What’s new in your world?

Think about your first reaction to what I just said.

Long time, no see. What’s new and exciting?

What do we usually talk about when someone poses that question to us when we haven’t spoken in a while?

Our first reaction is always work, what we’re working on.

I posed the question to a friend recently who I haven’t seen for a while. Her first reaction, I’ve been working on a few screenplays.

So I started posing the question to a lot of other people.Happy-woman

I sat around one night and reached out to people on Facebook who I haven’t spoken to in a long time.

Every single person responded with something work related.

It got me thinking.

Why do we always start with work related stuff first?

Why don’t we answer with something like this…

What’s new?

I met somebody. It didn’t work out, but it taught me some amazing things.

Or…

I’ve been dating. I haven’t met anybody I really resonate with, but it has been a beautiful experience to open myself up with no outcome in mind.

Or…

Man something my daughter did the other day was so awesome. I really learned so much because I got to see something through her eyes.

Those are some examples. The reason why we always go into default mode with work is because as a society we’ve become disconnected.

We go for small talk instead of deeper talk. We go for surface talk instead of real talk. We do it because we live a fear based existence.

Actually opening up to somebody is something that we have trouble with as a society on the whole.

Why?

Most of the stuff is superficial.

Except for the people who post all these deep things on Facebook, don’t want to get real.

Even if you post something amazing on Facebook, which I do on a regular basis, all you get is a thumbs up. People don’t want to get real.

Being real means you show up. Being real means you need to be vulnerable, and vulnerability scares the shit out of most people.

To be seen, to open up.

So, the next time someone asks you how are you doing, don’t give them the standard, work is going great, working on a project.

Allow them to see you for who you are as a person. Allow them to get into your mindset. Allow them to feel you and connect because that’s why we’re here in the first place, to connect on deeper levels.