Six Ways to Flirt This Summer

By Amy Keyishian

Warm weather brings tons of opportunities to meet someone new. Here, a look at some simple ways to break the ice.

Head outdoors where it’s easy to mingle
Let’s face it: You don’t meet many flirt-worthy prospects hanging out at home or staying glued to your work. So now that the warm weather’s arrived, take your lunch to the local park, open-air café, or any other area that’s milling with potential love connections. “Ask if you can share a spot of shade or a bench,” suggests Bonnie Jacobson, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and author of ‘The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater.’ What to talk about? Your lunch is a fine place to start. “If you brown-bag it, make fun of your tuna-fish habit: ‘I wish I were more imaginative than this at eight o’clock in the morning.’ Inquire as to the other person’s preference for a triangle-cut or rectangular-cut sandwich. That’s a flirt, people.”

Skip the beach-blanket bingo
Sand + surf = sexy … If you’re not flirting up a storm during your seaside jaunts, it’s high time to rethink what you do while you’re there. Do you park yourself on a towel surrounded by friends and a stack of magazines? No wonder you’re not racking up phone numbers. Instead, “Stand at the water’s edge and stick your toes in,” suggests David Wygant, flirt coach and author of ‘Always Talk to Strangers: 3 Simple Steps to Finding the Love of Your Life.’ “There are bound to be others doing the same thing. Ask, ‘Is it really cold? How bad is it?’ You’re up, you’re engaged in something, and that’s an automatic conversation-starter.” Likewise, cheering on the participants in a nearby volleyball or soccer game may get you recruited to play; pack a Frisbee and you’ll always have an excuse to snag some cute stranger for a little back-and-forth.

Stop and smell the roses
“When you're about to chat with someone you want to connect with, stop for a moment, breathe in deeply, and take notice of the fragrances around you,” says Jacobson. The scents of summer, she says, are uniquely connected to childhood memories of being carefree. “If you allow those aromas to give you a natural endorphin boost, you’ll be more open and ready for some flirtation,” she explains. Calling attention to it, by saying “Mmm, finally, the smell of the ocean,” or “Oh, I love the scent of fresh-cut grass, don’t you?” can serve as a ready-made opening line – and since you’re asking someone to tune into a sensory experience, it’ll feel way sexier than asking what the time is.

Find an excuse to throw a party
Flirtatious banter goes hand-in-hand with any social gathering, and don’t think that July 4th is your last chance ’til Labor Day to get people together. Keep in mind, summer produce is at its best now, and can serve as a yummy excuse to celebrate. Are the peaches just perfect at the local farmer’s market? Throw a peach sangria soirée, or if you’ve got access to a barbecue, throw a create-your-own-kebab bash. Food prep makes it easy to draw someone in: “I need a sous chef, can you slice these peppers?” “Taste this margarita mix – too strong? Not strong enough?” Never underestimate what warm-and-fuzzy feelings can get cooking in the kitchen, says Jacobson. “It’s the way our grandmothers flirted,” points out Jacobson, “and it still works today.”

Take note of your summer wardrobe
It’s no news flash that the clothes you wear can send a come-hither signal to others. This summer, show some skin subtly. Doing so says, “Approach, please.” Go ahead and be that gal in the café wearing a sundress or the guy in cargo shorts and sandals at the local beer garden. You’ll be sending out flirt vibes, showing that you’re relaxed and comfortable in your own skin. If you happen to be a bit bashful about your bod, there are other ways to flirt with fashion: Bright, summery colors like yellow, tangerine, or lime green will instantly make you stand out from the crowd. Or, use other people’s fashion statements as a way to flirt. For instance, T-shirts with eye-catching logos or phrases are just begging for commentary. Try something like, “So, you’re a Red Hot Chili Peppers fan, too. I saw them on tour a few years ago.”

Flex your flirt muscle 24/7
“My number-one rule of flirting is, don’t save it for the ones you really like,” says Wygant. “If you do that, you’ll choke when the big moment comes. Now that the weather’s turning warm and you’re spending more time at barbecues and outdoor venues, chat up everyone you see, even if you’re not looking to hang out or hook up. It keeps you poised and ready to spring when your dream date comes along.” Some prime places to get a mini-workout: Waiting in line (“Hey, is that flavor of ice cream good? I’ve never tried it”) or whenever you need directions (“Excuse me, do you know where the closest internet café is? You look as if you might know”).

Amy Keyishian is a New York-based freelance writer. Her favorite flirt tactic was walking around with her parrot on her shoulder, till she realized that only meant she met a lot of fascinated five-year-olds.