screening menIt’s New Year, new rules!

You’re out there dating, and let’s face it, dating can be a challenge. In fact, dating can be seriously frustrating. I know you’re tired of the men that can’t commit. You’re sick of the men that just want to show up for sex. So here are 3 quick tips to help you find love in 2014. These are 3 tips which help you quickly and easily screen the men you date, so you don’t end up with the pretenders, or the perpetual man-boy who never seems to know what he wants.

1. Ask questions, but don’t interview – Asking questions is a great way to find out more about the guy, but don’t turn into David Letterman. Men don’t want a  woman to grill them on a first date, so sitting him down and asking, “So what kind of relationship do you want?” isn’t a good idea.

When you start interviewing men, we tend to cower. Not just that but if you put men under too much pressure to answer questions, you’ll start getting flaky answers. They’ll say what they think you want to hear, rather than telling you the truth. Throw questions in there to get him to open up, but don’t go overboard.

2. Don’t give away too much information too quickly – On a date you might be tempted to start telling the guy your life story. Don’t do it!

Men are like sales people on a date. If they’re players what they want it usually between your legs, and they’ll use whatever dirty tactics they can to get it. So what you must never do is give away too much information about yourself upfront. Why?

Because if you do he’ll start agreeing and mimicking everything you tell him. Make sure you get him talking about himself first. That way you get to know the real him, and not the version that he thinks you want to know. I know it’s hard to resist the temptation to talk about yourself sometimes. The oxytocin is kicking in. You’re starting to get attracted to the guy. Inside you’re busting to shout out how you want to be married with two children within a couple of years. You want to blurt it out because you’re so excited you think you’ve finally met a real man.

Don’t throw your cards on the table too quickly. You’ll give him too much to work with and you won’t know whether you’re getting an authentic version of him. This works for another reason too, and that’s because men don’t like women who do nothing but talk about themselves 24 hours a day 7 days a week!

3. Ask these two questions – There are two questions you should ask a man on a date. The first one is, “Do you see yourself settling down with anyone the future?”

Watch how he reacts. If he’s a player you’ll notice the pitch of his voice goes up a little as he answers. And the chances are he’ll say something like, “Um yeah, sure, at some point I should think.”

He’ll probably move around a little awkwardly too at this point, so watch carefully. He’ll also reflect the question back to you so be ready, and don’t dive into the story of how you can’t wait for a guy to ride off on his wild steed to whisk you away. Tone your answer down some. The second question you should ask is key…

 “What is your ultimate weekend?”

Listen extremely carefully to his answer. Because a man who wants a relationship will tell you he wants to spend it with a woman he loves. He’ll describe hanging out, making breakfast, and all those fun little things couples do. A guy who doesn’t want a relationship will talk more in the singular. He’ll tell you he’d like to get up, go to the gym, do some snowboarding, and then catch a flick or some dinner with his girlfriend.

In other words, he’ll introduce the girlfriend midway through the weekend. He won’t start his weekend with her. If he’s talking like this the chances are he’s just looking to get laid, or have a casual fling. In his mind, you’re just trying to get to know him so he won’t have any problem giving you this information. Just make sure you’re listening to his answer carefully, and remember, if his weekend starts without a significant other in it, he’s not into commitment. If his ultimate weekend starts with his girlfriend, he’s looking for a relationship. This is the guy you want to date again!

These are very subtle techniques, but they tell you a lot about a man’s real intentions on a date. So, enjoy ladies. I’m on your side in 2014. I’ve always been on your side, and now we’re going to find that great man for you in 2014!