dating divorced woman david wygantI got an e-mail from a woman the other day.

She wrote to me:

Dear David,

I’m a divorced woman.

My marriage failed.

I’ve been divorced for like three years and I’ve got two kids. Do men find divorced women sexy? 

Let me know.

Thanks. Lisa.

Wow, Lisa, you are stuck in a storm. You’re no longer just a woman—a beautiful, sensual, sexy, fabulous, fantastic, great woman—you are now a divorced woman.

You’ve created a whole story based on this. You’ve created a story based on divorced women not being as sexy to men as regular women are.

It’s amazing the stories we create based on the labels we choose to have for ourselves.

We choose to put labels on ourselves for some reason or another. I don’t know why—probably because society programs us that way.

You ever fill in a credit application? They ask you if your single, married or divorced.

You ever fill in an app at the doctor’s office? Single, married or divorced.

We love to label ourselves. And then we create a story around it. And a lot of women actually identify with that story and it prevents them from finding great men.

Try something like this instead:

“My name is ____________.

I am an incredible, beautiful woman. I’m nurturing; I’m loving; I’m sexy, and any man should be lucky to have me.

I’m willing to work on myself. I’m willing to embrace my faults, work on the things that drive me crazy about myself, willing to grow as a person, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally so that I can be the best version of myself.

When a man meets me, he’s getting the most incredible version of me possible.”

It’s all about creating a positive story.

Divorced women? Yes, sexy.

Single moms? Absolutely sexy.

It’s how you present the story to yourself and it’s how you create your belief system. So don’t consider yourself a divorced woman anymore, consider yourself exactly what you want to be.

And have fun.