From Rebecca:

David, I have a question in an e-mail you recently sent out. 

I’m following all your tips.  But yet, I’m still not meeting men that want to commit.  I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong.

I wonder if it’s me.  Am I attracting the wrong type of guy?

I seem to only find men that want sex, but none that want to commit.

I’m being a fun date.  I’m doing all the things that I think I’m doing right.  But what exactly am I doing wrong?

Thanks for your help, Becca

Couple Having Arguement At HomeI love these e-mails. First of all, the e-mail said absolutely nothing except the fact that you’re a great date.

Here’s the deal: The reason why you’re getting men that won’t commit is because you are just being a fun date, and you’re not listening to what they say.

Most women are so afraid to ask the man what he wants.  They don’t want to push any envelopes.  They don’t want to ask the tough questions. So they settle at just being fun.

So the man just thinks that he’s with a cool woman that’s not interested in anything deep, just having fun and having sex.

But there are a lot of men out there that want to commit.  You’re just meeting the wrong guys and wasting too much time with them.  Men will tell you exactly what they’re looking for if you ask.

So what you need to do is start paying closer attention to what he’s really saying.

I remember when I was dating somebody years ago, and I told her flat out that I didn’t want a relationship.  I just wanted to enjoy her and the time we spent together.

She felt like she could change me, and three months later we broke up.

You can’t change us.  You can’t make us commit.  Women love to be agents of change.  You love to believe that you can change us.

But you can’t. So don’t try.

Ask him what he wants and find out if the two of you are a good match.

If not, move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea.