It’s February, the month of love. Valentine’s Day is fast approaching.
I was sitting around this morning and I realized something that really hit me like a ton of bricks: we’re all looking for our soulmates out there. Everyday millions of people are going out on dates hoping and praying that they’ve met “the one” or their soulmate. Everyday people are logging into online dating sites hoping that the new e-mail is from their soulmate.
We’ve been doing it wrong for so long. Do you want to know where your soulmate really is? Are you willing to join me on a journey to help you discover your soulmate? If the answer is yes, which I know it is, I want you to do something right now. I want you to go into your bathroom or find the closest mirror. Maybe you’re reading this at work, maybe you’re reading this in the car while you’re driving. (You know that’s not allowed but hey, I’ve seen people do it constantly while living here in Los Angeles.)
Wherever you might are right now, I want you to go find the nearest mirror, and I want you to look at it, and I want you to come back and read the rest of this article.
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Great.
What did you see when you looked in the mirror? I know your answer is probably simply yourself or maybe your eyes or your nose or your hair, or maybe you’re not having a good hair day so you noticed that you need to get a new conditioner. That’s not what I was looking for. I want you to go look in the mirror one more time, and then I want you to come back and read some more.
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Okay. Now what did you see? I’m sure by now you’re confused, and you just want to go and skim down a few lines and see what I’m getting at. Why is he making me looking in the mirror right now? Why is he telling me to look in mirror?
You know why I want you to look in the mirror, because you just saw your soulmate. You just saw the person you’re supposed to be madly in love with. You just saw the person you’re supposed to connect with and honor in all ways. You just saw the person that you’re supposed to nurture and take care of. You just saw the person that you’re supposed to love unconditionally in every way, shape, or form.
You just found your soulmate. Life is all about loving yourself and finding yourself. It’s not about filling in the gaps. It’s not about searching for that potential person that’s going to save you from a life of being alone. It’s about loving yourself. It’s about realizing that the person staring back at you in the mirror is your soulmate. Once you fall madly in love with yourself, once you realize the power of this message, dating is going to become far easier because you’re already satisfied on so many levels.
Think about this for a second: if you would treat your lover with honor, with respect; if you would take your lover out to dinner; if you would go to great events with your lover; if you would travel with your lover—then that’s what you need to do with yourself.
If you do this you’re going to attract your other soulmate. You’re going to attract your other half, another person that loves and honors and respects themselves.
So go back to that mirror, and look at the beautiful person that’s staring back at you, and tell yourself that you finally found your soulmate. Try that attitude change for a bit, and see how it changes your dating life. My book Naked! is all about this, falling in love with yourself, so you’re able to fall in love with others.
What do guys want besides sex, PDA and PDS (public displays of their specialness to everyone lol), a meal, a massage and a clean house lol for Valentine’s Day? They’ll say “nothing” and then hate you for getting them nothing! lol All they do is games and tricks!! There’s no way of knowing what they really want because if you ask them they will say “no” to things they do want and to things they really don’t want!! Ugh!!
What do guys that you’re dating want? (not you personally lol)
LoveForever–as someone who has been practicing the law of attraction for the past few years, I can tell you that what you believe to be true becomes your reality and it will keep showing up in your life again and again. So I would suggest trying to flip the mindset that “all men want to play games and tricks” to “there are good, honest, dateable single men out there who want a committed relationship.” Do it despite what you’ve experienced in the past. As Wayne Dyer says, “when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
BTW, David, I have to thank you for this blog and the posts I’ve been reading the past few weeks, particularly about making eye contact with men and having the guts to go up and talk to them. This past Friday night I approached a man who had been eying and exchanging smiles with me. He was my type physically, too. Too bad he turned out to be a dud and rather forthcoming so quickly (one of the first things he asked me was if I was divorced!) He also took my hand right away and said that I was a beautiful woman which was flattering, but unfortunately the conversation was boring. I excused myself to use the ladies room and said it was nice meeting him.
However, the point was this was a major breakthrough for me. I felt extremely powerful and attractive and I know I can do it again with another guy. So thank you for giving me that confidence!
Pam hun, did you spice up the conversation by spraying him with pepper spray? lol I do! lol One of my brothers friends would always pull off my clothes so one day I sprayed him with pepper spray! lol That’ll teach him! lol (ummm…no it didn’t lol) He was like, “I thought that was hairspray!” lol
Also, thank you Pam Sweetheart for your wisdom! I appreciate it so much!! Love, hugs and kisses! xoxo
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!! David is going to have a Valentine’s Day video this year telling how much he LOVES Valentine’s Day and all of the romantic things that he and every other guy loves! lol
Wow! That worked fast! lol A guy on an online dating site who is like my dream guy put me on his favorites list when I would have never thought that! lol My mom told me not to do “The Secret” (even though she refuses to see it) b/c she’s just a downer! lol So I was afraid to do it!
I thought of this really neat thing to say to guys and what they reply says more than I should probably ever be finding out about someone! lol Plus, when they have said the same thing back to me, I’m like, “wow! That’s like the best thing that you could ever say to someone! That feels incredible!” lol Guys don’t take it the same, though, apparently! lol Some of them get furious! lol Some of them love it and then when I further reveal what I’m saying (which I shouldn’t do! lol), they’re like overwhelmed with happiness but I also just killed all the attraction! lol
LoveForever–see! You do need to keep at it every day and stay consistent and positive, even if you’re having a bad day…that is one thing I learned. I was able to get a gig doing social media marketing work for a really cool company after I put it out there to the universe last year. The most amazing opportunity landed in my lap a few months later and I’m still working for them on the side (they love what I’ve been able to do for their company) and I’m doing it just for the experience because it’s the career direction I want to go into next.
As far as the guy I approached and talked to last weekend, one of the very first things he asked me (within 60 seconds of meeting him) was if I was divorced. I’m not sure why he needed to know that so quickly–I almost felt like he screens women right away and doesn’t waste his time if they don’t give him the right answer. I’ve never been married, so I told him that and when I asked him if he were divorced, he turned his head and mumbled something. It was strange. I think David ought to write (if he hasn’t already) a post about the right and wrong things to ask someone right away…asking about their personal relationship history right off the bat should be a no-no. Mine’s pretty scant anyways (not that I’m ashamed or anything) but personally I think the focus should be on the here and now and not the past.
P.S. It also makes for really boring conversation. Meeting someone and spending a first date with them should be about fun, not interrogation.
So he was a cop! lol Congratulations Pam on that gig! I’m so happy to hear that! You deserve it! I love you!!
You’re a precious good luck sparkly heart charm!
I can’t believe it! Someone really special invited me to be his date to a really special occasion! Yay!!!
My mom said to find someone who’s Christian and I’m dating someone who’s Jewish right now lol and he is just the best!! lol Also, she wants me to be Catholic but since they’re not accepting gays, I switched to Episcopalian! lol Then, 3 of my cousins and my 1/2 sister came out as gay and my mom won’t shut her trap about it!! lol They are soooo happy too!! It’s really beautiful to see that and I wish I could duct tape my mom’s mouth!! lol
I think David gives a lot of good advice, but I would have to disagree with him on this issue. My best friend met her husband when her self-esteem was at its lowest. I think the journey will be different for each person.