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02/09/2006
The Scranton Times
By: Alicia Grega-Pikul
Celebrity dating doctor shares do’s and don’ts
The day a crew of wealthy men followed David Wygant to a grocery store to watch him flirt, he realized he was on to something. People were willing to pay cash for the social charm that just came naturally to him. He could make a living sharing the secrets of his own success. Wygant’s media-friendly persona has landed him multiple TV appearances and print interviews. Last spring he co-authored a book titled Always Talk to Strangers, and this spring he will release a series of short eBooks and mp3 trainers addressing specific concerns (e.g. How to score the best-looking girl on campus) or targeting specific demographic groups (e.g. single mothers). He’s coached millionaire and celebrity clients one on one and reached out to thousands of ordinary people in the past eight years. And on Tuesday, the dating doctor will continue his college circuit tour at Penn State University’s Worthington Scranton campus with a free presentation of his dating seminar “What’s Your Excuse?” If you don’t have a better place to be on Valentine’s Day, you may want to swallow your pride and pick up a couple pointers.
What are your millionaire clients looking for?
I just market them to the opposite sex so it all depends on how far advanced they are. Some of them I’ve actually gone out and found wives. Some of them I’ve set up on romance tours. Some of them I’ve set up on “James Bond Adventures,” where they’ve been set up with 200 women who are looking to meet a great American man in a foreign country. I’ve set up speed-dating events just for one client. We went to the Ukraine – he wanted to meet Eastern European women – and he met 65 women over three days. I’ve done crazy stuff. We went down to Colombia with another client. He always wanted to party with beautiful Spanish women so we went to Cartagena, which is such an incredible gorgeous little city in Colombia – I mean, safe, on the water, beautiful. I rented an entire restaurant, hired three translators. It was 25 women. We brought them gifts. Everybody in town saw the party going on but nobody could get in because it was a private party. For the remainder of the week there, every woman that saw him said, “That’s that rich American guy,” and they all fought over him in nightclubs. What I do is ask a client what they want. What are their goals? What are the most outrageous things that they want to do? And a lot of them come up with outrageous things so I try to basically use my creativity to make it happen.
Is the dating seminar at Penn State specifically for college students?
It’s for anybody who’s single. Because the majority will be college students, I do speak in 18-to-22 lingo. But I bring people up on stage and I really get them to overcome all their fears and excuses. I show them how simple it is to really go up and talk to the opposite sex. I’m in constant banter with the audience. I do what I call “debunking the myth”. I bring the audience in by saying, “Hey, what girls in here really like when a guy acts like an ass?” Because you read in the magazines that guys should act like an ass and girls are going to come running. “Who’s going to come running to guy who treats you like garbage?” And they all raise their hand. “No way, man. I would never talk to him.” So they find out not only through me how to approach, but really through the people in the audience, too, how they want to be approached,which is really interesting because they get to understand what the opposite sex thinks.
So you get people talking to each other?
Oh, yeah. I’ve got three chairs facing each other and we’ve got a battle of the sexes going on, too. It’s a lot of fun. Certain crowds are more alive than others. I’m going to presume Penn State’s going to be a blast.
We are really fast to make excuses.
It’s immediate. I talk about the Scooby Doo-ism of guys. Girls are so ridiculous. They control every aspect of dating and meeting but yet they always play victims. It’s wild. How can they play the victim over and over again when all they have to do is look at a guy three times and he comes running over like a giant dog?
Obviously looks do count.
No. Not really. Because there’s somebody for everybody. Guys are visual and it shows by the magazines they read, right? While girls are really looking for a guy with confidence.
Sounds easier for the guys.
Well, no. It’s easier for the girls to really hand pick. Guys are all about the conquest. They’re all about, “Woo-hoo, I met her. She’s so hot.” She’s so hot because the guy met her. Here’s the scoop, right. I’ve worked with a lot of guys. They’ll pick out someone that they think is really hot and of course you know they can’t possibly get that type of person. But then I teach them the skills – how to meet, pick up and do what I call the conquest. Then they end up with somebody and they talk like she’s hottest thing in the entire world. And she’s nothing what that magazine girl looked like. It’s all because they were able to go and complete the deal. Guys love feeling like the big man.
You say it’s OK to practice – to flirt even if you’re not all that interested.
Isn’t that misleading? No. Not at all. You need to practice for the big game or you’re going to choke. It’s like the Super Bowl when you find someone you’re attracted to – if you’ve had absolutely zero practice flirting and you think you’re going to go and score immediately – you’re not. You have to flirt with everybody to get comfortable because people are attracted by energy. You’re not leading them on, you’re not asking them out – you’re just flirting, making them feel good.
So we need to get over that?
We totally do. Everybody needs to practice. I’m always practicing.
You suggest talking about the surroundings?
I call it observational flirting and I teach everybody how to do that. It’s so easy to just flirt with an observation. Let’s say you’re in the supermarket and I see that you’re looking at a box of Captain Crunch. I walk by and go, “Captain Crunch. How cute. Do you still eat that? And we’ll have a conversation about Captain Crunch. And it takes the pressure off because then you’re just asking questions. I find out that you like Captain Crunch because you used to have Captain Crunch with your dad. So I say, “Do you still go home and have Captain Crunch with your dad?” I’m asking you questions and by asking you questions you’re talking. By talking we’re having a conversation. By having a conversation where you’re doing most of the talking, and me asking, you’ll have the impression that I’m attracted to you. You know I’m attracted to you because I came over but you’ll start realizing the fact that I’m interested in you. And you got to speak about yourself and everybody’s favorite subject is themselves.
How about a good idea for a creative Valentine’s Day date?
Something different. Stop making reservations. I don’t care whether you go to college or not, people always think that taking someone out to a fancy restaurant is the way to go. I say tell them to meet you at your place or their place and bring a picnic basket and have an indoor picnic with candles and massage oil and everything else. It’s a lot more fun.
Can you talk about any of the actors/celebrities you’ve worked with?
I can’t say who I’ve worked with, but I’ll tell stories. I’ve worked with some people who are wonderful at memorizing lines; they’re fantastic at turning an audience on but they’re inept socially. Just because someone can memorize lines doesn’t mean that they can actually go and approach somebody. So I’ve worked with some celebrities where I’ve scripted it out for them. I show them the script – meaning I teach them that life is like a giant TV and everybody there is on a set. “What would you say to this girl if you were on the set? If you had to go over there and seduce her and talk to her, what would you say to her?” “Well, I’d walk over and compliment her.” “Well, then go do it.”
So what about people trying to get started again after a bad break up?
If you had a bad break up, you’ve got to get over that break up. If you don’t get over that break up, forget about meeting other people because you’re just going to do a replacement theory and you’re going to get the same type of bad relationship again. It’s OK to spend some time by yourself after you’ve broken up. Figure out what happened because you don’t want to go into any encounter with anger. You go in with anger, you’re not going to meet the right type of person. You’re going to meet someone else who’s angry, too, and then the two of you will be angry together.
That’s funny.
It’s true. You totally attract what you put out. Think about it. You go out on a Friday with your friends. You’re totally annoyed. You’re sick and tired because the first guy that comes over it’s the same drunk guy that always comes over and bothers you. Immediately you start getting annoyed, so what happens next? You’ve got an annoyed energy. Your body language is basically saying, “I’m pissed off.” So the fact is, a good guy isn’t going to come over and deal with you because he doesn’t want to deal with that bullshit, but the asshole’s always going to come over. So you’re going to have a string of idiots come over and drive you crazy that night.
Right. So we’re blaming other people when we should be looking at our own body language?
Exactly. We need to look at ourselves. We control our own destiny. No one else is going to do it for us. With that same guy, you could change it by saying, “OK, fine. That guy was an idiot. Who cares?” And if you start laughing and smiling, the guy that wants to talk to you, the one that’s reading your body language starts saying, “Hey, wait a second. She’s approachable. Maybe I’ll come over there.” So it might take six or seven idiots before the one guy comes over that’s good. Who cares about the six or seven idiots? They’re always out there anyway. |
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