Your Late February Wake-Up Call: What You MUST Understand In Order To Attract Someone
February 25, 2009 
74 Comments
I got an email the other day from a guy who participates on the blog. It was one of those private kind of emails . . . something that he did not want the rest of us to know.
You know, it’s funny. I’ve been doing this blog for over a year and a half and get about 250,000 people who read it every month.
Everything that you guys email me about privately, I always wish you would post on the blog because I want you to realize that you are not alone. How true this is really hit me right after I got that private email from that male reader, because later that same day I got another “private” email from a female reader that was virtually IDENTICAL!
Both were wondering what they were doing wrong. Both were wondering why things were not working for them. Both were beating themselves up in their emails.
Do you realize that in order to attract the person that you want, you have to become that person? This is a concept you MUST understand in order for your love life to really start working.
I have recorded a podcast that’s absolutely going to blow you away! It’s all about self-love and the law of attraction.
Everyone who is serious about wanting to meet somebody needs to listen to this. Consider this your late February wake-up call!
Enjoy!
Click here to enjoy the podcast.
And if you are serious about changing your life you need to read all of this right now.
good podcast,
i know too many people who just fantasize about having things and never having to work on it.
(me myself included)
and the podcast is really another reminder to really put in the work towards the things i want.
wow! what a great podcast David.
i am listening to this podcast right now in my school library,
and it felt like somebody just pour a huge bucket of water over my head,
i finally realize how much hard work I’m lacking in my every day life!
5 things that I love about myself:
Never expect anything in return.
Don’t take myself too serious, makes fun of myself.
Very straightforward with people.
Loyal to those close to me.
Always looks at life as one big playground with new things to explore.
5 things that I have to work on.
Try to be more toned down at moments, use if you can say my feminine powers but not in a manipulative way.
Let others help me and ask for help. People like to feel useful and wanted.
Remember to be more openly grateful for things people close to me do, just because I don’t need a thank you in return does not mean someone else don’t need it.
Just because I like to make fun of myself does not mean some else like to be teased or taken in a non serious manner. Time and a place for everything.
Uncluttered myself and my surroundings. If I am left to my own free styling I can easy be a messy head and when that happens it’s a sure sign that something inside me is out of control.
These will to a point constant change as you master some, see some new ones, you will keep on evolving. Not sure what they do for my dating, not that I am interested right now and the two major relationship I have had nearly span 20 years out of 22 years of dating. Almost new to this thing when I get back on track. Oh forgot thank you David for another great points to ponder and thanks to anyone who takes their time to read and respond to me. David gee I am starting to scare myself way too nice.
David, i finally realize why after all these years I’ve been having the same boyfriend over and over again.
although their faces have changed, but they are still really the same self centering men with the same selfish personality!
now i know…. for me to find a boyfriend i really want, i really have to work on myself first!
Just last night, after a good talk with a restaurant hostess, I left the restaurant before getting her number.
Then half way home, I stopped and turned around.
I prevailed against the excuses of her boss being around and the lack of “opportunity” to move the conversation to the point I wanted to be at.
When I went back in I walked straight to her.
SHE SAID: Welcome back.
I SAID: What’s the best night for me to come see you?
SHE SAID: Well, I’m really busy with work and school.
I SAID: What does that mean?
SHE SAID: I’m only 19, don’t know if you knew that?
I SAID: Does that mean you’re not interested?
SHE SAID: OK, I’ll give you my number.
I SAID: Btw, if you were eighteen, it would have been a deal breaker.
Her female boss died laughing. She laughed too.
I texted her about an hour later telling her that even though she’s 19 I’m glad she gave me her number. I then typed “Would you believe I went to the gym tonight?”
She wrote back, apologizing for being awkward at work — that she’s not allowed to flirt.
I left it at that, and will get back to her later in the week, building on some of what we’ve already spoken about.
I forgot to include that THE FIRST THING I SAID the 2nd time I went back to see her was:
I had to walk my friend to the subway.
David, David, David, yet another podcast that’s right on the money! Like Rachel, i’ve been having the same type of girlfriends over the past two years.
I really want to find out what else you have to say about this matter, so i think i will order your self love product and give it a try……
i’ll keep you posted on what i think about it!
Very nice! Thanks for posting!
I recently put together a list with many experiences that resulted in some kind of suffering or pain. Then I questioned many of my beliefs using Katie Byrons 4 questions.
How do you suggest to work through your life’s lessons?
this is a very interesting website!
a friend of mine who’s been telling me about how he’s been learning a lot of good tools to talk to the ladies on this website, and man, was he right or what? i really enjoyed the podcast, i think i am gonna spend some time and give this website a tour!
i was listening to this podcast in my office, and i forgot to plug in the headphones!
now the whole office is giving me the “what is that guy listening to?” look lol
but all i got to say is, David, this is yet another great podcast! will share my thoughts on it later when i get off work!
omg! that was such a good podcast! one of my girlfriend was telling me about this website, and i thought she was hella crazy for reading some dating website for men.
but now i can’t stop myself from reading all these blogs in class!
hello everyone! I’m Bri!!! and i’m sooooooooooo excited to join the David Wygant website!
5 things i have to work on:
1. talk to more boys
2. work out more
3. read more
4. go out more
5. have more confidence with myself
Good podcast indeed.
I remember when I first watched “The Secret” and thought that from that day forward all I had to to get something was visualize it or write about it in my notebook.
Needless to say… there’s more to it than that, lol.
Nice podcast! Thank you. Many good gems of wisdom.
So I have a question like Logan said about life lessons and working through them. I am totally down with what you’ve said and agree that we attract who we are and that we have to love ourselves. But … talk about patterns… I noticed that at times throughout my life, I’ve liked a guy and another what I might consider “prettier” (and seemingly more charming, funny, whatever…) gal will catch the guy’s attention at the same time. It hasn’t happened in a number of years but it’s happened enough times that I see it as a pattern. Usually, they don’t sustain but they are there for a little while at least.
I had been in a relationship, currently on a ‘break’ giving some space to it, and have liked another guy which I posted about awhile ago. There was this other gal who I’m friendly with … he & I have been friends for a long time but he indicated that he was attracted to her (not knowing where my relationship ‘stood.’). It always irked me but what could I do? There’ve only been a few times we’ve all been together but we were recently, and I felt like the gawky, second wheel when she’s there. When she’s not around, we have a great time. But it brings up I guess issues from the past. And I’ve had this happen before over the years with other guys. I know I should bolster myself up here but … how exactly? I know all the things to ‘say’ to myself but ??
Now you said, David, that you wished that people would write on the blog the questions they write to you personally. So, this might be something I would write personally… how do I work through that? I can tell myself that I have lots to offer, that I’m pretty, smart, fun to be with, etc. etc. And I believe that. I can also say that if he and she have better chemistry and hit off, then so be it. BUT I feel really badly about this, about myself within this situation. I don’t want to dislike her over it but it brings up a competitive feeling.
Also, re: getting a dog from a breeder… I’m sure your dog is WONDERFUL, but, David, Don’t Shop, Adopt! There are so many amazing dogs that need homes that are in shelters and will be put to sleep unless people adopt them. I don’t think dogs should be ‘bred’ or in puppy mills. Okay, back to relationships…
Thank you, as always.
Flor
Have you ever told or given him clear clues that you are interested in him. When you have been friends for such a long time maybe he has just stopped thinking of you as a GF material. Maybe he is afraid of trying to get you as a GF because he does not want to loose you as a friend. There is a lot of maybe’s there is only one way to find out, if you are that interested. Take a chance what do you have to loose.
Going to the dogs..I would have no problem adopting a dog but I had a 1 years old child at the time and was very picky about knowing the temperament of the potential dog. I would never adopt with little kids in the house and I don’t think they are puppy mills, most of them are amazing the way they treat them.
Hi Marina,
Thanks for your thoughts! Yeah, well, he didn’t want to get involved while I had a boyfriend and he had his own issues (past relationship) he was dealing with. He doesn’t know that me and the BF have taken some space because we haven’t seen each other and I thought I’d tell him in person. So .. why, in a sense, should he limit his options even if I exist if I’m (to him) not ‘available?’ I get that. But, yes, he knows for sure that I’m interested in him. And so it hurt a lot when he showed his attraction for this other person. And I felt competitive and lesser than and jealous and ….. it brought up issues from the past.
The places you see the dogs – pet stores – are not the “puppy mills,” it’s where they come from before hand that’s the problem. If you google ‘puppy mills’ you’ll find information. They are often sick because of their upbringing and have health issues. Now, this is different than a breeder. Nonetheless, if you have the choice, please adopt from a shelter. (Understandable re: little kid issue although I think it’s great for children to be exposed to animals from a youngish age.)
taras so true, if i were to believe in the secret, i think i’ll be day dreaming of hot girls and good waves all day long( not that i don’t do it already)!
Flor
It sounds to me you are playing it safe having a break from one while you check out another. I don’t know how sensitive he is but if you would like to become serious with him you have to finish it with the other first. If I was him you would not appear very attractive as it almost appear as if you are cheating. I don’t mean to be harsh but how would you feel like if you were in his shoes. You probally would not think this one is sincere or worth it.
nice blog!
does this mean i have to quit my job in burger king to stop attracting the burger lady? jk
but five things i have to work on are…
1. fitness
2. dating
3. friends
4. finance
5. confidence
Hi Marina,
That may be true (playing it safe) but I purposefully didn’t tell him right away because I wanted to do it for *me* not because of him. (It may not go ‘anywhere’ with him also. I’m very aware of that.) My “boyfriend” is also not opposed to people having non-monogamous relationships (although we had up to this point) so it wouldn’t be “cheating,” per se, at least from his perspective. Yes, I probably would feel strange if it was reversed tho’. At the same time, I am doing it the only way I can right now (figuring this out). Without going into a long saga, trust me, I’ve given this a LOT of thought!! Thank you tho’. I feel like I’m learning about myself and what I need as I go along. But thanks, I do know what you are saying! It doesn’t mean jealousy and competitiveness doesn’t come up when other women are involved. I know David has said that jealousy is an emotion we should get past. (Have to dig up that blog entry!) But I know what I’ve felt here (and before) is something from my ‘past’ and I’d like to figure out how to deal with it – feeling not as ‘spectacular’ when a more conventionally pretty, funny gal is around. I know it goes to childhood, etc. BUT … HOW to work past some of that? SElf love ? Good self esteem? Working on the great aspects of ourselves and our lives …
5 things i like about myself
1. i have a good circle of friends
2. i keep myself pretty healthy
3. i am pretty confident in certain perspectives
4. i consider myself to be pretty smart
5. i am a pretty happy person
5 things i need to work on
1. i don’t meet enough girls
2. i tend to attract a lot of younger girls instead of the ones my age
3. i don’t study enough in school
4. i tend to get lazy at times
5. i drink too much on the weekends
Tammy
Don’t forget the 5 things you love about yourself.
this blog is funny!
me and a few friends made our own vision boards a few months back,
at first we all had a lot of expectations for the things on the vision board to become true….
its been several months since we made those vision boards,
and all i can say is nothing is happening so far!
here you go Marina, thank you for reminding me : )
1. i can have a deep conversation with just about anyone
2. i have a lot of close friends who i know will be there for me anytime i want
3. i can be good at anything i set out to do good on
4. i can speak 4 languages
5. i am well traveled and well read
Roy
You too don’t forget the 5 things you love about yourself.
so i ordered the self love product about an hour ago….
and all i can say is wow!…. David really did hit a lot of key concept on how our life works.
i am about half way through right now, and i feel like my brain is melting through my skull already! (or just my brain can’t really focus on this many new thins at the same time)
David, do you go even deeper on these concepts in your mastery series as well? i will love to hear more about it!
if i have time today i will post a full review on what i think about this self love audio series, but i am really digging it so far!
Phil, i know exactly how you feel!
i ordered the self love audio a few months back,
and it really made a huge difference on how i interact with people in general on the last couple of months.
just listen to the rest of it, it gets even more interesting!
will love to read your review, and will like to share some of my own thoughts as well….
Hey Charles and Phil, is the self love audio for men only or does it apply to both men and women? will love to know!
Hey Rachel, from what i’ve listened to so far i think the concepts are pretty universal and definitely applies to both men and women!
Rachel
I have one for for women as well.
http://davidwygant.com/no-excuses-women.html
You will love it
Facundo
That was a great breakdown of your conversation. Thanks for sharing
thanks David, i’ll order it tonight when i get off work, i’ll let you know what i though of it : )
Phil
Thanks for that….i am really glad you enjoyed it, That audio is one of my all time favorite products that i have ever done.
If you dont love yourself no one else will.
Marina
How about you how to you embrace yourself everyday?
Marina
Forget my question and thanks for sharing i was working from bottom to top
well i always got my mother David………………
just joking, but i got your point, and it really taught me a lesson. thanks again David!
David
At this point I am so busy making sure my kids are ok. I do contemplate about bigger picture at my early quiet hours with kids asleep and a great cup of tea. But blogging here helps me with my internal check list to see what I might be missing.
Now you are telling me already wrote this. You will appreciate my question one the teleconference
Good job here hope you had a great bootcamp.
Five things I’m good at:
I am extremely compassionate
I am very intelligent
I take very good care of myself
I am very patient
I try to enjoy every moment of my time
Five things I need to work on:
I over-think things
I spend too much time expecting, not enough time embracing
I am extremely needy, and I find it difficult to get over this
I want to be more focused and less distracted with school work
I need to get over my hangups about eye contact
Five things I love about myself:
I am a musician
I am a good writer
I am an athlete
I know what I want from most of the aspects of my life
I am kind
haha marina thanks for reminding me as well, you’re like the blog police on this website!
so here you go!
1.i am probably more well traveled than anyone my age.
2.i am very nice to people
3.i am a very artsy guy and a very good cook
4.i am very well at expressing myself
5.i am still young and i am embracing my life
Roy
Blog police – watch out I am armed with a keyboard and with way too much energy after being sick
Mike
Still room for late arrivals..
J dude
Can’t wait for your 5 things you love oh I can answer for you five things you love about yourself I’ve got great genes times 5, things to work on none.
Sandra
Unusual quiet today
K
Know you will make it sound good but what about filling in the empty spaces after K
Mac
Too many entries for your liking today
Facundo,
I like that bro. That took courage and balls to do what you did. I commend you for it. Keep at it. ALthough, I must ask, were you a bit nervous walking in and then approaching her? What were you feeling? Also, when you texted her, what was the point of mentioning that you had gone to the gym that night? Had you talked about that initially?
I myself had a similar situaton at the gym yesterday. This girl that i usually see that I’ve mentioned before in my blog replies was at the gym last night and I couldnt let the night pass without me approaching her. We were both in the dance room stretching and after 20 minutes I walked over to the water fountain (where she was stretching close by) and told myself, “Don’t pussy out. Just talk to her” I filled my water bottle and then turned and walked straight towards her. Now, in case you didnt get to read my previous blogs, I had a first encounter with her where she blew me off because she was wearing her earphones. So anyhow, I had seen her several times after that and there was this awkward feeling I sensed because of that first encounter. So anyhow, last night I would clear things up. I walked straight to her from the side and say:
Me: Can I just say something?
Her: (sheepishly)What?
Me: I just wanted to apologize for that first encounter. Somehow I got the impression that you thought perhaps that I was trying to pick up on you.
Her: Oh no. It’s just that when I’m on my way out, I leave straight out. (hand motioning)
Me: So anyhow, what I wanted to ask you that one time was if you were a teacher.
Her: Oh no. (Head shaking)
Me: Oh well, I’m Mario by the way. (extending my hand)
Her: I’m Priscilla (extends her hand and we shake)
Me: Well, I’ll see you around. Bye,
Her: Bye
And I walk out.
Now I’m planning on saying hello everytime I see her. She’s as beautiful as her name and my type. I’m gonna take my time with her and see where it leads. The gym is not a typical place for girls to be comfortable talking to guys, especially since they may be all sweaty and their hair messed up, but I’m not gonna let that stop me.
I commend you again, Facundo.. You are very much like me and hearing stories like yours empowers and motivates me to continue doing the same. Great success story my friend.
Mario
Marina and Sandra,
I apologize if I was offensive. I take it all back. Post all day. “)
Mario
You really think we are there only to exercise and we don’t look at the eye candy around us. Besides some of us don’t mind looking sweaty around men, a lot of men find it very sexy as it reminds them of how we look like when they have sex with us.
Marina,
The Vampire can only enter your life when you invite him… so be warned:
Love about myself, these “5″ things
1- Good father
2- Good brother
3- Good son
4- Loyal
5- Fit
6- Very good at work (Hi Tech)
Would like to improve
1- Change my current inaction about approaching
2- Stop obsessing about my braces, which are coming off in March!
3- Be less shallow about potential date’s looks (prob won’t change)
4- Try to be more humble
5- Believe more in abundance, don’t focus so much on potential “one and only girl” for me
J
that damn #3 always a sticking point with with us girls.
Know you are a good boy. Must still not be quite up to speed did not get the vampire.
Vanity braces at 48 !
Take care
Marina,
i’m not complaining about sweaty women. If a girl looks attractive in work-out clothes, then imagine her all dolled up? It’s her that I’m concerned about. I know she wants me to talk to her. I can just tell, even though she doesn’t show it. I keep running into her all the time at the gym. It’s almost inevitable that I see her. I’m gonna pursue this.
The link is broken, is anyone else having this problem? does anyone have a mirror?
It started working
I have not heard the podcast yet I can not bring it in for some reason.
Marina
I got home around nine tonight had to work a late shift and I can not get this stupid podcast to work. Go get him girl Roy that is. I am also armed with a keyboard that may be dangerous to your health. And a monitor that sees all. It is like my crystal ball. Nite Nite everyone until the next blog.
Facundo – Loved your story! I just realized that when a guy comes back after a good exchange ends and we part ways, it really makes me act/react in a similar fashion – I am more likely to throw my ‘monkey chatter’ to the wind and circumvent my usual behavioral ‘firewalls.” The self-conscious over-thinking disappears and you’ve just broken through the security perimeter without setting off any of my alarms! Good job! Thanks for the “Ah, ha” moment!
5 things going for me….
-am a young good looking man, fit & healthy
-witty, funny, confident to approach women more often than not
-pursuing what I want to do in my life
-Reading davids blog
-taking steps to imrpove my weaknesses
5 areas to work on….
-become financially independant (it may take years to realize my dream, I accept this)
-calm down and don’t be so intense all the time, learn to relax more
-diet: lay off the sweets, excercise restraint & willpower from compulsive eating habits
-read more novels/literature
-control highs and lows, lose my ego and swallow my pride
Mr. Wygant, I’d like to bring your attention to your misuse of the term “podcast”. A podcast is not a simple audio recording, nor is it a buzzword. It is embedding of media in an RSS feed that can then be consumed by a podcast reader (Miro, iTunes, Google Reader, etc.). Since your RSS feed does not have media as enclosures, your use of the word is incorrect. Cheers!
Hi David everything I hear you say sounds great I check your page and youtube channel for new updates everyday. Out of all the pick up artsist ive seen you seem to be the best and know the most. Im 18 years old turning 19 this summer and from canada. Im very interested in purchasing a product sometime soon … would love to take a bootcamp but dont got that much I can spend at the moment. My problem is that I never acctually end up approaching ppl and I really want to. My style and looks are not a problem at all and have no problem talking with woman its just that I can never come up with somthing to say even by observing I cant think of somthing except Hi I just noticed you and i had to come over and say Hi which is kind of a pick up line. I have a strong acting background and have done improv courses so that is a bonus. I have approached ppl before and never had a problem and have had ppl approach me before and im ussually fine and can have a great conversation and even close effectivly but this isnt always. I really need some help on opening so that i feel comfortable doing it and would be nice if i had a wingman but nobody I know will come out and practise with me so I never get around to it. I really want to master this I have seen all your videos and have learned alot but I really dont even know where to start. I was looking through your programs and I thought 20 ways to meet hotter woman seemed like the best one for me but I dont know because im not 100% sure on what it teaches and if ita what I need. please get back to me with some info.
Thanks.
Great stuff, David!
So funny too!…Now thats something I’ll try, writing out a check of one million pounds to myself, ha,ha!!
Will let you know when that manifest.
Would like to hear more about abundance and your own experience of it in your life.
Many thanks again for wonderful inspiring PODCAST!
Sorry, spent most of the day out of the house yesterday. I’ll catch the next wave but I enjoyed all the posts.
Mike
Profilic
You are gettinga great audio for free!!
How about thanks david for this fantastic audio and by the way…..you are using a term wrong.
I dont get people sometimes.
Show appreciation for everything that someone gives you.
The art of being a good communicator is not the way he posted.
What i teach is how to communicate so you dont offend people.
Read Profilic programers post.
Mr. Wygant, I’d like to bring your attention to your misuse of the term “podcast”. A podcast is not a simple audio recording, nor is it a buzzword. It is embedding of media in an RSS feed that can then be consumed by a podcast reader (Miro, iTunes, Google Reader, etc.). Since your RSS feed does not have media as enclosures, your use of the word is incorrect. Cheers!
SO at the end he says Cheers/
See i would have thanked someone for great free content and then would have informed him of my knowledge.
That way you come across as a good friendly person.
The way he did was lecturing me.
Do you speak to women like this?
You all can learn from this.
I think what happens to a lot of people is they search for confidence and self esteem from outside sources. Ive been there and still struggle with it almost daily. Especially if you’ve been hurt by someone. If everyone just took the time to figure out what they like, what theyre attracted to and have a bottom line that they wont accept any less from, they would notice how attractive they are to other people. People also need to realize not everyone is the same. This is a good thing, to be a little different and unique is what sets you apart from everyone else. If you’re confident in who you are no matter what, you’re going to attract people with the same interests and morals.
David,
read it put the ignore glasses on,,some people just need too much help.
Hi Mac,
Thanks for the good words.
WAS I NERVOUS?
I’m not a very nervous type.
This doesn’t mean I don’t feel it. But I have a way of passing through it.
I have moments of pause for sure.
And there are times I do not make the approach.
But once I make an observation that I feel I can create a conversation with I pretty much grab my “stuff below the belt” and don’t think about what could go wrong.
My thinking is at the very least I will learn what doesn’t work.
I think of it as trying a new excerise at the gym.
Or studying for a speech.
You’re gonna learn something no matter what.
I know I have to take action to get better.
WHY I MENTIONED THE GYM
It told her a tiny bit about me.
It had an air of insouciance, I thought.
Allowed me to drop some conversation bait.
Let me know how the “gym girl” progresses.
F
K,
Is that right?
Thanks for sharing.
If I eat too much fiber my crap comes out looking like rabbit pellets and I want to call that a pod-cast. Is that a good use of the word?
David
I am a programmer myself and I started with the keypunch pad then graduated from that to the big floppy disc. I can take care of my own computer. But you know what I did I just ignored it. Sometimes you can not please some people in this world. Hey I wonder does Daphne do must of your blogs as well lol……
Luv Ya
Sandra
Daphne the Wonder Dog.
Oh I am sorry I used to have a cat that would sit in my lap years ago and I was playing this game and when he seen the arrow move he tried his hardest to catch it was funny you ought to have seen it. lol
Mike
I read that about the rabbit pellets I lmao. Yes since he knows so much about computers I wonder if he can beat Bill Gates. Boy I would love to have the money he has in Microsoft.
MAC – good job for you, too! Very well done to smooth over any possible misconceptions and lay a good foundation. Now you guys are getting a clue of just how “off” we women can be at times. It’s not personal – our head is simply somewhere far, far away….
I agree with David, posting a comment like prolific programmer’s lets us all see how not to talk to others, we learn from everthing in life, The good, the bad, and the ugly.
What if you only attract sides of yourself… and not your whole self, David?