I just talked to a client of mine.
She told me something that got my attention.
She ‘hates it when a man tells me that I’m a tease. Or gets angry because I don’t want to have sex with him on the first date.’
I’m still shocked when I hear about certain male behavior.
But that’s why I’m here, to help coach that out of them.
I also tell my lady clients to ignore it.
Because here’s the deal: real men who have sex on a regular basis, real men who understand women don’t ever say that—ever.
The guys that never, ever have sex are the guys that say things like that, and do you know why? It’s because they rarely get the opportunity to have sex so they become hyper-aggressive and emotionally attached.
Like terrible Texas Hold ‘Em players, they just showed their cards.
They basically told you, “Hey, I’m insecure, I rarely ever have sex, I’m not around women often enough, so guess what? God, I cannot believe I’m not going to have sex with you because I won’t have another date for another six months.”
Please, Dude, you really need to start understanding the way women think.
Let the buyer beware, ladies. You better beware of that guy. So the next time a guy looks at you and says, “What do you mean we’re not going to have sex, what do you mean?! You’re such a tease!”
Look at him and say, “What are you a boy, you can’t handle being teased?”
Being teased is great. A real man can appreciate a little teasing. (I say ‘a little because you also want to be careful of over-teasing and pushing him away.)
I love to tease and I love being teased because it’s all part of foreplay. And I know that the more you tease me, the hotter sex is going to be.
Take full control of him. Look directly in his eyes and challenge him, because a real man will never say that. The boy will run away and the real men will stay.
Sometimes it’s necessary to literally pull the man out of him. Or to help dissolve the boyish layers of him so the real man emerges. That’s your power as a woman.
A real powerful woman isn’t afraid of looking a man directly in his eyes and calling him out if necessary or challenging him if necessary. The more often you rise to the occasion, the more powerful you become, and the stronger men you’ll attract.
It’s a beautiful dance this dating thing is.
Pushing, pulling, dipping, swinging—constantly upwards, constantly upwards.
I’m speechless. Really good post David.
Great post!
I have spent the last 10 years cutting back of my assertive behavior because the message I was getting is that only “beta men” will date an assertive women.
I have been lurking for the last couple of months and have posted a couple of times. Your advice is among the few who keep it postive and authentic.
It is begining to give me hope that I can be myself and still have a great love life.
These last couple of years I have started looking forward to being a cranky old lady – well you just killed that dream.
Most guys are visual about things in the sexual realm and have a tendency for believing sex is the most important aspect of relationships. Guys may assume that women are the same way and a communication gap can start there. Most guys probably haven’t heard the wise words of David, that the foreplay starts way before the bedroom with words.
Takeaway I got from your post about being powerful, first step on the road to a loving relationship is self love.
Tina, what are “beta men”? who’s to say what is better for one person than another, what ever floats your boat, go for it.
ohh Beta men are guys who are cowards and have no back bone at all. Some believe that Beta men are attracted to aggresive women (role reversal).
I was married to a man who would not tell me what he thought and was afraid to confront me if he was upset. He would either passively agressively get his frustrations out or drink his problems away. The more passive he got the more aggressive I got and visa versa.
I want a man who is not afraid to tell me what and how he thinks.
My concern is that if I am too assertive confident guys will see that as bossy and pass me over, so I have learned to play it down and redirect it where appropriate.
I think I have been wasting too much time in all the wrong places, there so much garbage I have picked up along the way about relationships.
Time to take out the trash.
Women who are too assertive are a turn off because I feel they are just trying to control me like my mother used to try and do. I stay away from those kinda women. Not gonna date my mother’s shadow.