Comments on: You Have No Right To Marry This Person

By: Bob

Bob — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 11:42:48 +0000

I think a good number of women marry not just guys with a fat bank account or stock portfolio, but guys with good jobs, steady paychecks and enough mental/emotional stability to keep the financial stability going. These gals don’t fall in love with the guy for who he is as a person, but fall in in love with the guy for his breadwinner value, as the ultimate purpose of this woman is to establish, build and support a family. That is the end goal…house, kids, family. The husband comes in dead last. You know what happens? As time goes on in the marriage, the woman isn’t into sex or even affection from her hubby anymore.

When you are driving on the highway and you see a minivan or SUV with one of those family stick figure decals in the rear window, chances are you will see a guy driving that vehicle, a guy in a sexless, loveless marriage. That decal is the badge of honor for women who want the family and the secuity of marriage before wanting the man who makes that all possible.

For every woman who will settle for nothing less than shopping sprees on Rodeo Drive, there are 3 or 4 gals who will be happy to settle for packing that minivan on guiltless shopping sprees on the hubby’s credit card at Wal-Mart or Target.

By: Tony

Tony — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:25:34 +0000

Dave, I got to agree with the last line you wrote. People who marry for money are pretty much live-in hookers. They are also destined to live unhappy lives.

By: Khiem/Ken (DW Coach)

Khiem/Ken (DW Coach) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:59:44 +0000

Jeff,

It’s true that men use women for sex… but in the end, who truly uses who?

Most of the time, is it easier for the men to ask for sex before giving out their money… or is it easier for women to ask for money before giving out sex?

In either case, the relationship is founded on shaky foundations b/c it becomes a constant power struggle with sex as leverage on one hand and money on the other.

Healthy relationships shouldn’t be built on power plays.

By: Angelika

Angelika — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 07:41:13 +0000

I agree with Greg that as long as both parties understand what they are getting into, I see no reason to judge them. But I do feel sorry for them because they lead unhappy and unfulfilled lives.

I knew a 22-year old girl who was with a 50+ year old man. He was balding and fat, but had a huge bank account. She was depressed and dying to have sex with a few hot studs her age (and probably did.) I asked her why she didn’t work, and she said, “Because I’m lazy.” At least she was honest.

It was actually really funny because she couldn’t understand why I chose to work instead of just using my looks to find someone to take care of me, and I couldn’t understand why she chose to forgo her freedom and happiness.

I think a lot of women (and men) who marry for money are plainly lazy. They also must have a low self-esteem because higher self-esteem comes from being successful in achieving self-reliance and knowing that you can survive on your own.

By: Pizzabox

Pizzabox — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:31:29 +0000

Your blog is on the top of my list! I know this story very well. So today I look at the positive and turn off any relationship that relies on money. I’m still rebuilding but like my daughter tells me “It’s Life”

By: Tony888

Tony888 — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 21:31:56 +0000

I like that last line Paul. Well said.

Money does bring a physically comfortable life, or can. But as you said, it does not bring happiness. A lot of very wealthy people are miserable, whether they hide it or not.

By: Paul

Paul — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 19:17:07 +0000

Women marrying for security and power is as old as life is. And we all have the right to choose what we want so I disagree with the blog. Physical beauty DOES give a woman options not available to all women.

I suggest that beautiful women keep something in mind that I believe:

Money brings comfort. But money does not bring happiness.

By: Crystal

Crystal — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:46:56 +0000

What if I secretly hope that the love of my life will make enough money so that I we can afford for me to stay home and pursue a writing careeer full-time. Am I a gold-digger? Oh, I also want to have enough money someday so that I can afford to get acrylic nails on a regular basis.

By: Greg

Greg — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 08:00:45 +0000

Like Jeff says, I think many of these marriages are out of mutual convenience.

As long as both parties understand what they are getting into, I see no reason to judge them.

If a guy naively falls for a Paris Hilton and is taken to the cleaners, of course I feel for him. That said, I hope he watches his back more closely the next time.

Personally, I have had a few experiences with women, where in hindsight I can see alterior motives. I have learned from these and how to better conduct myself in the future.

I think the real question is: Why do some men (and women) lack the initiative to cultivate a meaningful relationship?

By: jeff a

jeff a — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 07:37:25 +0000

I agree with you David. But don’t you think the men are using the women just as much? If a 45 yr old rich guy marries a 23 yr old hes probably just in it for the sex. Do you think he is really connecting emotionally with someone half his age? So in a sense both people are using each other. The question becomes, which is worse, using someone for money or using them for sex?