Have you ever suffered from the… How long do I have to sit here syndrome?

I’m about to answer one of the most mysterious questions that happens to all of us when we’re dating, why we flake.

First, let’s set the scenario.

In today’s modern world, the majority of people are meeting people through dating apps and online dating.

It feels like there’s this endless amount of texting going on back and forth, but nobody really feels or commits to meeting.

It feels like you’ve got to contact 10 people.

Have text conversations with 10 of them before one sticks.

The reason being is because we’ve all experienced this dreaded feeling when we show up on a date.

The person shows up.

You look at them and they’re good looking.

You’re okay with them.  They look like their pictures.

Then they sit across from you, and within five minutes, the first thought that comes to your mind is:

How long do I have to sit here?

Another thought flashes through your brain:  How am I going to make it through this date?

Another thought comes to your mind: I don’t want to be rude, but are they feeling the same nothingness?

Your mind starts to wander a little bit.  You start to think to yourself, I’d rather be home doing anything but being here.

It’s not that the person is not nice.  It’s not that the person is not attractive.  It’s not any of that.

We know within seconds, literally, when someone walks over, whether or not we feel anything.

It shows just how primal we really are.  It’s a mannerism they may or may not have. May be the way they walk, the way they look at you.

We give them a shot, but within five minutes of the opening conversation, we know whether or not we have that dreaded feeling of:

How long do I need to sit here?flake

And that’s the biggest reason why we have this lack of commitment nowadays in dating.

Because none of us want to go through the how long do I need to sit here feeling.

But the big issue is that the majority of dates that we grab from on the online sites, from Tinder to Hinge, to Match.com to OK Cupid, if you really think about it, no matter how many e-mails that went back and forth, no matter how much texting…

Even if there’s a phone call thrown in, it’s still a blind date with a total stranger.

You don’t know this person.  You haven’t felt their energy in person.  And that is where chemistry is determined.

It’s about seeing somebody, feeling them, getting excited about him or her.

A friend of mine said to me, “can I just be up-front with somebody after five minutes and say hey, I really don’t feel it and I don’t want to waste your time?”

I want to propose that question to all of you.

What if you were sitting opposite someone and they looked at you and they said after five minutes. “I’m not feeling this.  You’re an absolutely wonderful person.  You’re really pretty. But I’m not feeling you at all and I don’t want to waste your time.”

I’d love to see your response down below.  How would you feel if somebody was actually this blunt, this honest with you?

This post could be one of the most intriguing posts we’ve ever had.  To really talk through this awkward moment, because we’re all going through the same thing.  We’re all experiencing this feeling.

How long do I need to sit here? 

If you get more honest with yourself or the people we’re dating, maybe then we’d start to connect more. All dating really is, is a series of these moments that lead to the right moment, and when you get the right moment, you want to hang on for dear life and enjoy the ride.

The perils of dating continue.  The number one reason why people flake is because of this feeling.

That’s the reason why you’re going through so many misses and near-misses when it comes to meeting people online.

It’s a huge numbers game. Chemistry is that thing that just doesn’t happen every day.