RulesRecently I met a woman. To start with I thought things might have gone further, but in the end we’ve become friends. We didn’t become romantic simply because she lives her life by so many rules. Everything is set in stone for her. She likes to do everything her way or no way. Certain things happen on Monday, other things on Tuesday and Wednesday, and if these things don’t happen in the right order she can’t cope.

I asked her, “Are you happy with the way your life is?”

She said, “No. I wish I could be a little more open, and I wish I could enjoy life more. I’m so stressed all the time.”

I looked at her and asked, “Do you think the rules you live by so rigidly still serve you?”

“Well, probably not, but this is all I know.” She admitted.

This is all you know?

That is a cop out and an excuse. You choose to live your life a certain way, and you choose how rigidly you stick to certain rules and regulations. Deep down you want to change these rules. Deep down you want to open up more. And deep down you wish you could relax and enjoy life, but you don’t allow yourself that freedom. Why?

I believe it’s because even though you know the rules you live by don’t serve you anymore, you’re afraid to change. You’re not happy, but you’re comfortable. It feels easier to accept things the way they are, rather than getting out your comfort zone and living a different way. A lot of women I’ve met also have a set of dating rules they restrict themselves with. “I’ll only date men who earn at least 60k. I never kiss until the 3rd date. If he doesn’t have white towels in his bathroom, he’s out of there. And if he likes to see his friends at the weekend I’m not interested.”

Most people live their lives by a set of rules because they’re too afraid to change or break out of that box. They’re scared of exposing themselves. They’d rather be comfortable than happy. My suspicion is that’s what’s happening to you.

When you come outside your comfort zone, you’re going to feel awkward. You’re going to feel nervous. And you’re going to feel insecure. You’re going to feel emotions you don’t normally feel, but it’s OK. What happens next?

You start to break down the old rules and start initiating new habits and new rules. You’ll start introducing new rules into your life that serve you better. That’s when you begin to grow as a person. When you grow as a person life starts to change. Today I want you to look at the rules you live your life by, and ask yourself this question…

Do these rules serve me? Do they help me as a person, and are they allowing me to live the life I desire?

If they’re not, you know what you need to do!