons you’ll always be “the other woman” and why you’re wasting your life.
1. He doesn’t need to leave his wife – This man gets to sneak over to yours to have mind-blowing sex, then he goes home, has his dinner, and plays with his kids for a while. Why would he want to leave his family for you? He’s in almost the perfect situation.
He has you, the sexy lover who gives him everything he needs sexually, and then he has the wife who cooks, cleans, and looks after him. She gives him everything else he needs as a man. He literally has everything a man needs. He’s just getting those needs met by two separate women.
2. Divorce is complicated – When you get divorced, you open a huge “can of worms.” There’s the legal side of everything to worry about, he’ll lose his home, his children, and he’ll have to deal with the guilt of breaking up his family.
If this sounds like I’m defending married men who cheat, I’m not. I’m just pointing out, divorce is a massive step, and if he thinks he can still see you without having to deal with divorce he will. The chances are he still loves his wife anyway. You’re merely filling in the gaps of what he’s not getting at home.
3. If he loved you, why isn’t he with you? – I need you to ask yourself a question, and think very carefully about your answer. If this guy is so in love with you (and I’m guessing he’s told you he loves you, or at least cares about you) then why hasn’t he left his wife yet?
If he was committed to your relationship, and he thought you were “the one” he’d leave his wife, get divorced, and move in with you. No matter what he’s leaving behind, if he really loved you, he’d be with you. You need to face the facts. If he hasn’t left his wife, it’s because he doesn’t want to leave her.
So what are you going to do?
If you want to know where you really stand with this guy you’re going to have to give him an ultimatum. He needs to decide whether he wants to be with you, or his family. What he’s doing isn’t fair to you or his wife. It’s a tough thing to do, but you need to sit him down and tell him, “I love you. I care about you. I’d love us to be together, but I’m not doing this anymore. I can’t see you again until you’ve left your wife. Call me when you’ve moved out and she knows about us, and then I’ll see you again. Otherwise, this is over.”
Once you’ve shocked him into making a decision you’ll know where you really stand. Does he want you to be his girlfriend, or are you destined to be his “other woman?”
Here’s the thing. The “other woman” never gets her way. You’re never going to win your man. All you’re going to do is waste your life, trying to steal a man that’s never going to be yours. And all the time you’re missing the chance to meet a man of your own. You’re missing the chance to meet a man who’s devoted to you and only you.
If you are dating a married man, you’re not alone. I know a bunch of women who do this, and I’ve told them all the same thing. You need to look at why you’re attracted to these kinds of men? Is it because you like a challenge? You like the idea of trying to win his heart? Or is it because you’re scared of commitment yourself?
Some women date married men because they know there’s little chance of a relationship. No relationship means they won’t get their heart broken.
You need to figure out who you are as a woman, and what you want from a relationship. If I were you, I’d ditch your life as “the other woman.” It’s not fair on you, the wife, the children (if there are any), or the guy himself. Get out of the situation, and go find a man of your own who loves you and only you. Surely you deserve that?