How many times have you gone out with your friends and told yourself that you don’t really care if you meet a man that night.
But yet, there are men that are walking in and out of the restaurant; men that you see at the bar, men that you see at tables, and you think to yourself, “Why do these men not approach me?”
Well, do you want to know why they’re not approaching you?
It’s because you’re not approachable.
It’s because of your attitude going in: you’re just there to have a good time with friends, and you don’t care if you meet men.
And that’s a great attitude. That’s the attitude that I always have when I go out with my friends. I don’t care if I meet women; I’m just going to go have a good time.
But I add a little extra to that.
I know that there will be women all around me when I go out, so if a woman crosses my path that I find attractive, I’m going to use this mindset:
She and I are both in the same place at the same time. My job is to engage her in a conversation, to see whether or not there’s any type of attraction. That way, then, she doesn’t become a what-if.
The what-ifs are the men that were potential relationships that never became anything. The what-ifs stick in your mind and ruin a lot of things that we have going on in dating.
So when you’re out and about, instead of thinking what-if, just start visualizing how great it would be to talk to that guy. And when he looks at you the next time, instead of wondering when he’s going to approach, you make yourself approach first.
Or if you don’t have the vagina to do that, do anything you can to make the guy come over and talk to you: smile, wave, say hello if he walks by you.
Make yourself available.
By making yourself available, you’re going to control your own life, and you’re not going to play the what-ifs. You’re going to bring men to you.
You want to go meet a great man—it’s up to you. It’s not up to him to come running over to you. Otherwise, he’d have already been here.
The frustrating part for me is finding places on the weekends that my friends and I can go to that actually have single men there. So many places now seem to full of couples and families, even the bar area if there are tables surrounding it. So when we go out, naturally we no longer expect to see single attractive men. I even polled the guys I’m connected to on Facebook and asked where they would be hanging out if they were single and wanted to meet somebody. Only one guy responded and he didn’t even really have an answer.
I’m totally available…but finding a decent guy who is also available is the challenge.
Pam,
Here is a thought! Try going to sporting events, like football, basketball, hockey, and so on…Guys are not going to consider these places as hangouts to meet women but like David said, we are geeks when it comes to sports!
I went to a pre-season football game and met a gal who was sitting in the same area I was.
Also, experiment…Try going yourself sometime. The gal who I met, her friends had left the area and she remained to talk…lol When the conversation first started, she was basically by herself. I believe you will increase your odds of meeting men if you go alone rather than with a group of friends or if you are with group of friends, then being able to be alone at various times during the event (like going to get something to drink or eat) or afterwards (hangout for a bit as people leave the area), so you are more approachable for men.
Thanks, Mike. I have been to sports bars during football games…sporting events, not so much. I did go to a Paul McCartney concert by myself once and ended up talking to a lovely married couple sitting next to me the whole night. The idea of going to a bar or sporting event by myself is so intimidating, but I’m working on it.
Hanging out by yourself is easy. Men love to approach women who are alone, for most guys it’s nerve wracking enough to even approach, never mind trying to do it and ask you out in front of others.
I have a question re women making themselves approachable. As David teaches, women should smile and make eye contact with men wherever we’re out about. But I’m finding it challenging when men seem to just walk by in their own little world. Aside from tripping guys and forcing them to look up at me from the groung (just kidding) I don’t know what to do. There was one time at the gas station when the guy directly across from me and I were fueling our vehicles and it seemed to take forever. So I was able to at least make a joke that we were getting our money’s worth. I chickened out when it was going well and we were making really good eye contact and he was smiling at me. Any comments/advise/tips?
thank you
Silvia
sorry, I meant looking up from the ground…not groung!