So you’re dating online.
And you put up a picture of you and your girlfriends in Hawaii or Mexico.
In the picture, you’re all in your bikinis, you all have cocktails, and you all look like you’re having a really, really, good time.
It’s an innocent moment in your life, but the guy that’s checking out your profile right now has an idea of you that will be hard to erase.
Party girl.
He looks at that picture of you and doesn’t see someone that he can settle down with; you’re not relationship material—he’s thinking that you’re booty call material.
He’ll probably even send you some type of sexual e-mail of some kind.
If you two go out, he’s going to take you straight to some dive bar and attempt to get as many Long Island Iced Teas in you as humanly possible.
He wants sex, and rightly so.
Ladies, here’s the deal: when you put a picture up of yourself drinking with your friends, you immediately trigger images in a male’s mind. He’s now thinking that all he’s got to do is get a few drinks in you and you’ll be rolling around the sack with him.
I know it’s tough to hear but it’s true.
When it comes to online dating, you never ever want a picture of you and your friends with alcohol in your hands toasting.
Never.
All the images on your online dating profile tell a story to each man that views them. Have you really thought about what story your pictures are telling him?
If you want to meet real men, then you have to appeal to real men. If your profile is nothing but party images then you’re going to attract men that like to party. (And you may want that.)
But just know that the button-down, Oxford-educated man is not going to be sending you messages anytime soon. He’s going to send messages to the sexy woman reading a book on the beach, or cute woman in overalls painting on a giant canvas.
If you’re looking for a solid relationship with a man––not a man-boy––then you have to understand the difference between what appeals to men, and what appeals to boys.
And you can start by adjusting your online profile.
This is so true David. However you portray yourself, is how men will view you and base their opinions.
Men don’t need to see everything on display. They have an imagination.
You just need to place a smiling headshot or two. And that’s it. Nothing more.
When a man likes your smile and what you have written (be classy, sound fun and intelligent, and most of all down to earth).
You want to attract a keeper. Not a man that will disrespect you, use you and move on.
It’s important to stay a lady. I am all for girl power, but you have to understand, that as a female, you don’t need to put it all out there.
Let him chase you, discover you and desire you. It’s a man’s job to come after a woman. They enjoy the chase.
Don’t emasculate them.
SO what do we write *in* the profile? I only get guys interested in me who haven’t read my profile! THe ones who read it, aren’t interested so I’m probably doing something/everything wrong!
Oh and once when I was on the Christian dating site, there was this good guy who was all annoyingly proper clean cut nerdy picture but I felt bad for him thinking he was just too nice and good be good to him so I gave him my e-mail and then he sent me a picture of himself on the beach surrounded by girls in bikinis! I was like, “Uhhhh… not interested anymore!”
I’m wearing all my clothes in my profile pictures and I still seem to attract fellas who want a one night stand.
Same here Confused!!
Re:
You just need to place a smiling headshot or two. And that’s it. Nothing more.
Yeah! I only put a headshot to get rid of those creeps that are only looking for sex but there don’t seem to be any guys looking for anything serious (at least not with me!)
I used to take what they wrote really personally and it would ruin my whole year! and then when I heard what these stupid PUAs tell guys to say, that is exactly what they were telling guys to say!! The stupidest put downs! Every mean thing came from those PUAs!) where guys just want to go around putting down girls online! Or really rude 1st messages like, ‘That’s not really you”, “this is a fake profile”,
AND I put a really bad picture because otherwise I just get either, “you’re hot” and nothing more (and I’m not beautiful, model looks or anything like that! It’s just makeup, unfortunately!) and then the other half of the 1st messages are really mean, hurtful things written to me (like “you look like a man”
“I’m intimidated by you”, etc.
I just look at the beautiful girls online and think, gosh I can’t imagine the type of messages she’s getting!
and the guy who said I look like a man wanted more pictures of me, so I guess he likes men!
I’m not full clothed in my picture but I didn’t take a picture of the part where I’m just wearing lace panties!
Guys have no idea! hee hee
Good advice David. I recently went back on match but did not join as a member. I explicitly wrote in my profile I could not receive emails and try to contact me at (clue). I have received 28 emails in my inbox (obviously the majority of men just look at the pics). Please don’t think I’m being cheap, I was on match for over two years as a paid member but became very disillusioned. I just got back on to test the waters. Seems like the same old recycled men.
@ Caroline,
this online dating thing is very frustrating and I’m becoming angry and bitter……It’s as though the fellas who want a fling are taking advantage of women are looking for a long-term relationship. They feed the lines…
@confused:
Those guys are assholes…. I hope you get relief from this. It must be very frustrating!