I don’t think that women are objects or simple minded. I’m currently settled down with a wonderful woman and we’re having our first child.

How is it disrespectful to give them the honest reason why I approached?

I agree that commenting on something a woman’s doing is a great way to engage her but it’s not the ONLY way to engage.

If you re-read my post you’ll see that I recommend for guys to instantly ask her a question after they tell her she’s beautiful precisely so that she doesn’t feel like she’s put on the spot. Otherwise all she can do is say “thanks” as David mentioned and the conversation goes nowhere.

As far as a deeper connection vs. a superficial connection goes I agree but when a guy approaches he’s usually approaching her because he’s attracted to her.

So he needs to find out if there is a deeper connection. Once again, read what I wrote: the basic attitude is “I see you’re beautiful and that’s prompted me to come over to see if we might have a deeper connection. If we do and we’re both single then let’s explore this a little deeper. If not, I wish you all the best.”

Not spamming the site at all. And I’m not trying to be disrespectful. I have definitely learned things from you so I have a lot of respect for you and what you teach.

If I’m offside for my comments then I apologize. This is YOUR blog and perhaps it’s not the place for me to insert my take on things.

I assume your blog comments section is here to stimulate discussion and not just for people to agree with you. I rarely post any comments on anything and figured if what I said was offensive my comment wouldn’t be approved.

If you’d genuinely like to discuss, here’s what I’m saying:

You say it doesn’t work and that it’s ridiculous. I’ve done it myself and I’ve seen it work many times.

If I can make myself clear enough I think you’ll agree with what I’m saying.

Here’s what i teach my students:

“Walking up and telling a woman you approached her because you find her attractive works when it’s an honest expression of the situation.” I teach my students not to use this “line” when they’re out for the specific purpose of approaching a bunch of women but instead to dig for the truth of that situation.

I personally don’t use “lines” either but I have found that a simple opener like this can be really useful as a set of training wheels to someone who’s unsure of where to begin.

But yes, if you’re using it as a “line” and it’s not true then it just plain doesn’t work.

As I said before we can go back and forth all we want but what I’m saying is: I’ve done it. it works. I’ve taught other people to do it. It’s worked for them.

I’m not saying that it worked because of the “line” just that we don’t need to dismiss telling a woman she’s beautiful out of hand just because it seems like it wouldn’t work.

Science is full of things that sound like they should work but don’t and things that sound like they shouldn’t work, but do.

I have absolutely no doubt that what you teach your students to do works. But that doesn’t mean it’s the ONLY thing that works.

I hope I’ve made myself clear and remained respectful.

Your turn!

Zach

A complete stranger coming up to me, telling me that I’m beautiful is going to freak me out-whether it is meant sincerely or not it is still going to freak me out. My response is not going to be what you want it to be, especially if the warning bells are going off, I can guarantee it.

Marina is right, all that tells me is that you are judging me by my looks and nothing else.

Sorry Zach, you need to take a page from David’s book, and realize that women are not objects or simple minded. David is good at what he teaches for a reason – you should listen. Why would you say something that is going to put her on the spot and, chances are, make her uncomfortable on some level?

If you want to make a connection try for a deeper connection not a superficial one. Say something about the can of soup she’s got in her hand, the book she is looking at, what kind of coffee she’d suggest, something that is going on in that moment. Save the you’re beautiful for later when it’s more appropriate, like when you’ve actually made a connection.

Are you seriously trying to challenge me or just spamming the site?

I am way past so called lines in my life so if its me your challenging lets debate.
Always up for some fun with a rookie:)

No matter how little sense it makes to you, no matter how stupid you think it is, I’ve tested it and have taught many men a similar opener and have found that – when it’s true – it very often works.

Bottom line is just because something hasn’t worked for you doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for anybody.

Now just walking up and saying “you’re beautiful” and then standing there like a dumbass would almost certainly make a woman feel uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean that telling a woman you think she’s cute or beautiful in the moment you meet her is inherently a bad thing.

There are some things about pulling this off though.

I agree that it puts her on the spot which is why I teach guys to immediately ask her a question without giving her a chance to respond as in “thought you were cute and wanted to say hi. What are you up to?” It’s important not to pause after you state your intent and ask a question. Then, by answering the question she is agreeing to the context you’ve set which is: I’m a man, you’re a woman, I’m attracted to you and I want to know more.

This “I want to know more” is really important. By communicating this verbally and non-verbally, you take the neediness out of giving a woman a compliment right away.

If you communicate “you’re beautiful and I’m sold on you.” then again, yes, you’ll be putting her on the spot and showing her that you don’t have any standards when it comes to her behavior.

Once again I want to say that we can debate it for hours but the bottom line is: have you tried it? Has it worked? If it hasn’t worked, is it because of the “line” you used? or was it something else?

I have tried it. I have taught many men to use it. It does work when it’s true (you have to genuinely be attracted to her), and you communicate that though that’s why you approached her, you still need to know more to see if you want to get to know her or exchange numbers etc.

I hope some guys find this helpful.

Zach

Say you throw this out:
“Hey, I know this is random, but I had to tell you that you are unbelievably cute.”
OR
“I’m in a huge hurry but I think you’re ridiculously cute.”
OR
“Hey I know this is gonna sound crazy but I think you’re really cute and I would regret it all day if I didn’t talk to you. I’m …..”

If the setting is conducive to conversation and observations, make the best of it. If not, tell her you want to find out if she’s as cool as she is cute and get her number (routine, I know).

Even though this is a canned opener if you observe and converse well, you can take it anywhere you want it to go. How many men have had the balls to tell a woman she is stunning in the middle of the day? My guess is few to none.

Secondly routines tend to get you stuck in your head, if you tune into the present and focus most of your attention onto her rather than onto the routines you’re cycling through your head the conversation will naturally be more flowing and exciting.

Thirdly, when you walk up to a female you need to understand that YOU are the one giving her the opportunity. You are the strong and confident man, it is HER luck that your decided to approach her and speak to her.