Ladies:
I’m going to be up-front with all of you right now.
I love super feminine women.
I love nurturing, compassionate women.
I don’t like ball-busting women that have too much masculine energy, and there are so many feminist ball-busting women out in the world right now.
If you’re one of these hyper-masculine women, I’m talking to you right now.
The reason why you’re alone is because you take your career into the bedroom. You take your career into the dating world and you interrogate the hell out of men when you’re dating them.
That’s the reason why you’re alone.
If you’re a strong-minded, strong-willed woman—I admire you. I’m proud of you where you are and what you’ve accomplished in the work world. I am really proud of you. You bought yourself a condo; you made yourself a career.
Congratulations.
But a lot of women like you really want an alpha male, a strong man, and you don’t know why you can never find one.
Well, let me tell you: A strong masculine man wants a very feminine woman; he wants a woman that makes him feel like the king. We don’t care if you slayed 14 guys in the board room that afternoon. When we come home with, we want those roles to be man to woman—us being the man, and you being the woman.
We want to feel like we’re your king.
We’re not going to feel that if you bust our balls and interrogate us as you do in the office.
That doesn’t work with masculine men. That’s just not sexy.
So for all of you very feminist, masculine women, with the “I can do anything and I don’t need a man attitude”—I know you do. I’ve approached so many of you. I know you want a man. I know you want to feel a strong man wrap his arms around you.
The problem is, the ball busting feminist women only gets wimpy men all the time because the strong man doesn’t want to put up with that. A strong man wants you to be a strong woman during the day and by night, he wants you to be that sensual feminine creature that melts into his strong embrace.
Life is about energy and there is a balance to it all. Two masculine energies can’t coexist in the same space for very long.
So keep that in mind ladies.
Keep that in mind you corporate power suits, you executives slaying the dragon from 9–5.
Retire your armor. Put the shield and the sword away, and you may find the man you’ve always wanted.
My (former, ex, etc) wife refused to accept my role as leader of the relationship and home. She viewed that as rendering her “subserviant”, and as a “door mat”. Her feminist attitude (which by the way she denied carrying) was used as an excuse for destructive behaviour, bullying and apathy for years & years. I am the classic nice guy and was taken advantage of, badly. The final straw was the affair with some casanova schmuck who needs to grow eyes in the back of his head.
Ladies, it boils down to respect. Women want love, men want respect. Someone has to be in charge, that is the natural order. Like it or not, 5000 years of civilization and family structures aren’t going to change in three generations. A chip on the shoulder (due to abusive men who did not adhere to proper biblical standards) must not be a hammer against all men.
As they say here in the south “that dog don’t hunt”.
Woohhooo!! I think this is one of David’s best articles..Really feeling this one..So so true.. Ladies are used to be being very successful at work and using their masculine energy, leading a team, maybe even being the sole provider of their children, working hard, getting what they want..
Its all a balance, when they go home to their man or even dating that is when there should be a switch, to just relax and melt into their feminine energy and learn and just surrender and let go..It really does feel good..to not always be the “doer” We all have natural feminine energy just being women..Alot of times we “forget” or shut this part down..
True, a masculine woman generally doesn’t get as many dates as a feminine woman, but I know plenty of masculine types who do get dates. And here’s the interesting part, a lot of these “masculine” women aren’t feminists at ALL.
Hear me out. I’m originally from an area I fondly refer to “Northern Redneckistan.” The women where I’m from are very traditional, religious, “I’m getting married at 16″ types. I, who is an avowed feminist, used to get my @$$ whupped by these girls who’d confuse my feminism with lesbianism (It didn’t help that I was pro-lesbian too). If they even once saw another girl looking at their “man,” that girl would get her @$$ whupped also and her boyfriend’s balls would be a sling.
When they’d go out with guys, they’d basically look the same as the guys – jeans and a t-shirt and then henpeck the poor suckers all night. “Why aren’t you doing this? Why aren’t you doing that?” Then they’d proceed to pwn the guys at darts or pool. Aw, what charming ladies these non-feminists were.
Most of the managers where I work are women who wouldn’t be where they were if they behaved as crassly as David suggests. They would be called “bitches.” That doesn’t mean they’re all sweetness and light, but they definitely do not act like a stereotypical man. Not only that, these women tend to be very attractive.
As I said, I’m a feminist, yet I have no problem attracting or dating men. Most of the men I have dated, and the man I’m currently seeing are conservative, traditional men who were intrigued with me partly because I was a feminist. I was referred to as a “wild filly.” I go on this site because I often times don’t understand men because they don’t articulate their wants, emotions, etc well. David’s insightful that way.
Yet, it’s not feminism per se that causes pushy, aggressive behavior, but just a sense of “entitlement” to be treated a certain way that causes aggressive behavior. I’m sure there are some feminists that demand “equality,” and then browbeat a guy for taking the lead or making a suggestion. But that’s not equality, that’s treating a man like an inferior. Feminism as correctly seen is reciprocal. Mainly, we want the same shake economically as men.
Most “entitled” pushy behavior I’ve seen come from so-called “ladies” who demand roses because they’re “ladies.” One woman I know put her guy in the doghouse for a week because he didn’t buy her a card because she was feeling down that day.
Not to be ageist (but I am being ageist), men younger than David
I was going to say, men younger than David appear to get it.
You’re waiting for the backlash, aren’t you David?
Gaby, I get the impression that David won’t be intimidated by examples of the very aforementioned women in the article, who might make the futile attempt to shame into submission.
How do you define “strong?” Why is a man who needs a submissive woman called strong? A truly strong man doesn’t need a weak woman to make him feel strong.That’s not strength, that’s ego and a need for it to be fed, which is actually weakness. A strong woman-one who does not hide her vibrant personality, intelligence, wit and everything that makes her glow-does not need a man whose ego she has to keep on a pedestal.
I completely agree with you, I am pretty sure that strong women are not falling for men who want to make them less important to feel strong.
A masculine women is like having another guy friend…:)
Let me ask you this then…how is this something a man can tell before he even approaches?
I am a alpha female at work. Yes. But behind closed doors, I enjoy being led by a strong man, being the soft, feminine woman that I am. Almost like a switch is flipped and I go from Hillary Clinton to Jessica Simpson. It’s a relief.
How can any man know this about me before he even decides to approach?
My family is filled with feminists who rule the family. They’re also extremely feminine, ridiculously so. They just believe, as I do, you can be who you want, where what you want and still be equal, different.
Most of the managers I work for are alpha females who succeed very well romantically.
The women who don’t, are women who are obsessed with the womanly arts – scrapbooking and sewing (not against it – I sew now and then), and romance novels. These girls never meet any men. They do manage to collect a lot of cats. Hmm.
I meant to say “wear” what you want.
I think to be fair, a lot of men are now seeing women as this alpha female at work, or during the day, and are surprised when a woman falls back into that feminine role when in the company of a man she may be attracted to.
I think sometimes guys can misinterpret that shyness and femininity as a lack of interest because they’re so used to seeing this woman go after what she wants at work and during the day, the guy almost expects her to do the same in this situation.
Not sure if everyone is subscribed to David’s newsletters, but this came in my e-mail a couple of days ago, and it is really very insightful and a nice supplement to this post. (Hope its ok posting this here)
As a man I want my woman to be feminine, nurturing, loving and sweet.
I don’t want her to have boobs and a penis.
I want her to smell nice. I want her to dress sexy. I want her to be able to tap into her femininity.
Her femininity means she’s sweet, she listens, she doesn’t battle me on everything we do.
Very masculine women will battle men on everything.
They get off on the battle.They’re very masculine women because they’ve had to always take care of themselves. They’ve got this feeling of me against the world… just like dad taught.
Your dad might have taught you how to survive, but he definitely didn’t teach you how to be feminine and attract men.
We need you to tap into that femininity.
We need you to tap into that on a daily basis.
When we go out on a date with you we don’t want you to challenge us all of the time.
When you constantly contradict and battle us, we see you as a very masculine woman, and that’s not sexy to a masculine man.
Our gender roles are such that a man wants to feel very feminine around a woman. A male wants to be nurtured by a woman. Men basically want a woman, not another dude.
So, if you find yourself going out on a lot of first dates that don’t go anywhere think about the way you conduct yourself on those dates.
Are you conducting yourself as a masculine woman on a business meeting or are you conducting yourself as a feminine woman who is inquisitive about the man that you’re sitting across, the man that you want to get to know?
Food for thought.
Your friend,
David Wygant
Let us not confuse being “weak” passive or submissive with being feminine, for these are not all the same things..
We can be very much in our feminine energy and have strong boundaries. Being feminine is not about being doormat at all..I feminine woman is comfortable in her feminine energy, knows what she wants and what her boundaries are..
Melissa,
Unless he works at the same place you do, He might assume alpha female, other than that, a man will not know from a distance if you are alpha female or want to be lead by a strong man. However, once he gets to know you, then he’ll know which one you are.
Hey did you know that you can be a feminist and also FEMININE? You can love and appreciate men and still believe women deserve equality. Likewise you can be an anti-feminist ball buster ie Anne Coulter. So stop with the stereotypes.
This is quite different for me. When I’m single, I’m the “masculine” type because I feel like I’m the only one taking care of myself and I have to be strong to do so. Whenever I get into a relationship, that changes. I become very feminine and loving and gentle and all that other stuff. I can’t quite explain why is that but I think a man brings out a different facet of my personality.
This isn’t how a real man thinks. First of all, a real man does not impose stereotypes on women or excuse them in himself.
How is a woman supposed to treat a man like a king and like a two year old at the same time. I mean doesn’t this contradict this article? /women/why-men-still-need-diapers/
I thought this was a good article overall. I showed it to my gf, and she felt like David was telling women to have a “split personality” for day and night. I told her I was attracted to her being too feminine, rather than too masculine. David, maybe you would be willing to blog tackle the difficult subject of defining exactly what is feminine and masculine. What are the attitudes/behaviors that attract the opposite sex?
Dear David Wygant,
I think you are a complete idiot.
xoxo
You’re an infant, and you have no goddamn idea what you’re talking about. I’m an extremely masculine woman, if in personality rather than appearance, and I’m very popular with men. Not even feminine men exclusively either. I get asked out and flirted with on a pretty regular basis and I haven’t been single since I was a girl.