Yesterday while I was on my computer, I happened to go on Facebook and saw that it was a friend of mine’s birthday. I realized that I hadn’t spoken to him in a long time, and for no other reason than I had gotten selfish and busy and that a year had passed before I knew it.
In realizing that, I thought “I miss talking to him. He’s a really good friend and a good person.” So I decided to post a happy birthday message to him on there (his birthday is on the 22nd). I didn’t hear from him all day, which surprised me because he was kind of a wiseass and a funny guy, and I would’ve expected some kind of response from him.
So at 8:30 pm last night, I received an email from a guy whose name is very familiar to me. It said, “David, I think you should know that Ron passed away.” I sat there and just stared at the computer in shock.
He was 52 years old. I was wondering how it happened. I mean, we just IM’d about a month ago.
Well, apparently, it was one of those weird and ugly twists of fate. My friend Ron was walking through Central Park, got hit by a speed biker, fell down, cracked some ribs, and hit his head. When you land on your head in the right spot, it’s always trouble.
He spent a couple weeks in the ICU — brain swelling, bleeding, in and out of consciousness and incoherent. He couldn’t fight it and the doctors couldn’t fix him.
I spent the next little while just thinking about Ron. I remember every time we hung out.
I remember his generosity. I remember that he believed that every time you have a house guest, you always take them out to dinner and show them a good time.
I also remember his honesty. When I was in my last relationship, he was one of the first ones to tell me I wasn’t feeling the things I should have felt, and that there was no reason to continue the relationship.
This blog today, however, was not written for all of you to say, “Sorry for your loss.” I am going to another funeral tomorrow also, but I don’t want to hear, “Sorry for your loss David” from any of you. Not once. This blog is your wakeup call.
Here is what I want each and every one of you to do this weekend for me and for yourself. Put together a list of all the great people in your life, and ask yourself if you’re in contact with them.
Forget the reasons why you’re not talking to them, and spend the weekend reconnecting with all of them. Call them, email them or text them. Take the time to get in touch with someone who’s a good friend but with whom you may have lost touch.
Forget the reasons why. Life happens.
Doing this is more important this weekend than thinking with your penis and going out trying to get laid. For the women, this is more important this weekend than trying to figure out how to get the right men to approach you.
It reminds me of the Mitch Album book “One More Day.” You’re not going to get one more day with the person who meant a lot to you. Shit happens. Life happens. So stop waiting like this is the endless ride, and start reconnecting.
I don’t want to see one “I’m sorry for your loss” comments today, and if you do I’ll know you didn’t read this whole blog. What I want to hear from you instead is, “Thank you for my gain. thank you for reminding me of the importance of reconnecting with a good friend.”
“Thank you for my gain David” is all I want to hear. Have a great Friday!
Thank you for my gain David. Ive lost touch with my best friend form high school and will try to get in touch with him this weekend.
Another thing to consider is what happens after one dies. Everyone thinks about it, but no one hardly ever talks about it because they don’t think it’s gonna happen to them anytime soon. There are many faiths out there that speak of the afterlife. Investigate them and see which one is true. Only one can be true.
I think about this every day. We all need wake-up calls like this to get our minds thinking about things that matter. Getting laid doesn’t matter. How you live your life, does.
Hi David,
I was on summer vacation for a few weeks this past month. During that stay back in my hometown I reconnected with the good friends in my life, and then i had the fortunate chance to reconnect with an old childhood friend who i lost contact with a few years back. We hung out like old times and even though it felt a little awkward at first, at least for me, it started to feel like old times again. I could tell he was happy to hang out with me and meet up with my folks again.
Thanks bringing this to out attention.
Stephen
Nice one
Actually Facebook has been great to reconnect with old friends. I have the attitude that I let people back in my life and don’t let anything from the past linger. So what we lost contact, if we reconnect it’s a sign we had something to begin with, if not then it was just not meant to be. People drift into and out of your life at any given point.
What I don’t like is the kind of friends that have you close when it suits them and when they don’t need you they act as if you don’t exists. I don’t care of how busy you are in life you never have a reason to say I am too busy. If someone has any meaning to you, you take/make the time.
True friends make time which is why I don’t have a lot of friends as I want to be able to really get to know them. Quality over quantity any day.
I think often it’s our own guilt that we already have not talked to our friend that makes us ashamed to call them. It’s this endless circle we can’t get ourselves out of.
“Thank you for my gain David”. Create a great weekend reconnecting.
Oops forgot
thank you for my gain David, everyone have a great weekend
David, thank you for my gain. Like you said, life is a gift, enjoy every f* minute of it!
Sorry for your… wait.
Thanks David, I’ll make that call tonight that I’ve been waiting to do for a long time.
One of the best things i’ve learned from David, as i understand it, is that the average person usually won’t reach out to connect with someone, but the above average, or unique person will.
There’s no shame in being the person to initiate the contact. Chances are they were probably hoping you would anyway.
Thanks David
Thank you for my gain David! Live the now!
Thank you David…thank you old friends..it’s great to stop and appreciate what and who is important in your life…
Thankyou for my gain ,The blogs and podcast. You have change so many of us and ways that I can’t describe ..
Good call. I’m gonna do that.
Thank you for my gain.
Man… I used to call so many of my friends regularly… I need to do that again.
Man i have to do that to like 2 persons in high school at the moment. We fought and we were really good friends. I hope we can reconnect back again in fact im going to do it tomorow if i see them in school. Wish me luck guys